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taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Basicly like any modren day navy but with robotechnoligy and a much reduced global population.

"We take what we can get, given that our pool of options is much diminished since the Rain of Death. That means accepting some serious dregs..."

That is true also it keeps navel commanders on their toes to keep the men and women under their command in line unless they are as corrupt as their minons....eeerrr the sailors under their command.

I figure Captain Morgan started out as simply insane, but he became corrupted by his men, or had his initial bloodthirstiness directed towards more productive alternatives by the more scheme-capable crewmembers.

Compare to Major Jones, who went from being a borderline pedophile/teen-boffer(I still think he was framed) and who had to mature to become the anchor of stability that kept his lot from killing each other.

taalismn wrote:I figure Captain Morgan started out as simply insane, but he became corrupted by his men, or had his initial bloodthirstiness directed towards more productive alternatives by the more scheme-capable crewmembers.

Compare to Major Jones, who went from being a borderline pedophile/teen-boffer(I still think he was framed) and who had to mature to become the anchor of stability that kept his lot from killing each other.

That maybe true but I think it's both the branches of the UEG armed force and their envroment that made them into what they are now.

Badly dysfunctional, if not openly homicidal?

taalismn wrote:Badly dysfunctional, if not openly homicidal?

With kelptomanic tendacies and buding megalomaina.

More Things You Don't Want to Hear With the 37th:

"You DID remove the stinging cells from these sea anemones before you used them as 'deep water cabbage', right?"

"Anybody who wanted to visit the bottom of the sea, well, looks like we're ALL going along for the ride."

"Ah, when enough water comes in, the pressure WILL equalize, right?"

"Okay, have you earned your air today?"

"We fire a full torpedo salvo; that way if even two thirds of them malfunction and turn on us, we've at ;east got a few heading in the right direction at the enemy, right?"

taalismn wrote: More Things You Don't Want to Hear With the 37th:

"You DID remove the stinging cells from these sea anemones before you used them as 'deep water cabbage', right?"

"Anybody who wanted to visit the bottom of the sea, well, looks like we're ALL going along for the ride."

"Ah, when enough water comes in, the pressure WILL equalize, right?"

"Okay, have you earned your air today?"

"We fire a full torpedo salvo; that way if even two thirds of them malfunction and turn on us, we've at ;east got a few heading in the right direction at the enemy, right?"

Basicly a *normal* day in the 37th.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote: More Things You Don't Want to Hear With the 37th:

"You DID remove the stinging cells from these sea anemones before you used them as 'deep water cabbage', right?"

"Anybody who wanted to visit the bottom of the sea, well, looks like we're ALL going along for the ride."

"Ah, when enough water comes in, the pressure WILL equalize, right?"

"Okay, have you earned your air today?"

"We fire a full torpedo salvo; that way if even two thirds of them malfunction and turn on us, we've at ;east got a few heading in the right direction at the enemy, right?"

Basicly a *normal* day in the 37th.

Lt. Anderson: "Sir! I've come up with a new way to launch the Logans from our subs!"

SRoss wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Lt. Anderson: "Sir! I've come up with a new way to launch the Logans from our subs!"

"You DO realize the Logans are a minimum of nine feet wide wide and the torpedo tubes are only twenty-five inches wide?"
"...ah..."

a Typhoon's R-39 (SS-N-20) Ballstic missiles are 2.4 meters across, a Logan is 2.74 meters. with a little modification to the Typhoon hull, you could install a dozen vertical launch tubes for Logans. even better, since Logans are a lot shorter than an R-39 missile, you could install an airlock of sorts so you could open up the bottom part of the tube for access and maintenance and still have leak prevention beyond the external door. (a typhoon usually has 20 missile tubes, 12 logan sized ones would still leave a bit of extra space in 'sherwood forest' for extra cargo, or room for a fighter maintenance bay)

glitterboy2098 wrote:a Typhoon's R-39 (SS-N-20) Ballstic missiles are 2.4 meters across, a Logan is 2.74 meters. with a little modification to the Typhoon hull, you could install a dozen vertical launch tubes for Logans. even better, since Logans are a lot shorter than an R-39 missile, you could install an airlock of sorts so you could open up the bottom part of the tube for access and maintenance and still have leak prevention beyond the external door. (a typhoon usually has 20 missile tubes, 12 logan sized ones would still leave a bit of extra space in 'sherwood forest' for extra cargo, or room for a fighter maintenance bay)

Yes, that would be the way to go...but this is the ASC's loser-sump, the 37th. They will come to this solution only after tearing down and rebuilding the ship five or six times.

