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taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:
And unfortently for the 37th and the human race at large he is an old hippie wanna be who has a habit for replacing the O2 in the life suport systems wih an arasol from of LSD.

"Duuddddddeeeeee...the colors are absolutely AWWWWWEEEssssooommmmmeee....and the music...dig that heavy pinging noise! What's it called!"
"Ah...'sonar collision alarm'."
"Craaazzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!"

" Man this SLBM targeting system is better then atari!, look at all the bright lights that show up when I press this button! "

Kargan3033 wrote:" Man this SLBM targeting system is better then atari!, look at all the bright lights that show up when I press this button! "

Inadvertently flushing the torpedo tubes ironically launches a HARPOON strike on the two mercenary ASW frigates closing in on their position.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:" Man this SLBM targeting system is better then atari!, look at all the bright lights that show up when I press this button! "

Inadvertently flushing the torpedo tubes ironically launches a HARPOON strike on the two mercenary ASW frigates closing in on their position.

37th Deep Ones Crewmember: " Captain the two ships that just got sunk, were they are of the Chinesse Feedertion fishing fleet? "

Captain Morgan: " What are you talking about, we DID NOT sink those two ships. "

37th Deep Ones Crewmember: " But Sir we did, the logs of our fire control and targeting systems CLEARLY show that we where the ones who launched the Harpoon sites on this two ships. "

Captain Morgan: " Umm yes, you could be right, I want you to conduct a visal inspection of our forward tropeddo tubes from the inside just to be sure that there is no malfuction in our fire control and targeting systems. '

37th Deep Ones Crewmember: " Yes Sir I'get right on it. "

Capatain Morgan: " Good Lad I knew I could depent on you. "

*five Minutes later*

Captain Morain: " Purge all forward torpeddo tubes. "

"We believe that before they were destroyed, our 'assets' managed to deliver a fatal blow to the 'target'. We recovered a body definitely belonging to Captain Morgan's crew. Can we NOW cease this drain on our resources, father?"
"You fool! You find one washed-up corpse and you think the hunt is over? Morgan is a cunning and ruthless opponent; he is wholly capable of gnawing off his own limb to escape a trap! And that's what this is; we had him pinned down at last, and he sacrifices one of his lackeys in order to give us the slip! THe hunt continues!"

taalismn wrote:"We believe that before they were destroyed, our 'assets' managed to deliver a fatal blow to the 'target'. We recovered a body definitely belonging to Captain Morgan's crew. Can we NOW cease this drain on our resources, father?"
"You fool! You find one washed-up corpse and you think the hunt is over? Morgan is a cunning and ruthless opponent; he is wholly capable of gnawing off his own limb to escape a trap! And that's what this is; we had him pinned down at last, and he sacrifices one of his lackeys in order to give us the slip! THe hunt continues!"

Cue the Seawolf music.

"Okay, make a note of this: The engineers are no longer allowed to connect the fire sprinkler system directly to the sea roosters.
Second: the chef is not allowed to serve flambe'ed ANYTHING aboard ship. Got that, ensign?"
"*glub*"

New DOUBLE enemies for the 37th:

The Pacific Tuna Fleet----Yeah, just as the tuna fleet is recovering from the Rain of Death and Zentraedi pirates. trawl-netting fishing craft keep getting pulled under because the damned 37th isn't checking their sonar and avoiding the ships. This has led to the various fishing concerns passing the hat to hire mercenaries to go after the 37th, and yet another reason the Deep Ones can't show their faces on the surface.

The Dolphin Collective---You'd think sinking over a dozen trawlers would endear the 37th to the dolphin community, right? Well, it WOULD have, if the cook haven't have dished up Flipper for dinner...Nw, these aren't Rifts Earth dolphins, so their ability to hit back at the Deep Ones is rather limited, but the dolphins have long memories and it can't be that hard to evolve opposable thumbs....

