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Chronicler wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Admiral, has it occurred to you that some of our most secure lines of communication...the submarine fiber optic cables...are within the operational realm of the 37th?"
"No. Oh shi-"

Techie: "At last, finally a good connection. Now for some good quality tele.... What the sh*t is this?"

ASC Navy Seal Equivalents: "Where the hell is our porn squiddy!?!"

"Well, at first we thought it was scrambled cable TV, but once we cracked it..."
"What is it?"
"Orders for the entire Pacific Fleet. Including this little item of interest."
"Hmmmm...a live ammo ASW exercise....say, isn't it in the sector we were just assigned to?"
"Yessir."
"Wonder why they didn't inform us of the exercise, then."
"Possibly because they were hunting and destroying an actual mobile target, sir, and they didn't want us to get spooked."
"Well, it's just common courtesy to let us know that we might cross paths with a target drone in a free fire exercise zone. We might be hit by accident!"
"...or by intention..."

taalismn wrote:"Well, at first we thought it was scrambled cable TV, but once we cracked it..."
"What is it?"
"Orders for the entire Pacific Fleet. Including this little item of interest."
"Hmmmm...a live ammo ASW exercise....say, isn't it in the sector we were just assigned to?"
"Yessir."
"Wonder why they didn't inform us of the exercise, then."
"Possibly because they were hunting and destroying an actual mobile target, sir, and they didn't want us to get spooked."
"Well, it's just common courtesy to let us know that we might cross paths with a target drone in a free fire exercise zone. We might be hit by accident!"
"...or by intention..."

I guess in the ASC inter-srevice bonds are fowned apon.

Kargan3033 wrote:[


I guess in the ASC inter-srevice bonds are fowned apon.

Like Ice Guard, the 37th has its share of Enemies in High Places willing to kill them.
Isn't it nice to have the attention of powerful people?

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[


I guess in the ASC inter-srevice bonds are fowned apon.

Like Ice Guard, the 37th has its share of Enemies in High Places willing to kill them.
Isn't it nice to have the attention of powerful people?

Yep it does *wonders* for one's self esteam to know that there are people in the world who *love* them for who they are.

"It's nice to be recognized that we're a threat and a hazard to SOMEBODY."

taalismn wrote:"It's nice to be recognized that we're a threat and a hazard to SOMEBODY."

Unlike the 47th marine division also knows as the Lazy Marines who are so lazy that no one considers them to be a threat to anyone or anything.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"It's nice to be recognized that we're a threat and a hazard to SOMEBODY."

Unlike the 47th marine division also knows as the Lazy Marines who are so lazy that no one considers them to be a threat to anyone or anything.

They did manage to catch some z's.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"It's nice to be recognized that we're a threat and a hazard to SOMEBODY."

Unlike the 47th marine division also knows as the Lazy Marines who are so lazy that no one considers them to be a threat to anyone or anything.

They did manage to catch some z's.

And work on their tans.

Their nickname amongst other units is 'the Speedbumps'.

Freddy Kruger: "Ha ha ha!!!"



Freddy Kruger: "Oh Crap..."

SRoss wrote:Freddy Kruger: "Ha ha ha!!!"

#CLICK!#

Freddy Kruger: "Oh Crap..."

"We may be lazy, but we're still MARINES."
"The pillows just cushion the recoil of the heavy grenade launchers, Allows us to aim more accurately. Put more of 'em on target."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Freddy Kruger: "Ha ha ha!!!"

#CLICK!#

Freddy Kruger: "Oh Crap..."

"We may be lazy, but we're still MARINES."
"The pillows just cushion the recoil of the heavy grenade launchers, Allows us to aim more accurately. Put more of 'em on target."

Freddy: "Nice dark creepy submarine...no where to hide, hohohoho!"
*CLICK* "Yeah, nice when we don't have to beat the bushes to find you."
Freddy:"..."
"You really think you scare US? Personally, I've had scarier things for breakfast."
"I've had to share a bottle with the Captain. What with what he drinks, the hallucinations I've had..."
"I'm pretty sure the GMP was experimenting with psychotropics on me before I got transfered here."
"My ex-wife. The less said, the better."
Freddy: "Now see h-"
#BLAMBLAMBLAMCRUNCHBZZZARRPPSSSSSSSSAAAHHHHWWWWWHHHHAAAWHHAAWHHHAAAAAA#

"Sir, we just got a new volunteer for posting to IceGuard. His name is Fred? Fred Kruger..."

Yeoman: "Sir I'd like to file a complaint about the new Chief Medical Officer."

Captain Morgan: "Dr. Whetley? What's wrong with him?"

Yeoman: "He's ordered all the female staff to undergo prostate exams..."