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:a Typhoon's R-39 (SS-N-20) Ballstic missiles are 2.4 meters across, a Logan is 2.74 meters. with a little modification to the Typhoon hull, you could install a dozen vertical launch tubes for Logans. even better, since Logans are a lot shorter than an R-39 missile, you could install an airlock of sorts so you could open up the bottom part of the tube for access and maintenance and still have leak prevention beyond the external door. (a typhoon usually has 20 missile tubes, 12 logan sized ones would still leave a bit of extra space in 'sherwood forest' for extra cargo, or room for a fighter maintenance bay)

Yes, that would be the way to go...but this is the ASC's loser-sump, the 37th. They will come to this solution only after tearing down and rebuilding the ship five or six times.

Which will keep them out of trouble for the most part, yes, yes, yes I know I'm being delutional but can't a guy dream once in awhile.

NO...you may not.

Arnie100 wrote:NO...you may not.

Fine!, No Punny Humor for you!

(At local Monument City bar...)

Chief Toombs: "At least we're not as BAD as these guys..."
37th Trooper: "Nope...YOU guys are WORSE!"

(Barfight ensues which results in a call-out for the GMP...)

GMP Officer: "Should we...?"
Nova: "Oh, no...we're actually doing everyone a favor...thinning out the herd, so to speak."
GMP Officer: "Popcorn, Ma'am?"
Nova: "Thank you...you'll go far with that attitude."

Ice Guard Trooper: "Why do I get the feeling we're missing out on some glorious barrroom fights defending our reputation?"
IGTrooper2: "Because you're suffering from icebound delusions of grandeur about our reputation being something to be defended."

taalismn wrote:Ice Guard Trooper: "Why do I get the feeling we're missing out on some glorious barrroom fights defending our reputation?"
IGTrooper2: "Because you're suffering from icebound delusions of grandeur about our reputation being something to be defended."

" It's always the *realists* that bring everyone else down. "

"If course we ARE still locked in a frozen hell...."

taalismn wrote:"If course we ARE still locked in a frozen hell...."

Which proves that *chilling* out in hell is not all it's cracked up to be.

(At the Monument City bar...)

Chief Toombs: "We showed those squids!"
Bartender: "Yes, you did...here's the bill for the damages."
Chief Toombs: "HOLY -- "

Arnie100 wrote:(At the Monument City bar...)

Chief Toombs: "We showed those squids!"
Bartender: "Yes, you did...here's the bill for the damages."
Chief Toombs: "HOLY -- "

" We also take gems and precouse metals in addtion to cash. "

Kargan3033 wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:(At the Monument City bar...)

Chief Toombs: "We showed those squids!"
Bartender: "Yes, you did...here's the bill for the damages."
Chief Toombs: "HOLY -- "

" We also take gems and precouse metals in addtion to cash. "

"Blood and healthy organs if we have to...."
"..tough bar..."

GMP Officer: "Should we...?"
Nova: "Nah...let's see him worm his way outta this..."

Bartender: "Or you could take part in a simple competition."

Later ... In a dingy back room ... sitting across from a micronized Maitai, Toombs is holding a a revolver to his own head.

Bartender: "DEDE MIO! DEDE MIO!!!"

Captain Morgan doesn't play Russian Roulllete, which is smart, considering his sidearm is a single shot flintlock pistol.
They play "Which Button Opens the Airlock?" in the Pathfinders.
They don't play Russian Roulette in Ice Guard because they replaced all the revolvers with heavy automatic weapons(six shots wasn't enough to stop a charging mutant polar bear).

taalismn wrote:Captain Morgan doesn't play Russian Roulllete, which is smart, considering his sidearm is a single shot flintlock pistol.
They play "Which Button Opens the Airlock?" in the Pathfinders.
They don't play Russian Roulette in Ice Guard because they replaced all the revolvers with heavy automatic weapons(six shots wasn't enough to stop a charging mutant polar bear).

I believe their version was "How many laps can you do around the base covered in Steak Sauce".

Ah yes, streaking at Ice Guard, Au Natural Ala Mode.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:(At the Monument City bar...)

Chief Toombs: "We showed those squids!"
Bartender: "Yes, you did...here's the bill for the damages."
Chief Toombs: "HOLY -- "

" We also take gems and precouse metals in addtion to cash. "

"Blood and healthy organs if we have to...."
"..tough bar..."