The Japaness Self Defence Navy(JSDN) have been putting presure on the ASC to terminate the 37th because of the 37's habit of stealing tech from the down Zent ships that the JSDN have been trying to salvage for the Robotech Resreach Center in Japan as well dumping their spent nuclear fuel rods off the cost of Japan in the hopes of awakening Godzilla.

Greenpeace...mainly because they recognize that of they oppose the 37th, that means a number of other groups won't actively oppose THEM with such actions of mining their vessels.

taalismn wrote:Greenpeace...mainly because they recognize that of they oppose the 37th, that means a number of other groups won't actively oppose THEM with such actions of mining their vessels.

Proving once again that like cockroachs Libtards eco terrorist scum can survive a world wide apoclypes.

Hmm A Godzilla/Greenpeace mutant?, now that's something you would not see everyday in the post rain RT world.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Greenpeace...mainly because they recognize that of they oppose the 37th, that means a number of other groups won't actively oppose THEM with such actions of mining their vessels.

Proving once again that like cockroachs Libtards eco terrorist scum can survive a world wide apoclypes.

Hmm A Godzilla/Greenpeace mutant?, now that's something you would not see everyday in the post rain RT world.

Unless, possibly, you were in Ice Guard, but that's largely because that much green immediately draws the snow-blind eye.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Greenpeace...mainly because they recognize that of they oppose the 37th, that means a number of other groups won't actively oppose THEM with such actions of mining their vessels.

Proving once again that like cockroachs Libtards eco terrorist scum can survive a world wide apoclypes.

Hmm A Godzilla/Greenpeace mutant?, now that's something you would not see everyday in the post rain RT world.

Unless, possibly, you were in Ice Guard, but that's largely because that much green immediately draws the snow-blind eye.

That and the fact that my ideas for geneticly engenered pollenators as a food soruce was found to be *Unsound* by the rest of the so called scientists, I mean a hudrened and twenety food tall polennator would end world wide starvation in less then six years once there were enough pollenators to go around.

Also those blind fools scoffed at my idea for cross breeding Cannabis and the Flower Of Life as the next generation of super effective pain killers as well as to treat servre cases of depression and other mental health issues.

Yeah, well, that's the problem with genetic engineering. Life ALWAYS finds a way to go off-reservation.

taalismn wrote:Yeah, well, that's the problem with genetic engineering. Life ALWAYS finds a way to go off-reservation.

That is true but the risk is so small and the benfits so great that it is worth the risk, besides the human race is weak and needs to toughen up if anything should go worng.

Remember it's not survival of the fitest, but the most apadable.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Yeah, well, that's the problem with genetic engineering. Life ALWAYS finds a way to go off-reservation.

That is true but the risk is so small and the benfits so great that it is worth the risk, besides the human race is weak and needs to toughen up if anything should go worng.

Remember it's not survival of the fitest, but the most apadable.

All the same, if 'Jurassic World' starts a franchise near me, I'm investing in multiple-shot tactical rocket launchers.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Yeah, well, that's the problem with genetic engineering. Life ALWAYS finds a way to go off-reservation.

That is true but the risk is so small and the benfits so great that it is worth the risk, besides the human race is weak and needs to toughen up if anything should go worng.

Remember it's not survival of the fitest, but the most apadable.

All the same, if 'Jurassic World' starts a franchise near me, I'm investing in multiple-shot tactical rocket launchers.

MMMMM BBQ'ed dino steaks!

Kargan3033 wrote:[

MMMMM BBQ'ed dino steaks!

"Napalm! Smells like...barbecue!"

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

MMMMM BBQ'ed dino steaks!

"Napalm! Smells like...barbecue!"

HEH! I wonder what a BBQ between the Ice Guard and the Deep Ones would be like.

Espeically if Alverez and Petra start exchanging recepies and *Spices*

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

MMMMM BBQ'ed dino steaks!

"Napalm! Smells like...barbecue!"

HEH! I wonder what a BBQ between the Ice Guard and the Deep Ones would be like.