SRoss wrote:"Sir, we just got a new volunteer for posting to IceGuard. His name is Fred? Fred Kruger..."

Mighta worked if he hadn't shared a layover with a crate marked 'Arctic Expedition' coming the OTHER way....
Nothing more was heard of Mister Kruger after that day...

SRoss wrote:Yeoman: "Sir I'd like to file a complaint about the new Chief Medical Officer."

Captain Morgan: "Dr. Whetley? What's wrong with him?"

Yeoman: "He's ordered all the female staff to undergo prostate exams..."

Captain Morgan: " Well Whetlety told he had tried his *hand* at gynocolagy before he jointed the 37th. "

Kargan3033 wrote:
Captain Morgan: " Well Whetlety told he had tried his *hand* at gynocolagy before he jointed the 37th. "

1st LT. Jones: "This is why we regularly flush the johns with 'Squid b' Gone'."

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:
Captain Morgan: " Well Whetlety told he had tried his *hand* at gynocolagy before he jointed the 37th. "

1st LT. Jones: "This is why we regularly flush the johns with 'Squid b' Gone'."

Espcialy after the *unfortuent incdent* with an unamed 37th red shirt in the john and a certen squid headed elder god.

Hence the phobia of tentacles....

taalismn wrote:Hence the phobia of tentacles....

Dispite the fact that glarlic fired tentacles are considered a food staple.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Hence the phobia of tentacles....

Dispite the fact that glarlic fired tentacles are considered a food staple.

"We tell him it's 'sea-sausage'."

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Hence the phobia of tentacles....

Dispite the fact that glarlic fired tentacles are considered a food staple.

"We tell him it's 'sea-sausage'."

Ahh so it's all a matter of presentaion, ok got it.

Delusion and misdirection, it's how humans survive a lot of unpleasant truths.

taalismn wrote:Delusion and misdirection, it's how humans survive a lot of unpleasant truths.

That and a vast helping of non standard phramalogical suplements.

"For instance, we're taking a pleasant drive in the country!"
"...just don't decide you wanna roll down the windows, because the breeze down here at 12,000 ft can be pretty hellacious..."

taalismn wrote:"For instance, we're taking a pleasant drive in the country!"
"...just don't decide you wanna roll down the windows, because the breeze down here at 12,000 ft can be pretty hellacious..."

" Trust me this will be better then going to Sea World. "

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"For instance, we're taking a pleasant drive in the country!"
"...just don't decide you wanna roll down the windows, because the breeze down here at 12,000 ft can be pretty hellacious..."

" Trust me this will be better then going to Sea World. "

"Only at SeaWorld the exhibits don't try to eat the visitors...they only try to eat staff members."

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"For instance, we're taking a pleasant drive in the country!"
"...just don't decide you wanna roll down the windows, because the breeze down here at 12,000 ft can be pretty hellacious..."

" Trust me this will be better then going to Sea World. "

"Only at SeaWorld the exhibits don't try to eat the visitors...they only try to eat staff members."

Which is why they only have a one star rating in Rand's gudie to summer vacation spots.

"And just WHY are we siphoning off oil from deep water wellheads?"
"Securing vital fuel supplies."
"The ship runs on nuclear fusion. Our smaller subs run on electric. Our mecha run on either fusion or protoculture. We're not a diesel. We don't need petroleum!"
"Okay...I'm doing it to #### off the oil corporations who refused to give me back my job when I enlisted during the last Malcontent crisis, and mustered out afterwards. "
"So, what are we doing with what we're collecting?"
"Hoarding sounds about right. Then later we can go into business for ourselves. 'Port Royal Petroleum' sounds like a good name, don't you think?"

VERY Expensive Mercenary Commander: "Putting tracking nanites in the oil appears to have paid off. Now our ship is invisible to their sonar, and the Oil Sheiks are footing the bill, so drop as many Reflex Depth Charges as you feel like."

Only to discover they've been tricked into bombing the companies' own underwater oil pipelines.....
UEG EPA goes after the companies for environmental damages.

'Port Royal' would be appropriate, given Port Royal's role as a pirate haven, and that it (partially) sank under the sea thanks to an earthquake.

taalismn wrote:Only to discover they've been tricked into bombing the companies' own underwater oil pipelines.....
UEG EPA goes after the companies for environmental damages.

'Port Royal' would be appropriate, given Port Royal's role as a pirate haven, and that it (partially) sank under the sea thanks to an earthquake.

Sweet and I can see the reminets of Greenpeace having a major s*** fit over it all.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Only to discover they've been tricked into bombing the companies' own underwater oil pipelines.....
UEG EPA goes after the companies for environmental damages.

'Port Royal' would be appropriate, given Port Royal's role as a pirate haven, and that it (partially) sank under the sea thanks to an earthquake.