Yes a nice place to take the family for a weekend getaway.

Chong Foy head of the 37th securty:" If you think this panty waste bar is tough you should have seen the places my father use to take me to when I was a kid. "

"The place I grew up, you weren't even safe on the barroom FLOOR!"

"The barroom floor just made it easier for the beat-downs..."

Arnie100 wrote:"The barroom floor just made it easier for the beat-downs..."

"They kept the snakes on the floor..."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:"The barroom floor just made it easier for the beat-downs..."

"They kept the snakes on the floor..."

Chong Foy:" SNAKES!, MOTHER F***ING SNAKES!, oh please the bars my dad use to drag me to when I was a kid had rusty bear traps covered in s**** on the floors, damn lightweights. "

"You had beartraps? You spoiled rotten bastard! We had punji sticks! And they made us provide our own $#!+!!!"

taalismn wrote:"You had beartraps? You spoiled rotten bastard! We had punji sticks! And they made us provide our own $#!+!!!"

Oh really now, you got it easy the beartraps were the toilets.

taalismn wrote:Ah yes, streaking at Ice Guard, Au Natural Ala Mode.

Of course the resident Gurka starts naked covered in steak sauce, but always finishes with a new fur coat, cloak, rug, etc.

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Ah yes, streaking at Ice Guard, Au Natural Ala Mode.

Of course the resident Gurka starts naked covered in steak sauce, but always finishes with a new fur coat, cloak, rug, etc.

And makes quite a bit of money sell off the furs to the fashion indestrey.

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Ah yes, streaking at Ice Guard, Au Natural Ala Mode.

Of course the resident Gurka starts naked covered in steak sauce, but always finishes with a new fur coat, cloak, rug, etc.

Where he got the giant honking chainsaw so big he uses kukri knives as individual blade TEETH is anybody's guess, let alone where he HIDES the damn thing.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Ah yes, streaking at Ice Guard, Au Natural Ala Mode.

Of course the resident Gurka starts naked covered in steak sauce, but always finishes with a new fur coat, cloak, rug, etc.

Where he got the giant honking chainsaw so big he uses kukri knives as individual blade TEETH is anybody's guess, let alone where he HIDES the damn thing.

Well if anything it goes to show that he is a *cut* above the rest.

Most militaries worry about athlete's foot and trenchfoot.

In the 37th, it's GILLROT.

taalismn wrote:Most militaries worry about athlete's foot and trenchfoot.

In the 37th, it's GILLROT.

Which is why the 37th has such *Rotten* luck when it comes to deep sea salvage.

At least until a Chinese crewmember with fishfarming experience comes up with using mercurochrome...now they just have heavy metal poisoning to worry about...

taalismn wrote:At least until a Chinese crewmember with fishfarming experience comes up with using mercurochrome...now they just have heavy metal poisoning to worry about...

I guess his *taste* in music tends to be *heavy metal*

Capt. Morgan: "Umm, can anyone tell me why there's a Logan attached to the bow of my sub? I'm looking at you Lt. Anderson..."

"I was distracted, Sir...I thought I saw a mermaid..."

Arnie100 wrote:"I was distracted, Sir...I thought I saw a mermaid..."

Given the number of crashed Zent ships with malfuctioning fold drives it could be possable that an underwaer rift opened to a world with mermaids and who knows what else.

"But, Sir...!"
"Mermaids....are you looking for a Section 8?"

Arnie100 wrote:"But, Sir...!"
"Mermaids....are you looking for a Section 8?"

" Son the whole world is a Section 8 so this is nothing, now does one use *fly* fishing to catch mermaids or not? "

"Stun grenades...we want 'em LIVE, Sir!"
"Very GOOD! There's hope for you yet!"

SRoss wrote:Capt. Morgan: "Umm, can anyone tell me why there's a Logan attached to the bow of my sub? I'm looking at you Lt. Anderson..."

37th doing quick-surface exercises + TASC doing low-altitude flying = not always happy meetings.

"How was I supposed to know they could get the whole damn sub out of the water that high?!"
"I guess our camouflage kept you flyboys from, I dunno, SEEING THE BIG HONKING SUB SURFACING??!!"

"Ah we've finally got our new fresh water condenser."

Cut to, a tiny label on the bottom of the tank.

Property of Fukushima Daiichi Genshiryoku Hatsudensho.