Espeically if Alverez and Petra start exchanging recepies and *Spices*

Short and violent, if Ice Guard accidentally hooked a Deep One while icefishing, and didn't immediately identify them as 'friendly'.
Especially if the Ice Guard is back to fishing with hand grenades.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

MMMMM BBQ'ed dino steaks!

"Napalm! Smells like...barbecue!"

HEH! I wonder what a BBQ between the Ice Guard and the Deep Ones would be like.

Espeically if Alverez and Petra start exchanging recepies and *Spices*

Short and violent, if Ice Guard accidentally hooked a Deep One while icefishing, and didn't immediately identify them as 'friendly'.
Especially if the Ice Guard is back to fishing with hand grenades.

True but I'm thinking more a long the lines of the ICE Guards and the Deep Ones as friends having a *friendly*BBQ together.

"Just how DO you prepare eighty-foot calamari?"
"Tell it straight: 'you're going to die and be eaten'."

taalismn wrote:"Just how DO you prepare eighty-foot calamari?"
"Tell it straight: 'you're going to die and be eaten'."

I'm sure that the *cookbook* that Alveraz and Petra would come up with would be consider to be manitory reading by the GMP for the tatical use of chemical and biological weapons as well as *Ehanced* intterogation

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Just how DO you prepare eighty-foot calamari?"
"Tell it straight: 'you're going to die and be eaten'."

I'm sure that the *cookbook* that Alveraz and Petra would come up with would be consider to be manitory reading by the GMP for the tatical use of chemical and biological weapons as well as *Ehanced* intterogation

"That seafood platter you're enjoying? Wanna know what's in it? Let's see how much you're willing to tell us for the antidote..."

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Just how DO you prepare eighty-foot calamari?"
"Tell it straight: 'you're going to die and be eaten'."

I'm sure that the *cookbook* that Alveraz and Petra would come up with would be consider to be manitory reading by the GMP for the tatical use of chemical and biological weapons as well as *Ehanced* intterogation

"That seafood platter you're enjoying? Wanna know what's in it? Let's see how much you're willing to tell us for the antidote..."

Now that just cruel, after all there is no antidote to Insanity Pepper poisoning, so who ever this unlucky chump is better enjoy the trip while he or she can, provided that they have a nigh endless suply of toilet papper.

SOFT toilet paper. The other kinds just add insult to injury.

taalismn wrote:SOFT toilet paper. The other kinds just add insult to injury.

Oh right, like the GMP would care about that.

*The curse of sandpaper*(Reminds me of an old NGE/AD&D crossover story I was working on years ago.)

They probably use the same one ply crap municipal washrooms use.

Or the 'invisible grit' brand.
"IT BURNS!!!!!"

taalismn wrote:Or the 'invisible grit' brand.
"IT BURNS!!!!!"

Mixed with Fiber Glass and or Poison Ivy oil.

Of course, if the GMP ever gets their hands on a 37th member, they might well bring out the sun lamps and the tartar sauce...

taalismn wrote:Of course, if the GMP ever gets their hands on a 37th member, they might well bring out the sun lamps and the tartar sauce...

Don't forget the batter.

Tempura-boarding.

taalismn wrote:Tempura-boarding.

At lest they are even TEMPered about it.

"Back to the barbecue-"
#BOOM#
"-okay, dare I ask?"
"Propane froze."
"So?"
"We had to thaw it out with thermite...chain reaction kinda got away from us."
"So...no grill?"
"No grill...but we distributed some well-done all over the region, though!"

"Sir! The Chinese are building an island and claiming that these are their territorial waters! They have already deployed cheap knock-offs of the mutant fauna from IceGuard against us!"

Admiral: "Deploy the power armour for a surface attack..."

SRoss wrote:"Sir! The Chinese are building an island and claiming that these are their territorial waters! They have already deployed cheap knock-offs of the mutant fauna from IceGuard against us!"

Admiral: "Deploy the power armour for a surface attack..."

They'll be working to stay ahead of global warming and rising sea levels then...