Sweet and I can see the reminets of Greenpeace having a major s*** fit over it all.

Especially if Greenpeace has to buy fuel from them(because the alternatives are nuclear power or deal with the Invid for protoculture).

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Only to discover they've been tricked into bombing the companies' own underwater oil pipelines.....
UEG EPA goes after the companies for environmental damages.

'Port Royal' would be appropriate, given Port Royal's role as a pirate haven, and that it (partially) sank under the sea thanks to an earthquake.

Sweet and I can see the reminets of Greenpeace having a major s*** fit over it all.

Especially if Greenpeace has to buy fuel from them(because the alternatives are nuclear power or deal with the Invid for protoculture).

If I were the Deep Ones I'd worry more about the Sea Shepherds. They tend to be more militant.

Regess: "Of course Mr. Watson, I'd be happy to give you all the Protoculture cells you need, just name a ship after me."

SRoss wrote:If I were the Deep Ones I'd worry more about the Sea Shepherds. They tend to be more militant.

Regess: "Of course Mr. Watson, I'd be happy to give you all the Protoculture cells you need, just name a ship after me."

Oh ho! a new player joins the game of comedic insanity.

Then the Deep Ones add to their roster the failed genetic experiments to produce deep water colonists or supersoldiers.
"Okay, I get it...the pre-natal genetic manipulations done to me when I was an embryo caused by legs to not develop, and instead I've got this TAIL...oh, and GILLS. Doesn't automatically make me a mermaid."
"...that's what it sez on your personal record."
"The scientists were smegging overly-romantic idiots."

taalismn wrote:Then the Deep Ones add to their roster the failed genetic experiments to produce deep water colonists or supersoldiers.
"Okay, I get it...the pre-natal genetic manipulations done to me when I was an embryo caused by legs to not develop, and instead I've got this TAIL...oh, and GILLS. Doesn't automatically make me a mermaid."
"...that's what it sez on your personal record."
"The scientists were smegging overly-romantic idiots."

Depends if if the person in question is male or female, in the case of the male mutie he's a mer-man/triton in the case of the female mutie..well if the boot fits, just don't ask her to to wear a sea-shell bikini.

The 37th mess hall

Petra:" Today's lunch is shark fin soup Sweetheart.

Ariel:"*looks at the bowl of soup. " Uncle Bob!? "

"I hear 'Under the Sea' played one more time, I'm going to broadcast your agonized screams over the intercom, followed by the sound of the intercom microphone being pulled through your gastrointestinal tract from your backside."

Two new members of the Deep Ones

Privet Ariel Kelper

Privet Kelper is the result of the ASC's failed attempt at creating genetically augmented deep sea super soldiers, out of the thirty six subjects Ariel was their only *success*with success being a relative term.

She has the upper body of a human women and a fish's tail below the waist and is flat chested to cut down on water resistence something is not pleased with, on dry land she is pretty much helpless but in the water there are very few living creatures that can keep up with her.

Ariel has the undeserved reputation of being a *Man Eater* and a very well earned reputation of being a *Pool Shark*

Fortunately she has both lungs and gills allowing to breath air and breath underwater, however her skin is a dark green with a light hint of fish scales and her hair is jet black and along with her tail she does not have much in the way of romantic prospects from either men or women.

However as a strange side effect of her altered state Ariel has taken a very motherly interest in Jake Greenwell the 37th's mascot/gopher/guppy.

Privet Jake Greenwell

Jake was an orphan who's parents died when their privet yacht was sunk jurring a freak storm, Jake managed to reach the shore of an uncharted island and dispite his young age he manged to survive for three month on his own before the 37th stopped off at the island for a needed vacation and ran across Jake who was trying to steal some of their food.

When he was questioned about why he was alone on the island Captian Morgan took Jake with him and the 37th in order to turn him over to any surviving family members.

However due to an unforeseen occurrence that that sent the 37th into a pocket dimension when the fold drive of a downed Zentraedi scout ship that went critical when the 37th came to close to it the 37th found themselves in a strange undersea pocket dimension for three months and many strange events that would sorely test the 37th's already frayed sanity.

Juring that time Jake became an indispensable part of the 37th who despite the loss of his parents and long isolation maintained a positive, upbeat and helpful attitude that helped to pull the 37th through the hardships of their entrapment in the undersea pocket dimension.

After reutrning to Earth Captain Morgan bowed not only to the pressure of Jake but the rest of the 37th who threaten to keel haul him if he returned Jake to any of his remaining family and made him a member of the Deep Ones.

Also Jake is the only one who can call Ariel a mermaid to her face and not have to spend hours picking up his teeth from the deck plates as he adopted her as his new mother.