"So one of our missile silos has been modified to hold a collapsible satellite dish?"
"Holdover from when they were figuring in using submarines to cover the airspace over the oceans until the deep space early warming nets could be set up. Problem is, it's a BIG honking radio telescope we have to surface to deploy and use to scan and listen. Naval Command requires us to keep it operational and practice regularly with it."
"...we use it to get porn, don't we?"
"Scrambled satellite TV, actually. We get the porn off the oceanic cable taps."

taalismn wrote:"So one of our missile silos has been modified to hold a collapsible satellite dish?"
"Holdover from when they were figuring in using submarines to cover the airspace over the oceans until the deep space early warming nets could be set up. Problem is, it's a BIG honking radio telescope we have to surface to deploy and use to scan and listen. Naval Command requires us to keep it operational and practice regularly with it."
"...we use it to get porn, don't we?"
"Scrambled satellite TV, actually. We get the porn off the oceanic cable taps."

Ahh billions and billions of tax payers money that is well spent.

Hey, the 37th knows their naval operations history, and they're perfectly willing to maintain old equipment and follow orders on apparently meaningless exercises...as long as they can twist it to their advantage.

taalismn wrote:"So one of our missile silos has been modified to hold a collapsible satellite dish?"
"Holdover from when they were figuring in using submarines to cover the airspace over the oceans until the deep space early warming nets could be set up. Problem is, it's a BIG honking radio telescope we have to surface to deploy and use to scan and listen. Naval Command requires us to keep it operational and practice regularly with it."
"...we use it to get porn, don't we?"
"Scrambled satellite TV, actually. We get the porn off the oceanic cable taps."

My kind of Captain.

"This week we are conducting a raid on a smuggling operation using commercial freighters out of Jamaica. We will capture the smugglers' ship and confiscate their cargo of contraband and hold it for safekeeping."
"What's the cargo of contraband supposed to be?"
"It's Jamaica, Randolph. The Captain's sending us after rum."

taalismn wrote:"This week we are conducting a raid on a smuggling operation using commercial freighters out of Jamaica. We will capture the smugglers' ship and confiscate their cargo of contraband and hold it for safekeeping."
"What's the cargo of contraband supposed to be?"
"It's Jamaica, Randolph. The Captain's sending us after rum."

And thus began the world wide Rum Wars as the nations of the worlds rum suply began to reach critial levels the world's powers(such as they are in post invid invation world) began to send invistgators to Jamaica to find out why the flow of rum has stoped and once it was found up that the 37th was responcable for the blockade and seire of Jamaica's rum the world's powers began to build up what rag tag fleets they could to *liberate* Jamaica and scure this *critical* resouce for themselves.

It also enforces the 'no open flames' aboard the 37th's mothership.
All it took was that one incident, and several crewmen are traumatized and go into freakout mode if they see blue flame.

That's what you get for rocking the ganja in a ship full of rum fumes.

On the plus side, the crewmen in question have the record for evacuating a ship compartment, closing and dogging the hatch behind them, and activating the fire control protocols.
They also have the records for loudest screams of fear ever heard aboard the ship.

And he hadn't even caused a fire that time.

"We need to replace the carbon dioxide scrubbers AGAIN????!!!"
"'Belch the National Anthems' contest last night in the mess."

taalismn wrote:It also enforces the 'no open flames' aboard the 37th's mothership.
All it took was that one incident, and several crewmen are traumatized and go into freakout mode if they see blue flame.

and a major upswing of Sisters of Cl The Fire Bat signing on.

"Admiral, has it occurred to you that some of our most secure lines of communication...the submarine fiber optic cables...are within the operational realm of the 37th?"
"No. Oh shi-"

taalismn wrote:"Admiral, has it occurred to you that some of our most secure lines of communication...the submarine fiber optic cables...are within the operational realm of the 37th?"
"No. Oh shi-"

Techie: "At last, finally a good connection. Now for some good quality tele.... What the sh*t is this?"