"Resident guppy'?

"We don't flush the goldfish around here."
"Burial at sea, full honors."
"And if the pet clam dies?"
"Chowder."

taalismn wrote:"Resident guppy'?

"We don't flush the goldfish around here."
"Burial at sea, full honors."
"And if the pet clam dies?"
"Chowder."

Well the 37th's flag mascot is a guppy, don't ask, let's just say that the Captain just got out of officers boot camp and had one of to many bottles of rum as he was going about putting together the 37th.

They HAD a giant clam called Igor, until they discovered it had a prehensile tongue of astonishing length, and an appetite for fresh meat(rather shocking in a filter-feeder). After breaking three jacks to prevent a teammate from being shell-chomped in half and having to treat same for nearly being gummed to death, the crew consigned Igor to be the guest of hors-d'œuvre at a clam bake.

Master Chief Link

The Master Chief is the result of an early attempt by the UEDF to create as Senator Moran put it, "an Ultra Marine". Out of 350 subjects from various Military and Maximum Security Prisons. Link we the only, using a very broad definition of the term, success, and he immediately went AWOL.

After many, many years terrorizing women on beaches and riversides in the remotest parts of the world, he was caught. He had tried to carry off a half-dozen screaming co-eds while fighting off the GMP, CDU and a very determined Lifeguard.

The GMP, realizing that they didn't have the capability to hold him, in stead sent Link to the 37[sup]th[/sup]. Since arriving, he still like to show off for the ladies, who've seen it all before.

The Master Chief is 6' tall, vary broad, green and scaly, with two legs and a tail. On land he walks stooped like an ape, but in the water he's almost as fast as Ariel. Moreover, he has no problems swimming through swampy water and sewage.

"Missing Link" jokes are, by Captain's order, forbidden.
As are 'spawning' jokes.

New Crewmember:
Ensign Murgatroyd Redrum
British-born 'limey' with a history of seafaring in his blood, according to his own confession. 'Murg' is as stalwart old salt in a young body and seeks to do his job, if not exceptionally, at least satisfactorily, to the point he blends into the bulkheads, Captain Morgan likes him because he has 'rum' in his name.
The truth is, Murg's a plant by an organized crime cartel out to sink the 37th, literally. A hardcore Euro-assassin-wannabe, Redrum's been charged with infiltrating the 37th and sabotaging them, or at least make them easier to pin down, which he has tried to do repeatedly, but which he has been failing at. Part of the reason is that he tries to be so cleverly subtle about it...like bowling in the ship's main passageway to ruin their 'run silent' operations....that his plans are easily derailed. Often his 'foolproof' plans result in spectacular reversals of fortune for his employers, to the point that some of them are beginning to wonder if Redrum's been compromised, or he's actively turned on them. Redrum is unaware of this suspicion on the part of his employers, and is as blissfully unaware of the machinations being planned for him, as his colleagues are unaware that good old 'Murgy' is really plotting their collective demises.

taalismn wrote:New Crewmember:
Ensign Murgatroyd Redrum
British-born 'limey' with a history of seafaring in his blood, according to his own confession. 'Murg' is as stalwart old salt in a young body and seeks to do his job, if not exceptionally, at least satisfactorily, to the point he blends into the bulkheads, Captain Morgan likes him because he has 'rum' in his name.
The truth is, Murg's a plant by an organized crime cartel out to sink the 37th, literally. A hardcore Euro-assassin-wannabe, Redrum's been charged with infiltrating the 37th and sabotaging them, or at least make them easier to pin down, which he has tried to do repeatedly, but which he has been failing at. Part of the reason is that he tries to be so cleverly subtle about it...like bowling in the ship's main passageway to ruin their 'run silent' operations....that his plans are easily derailed. Often his 'foolproof' plans result in spectacular reversals of fortune for his employers, to the point that some of them are beginning to wonder if Redrum's been compromised, or he's actively turned on them. Redrum is unaware of this suspicion on the part of his employers, and is as blissfully unaware of the machinations being planned for him, as his colleagues are unaware that good old 'Murgy' is really plotting their collective demises.

Deffently get's my stamp of aproval.

Of course, even when Murgy arranges an ambush for the 37th on the surface, he's confused when the cartel assassins try to kill HIM first and to the exception of anybody else. He just figures he's caught the clumsy overkill.

Officers Lounge, the 37th's base...

Redrum: "My task is done. Turn the other way sir."

Morgan: "What?"

Redrum: "I'm the wind sir, no one sees me leave. It's my thing."

Morgan: "Ok." (Turns his back to Redrum)

Sounds of running... Leap THUD!!! CRACK!!!

Jones: "Um, sir, it appears that the wind has broken his arm, and cracked the observation port.