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This was inspired by reading the 1d4chan write-up for Rifts under ‘Grimdark’, in which one of the criticisms was that ‘each new Rifts book makes the previous books’ weapons look like kitten launchers’.

Challenge accepted.

TW (Shadow) Kitten Launcher

“GGGAAAHHH!!!! IT’SGOTMYFACE!!!!”

This TechnoWizardry weapon looks like a grenade launcher done in black and adorned with signs of darkness. What it really is is a summoning device to call a creature known as a Shadow Kitten, a normally innocuous little critter resembling a happy ball of hairy soot that becomes, when provoked, more akin to a ShadowBeast in savagery. The Kitten Launcher summons up one of these dark fuzzballs, then promptly launches the surprised critter at a target, obviously provoking it. The creature will instinctively attack whatever it lands on, clawing and biting until satisfied that its tormentor is destroyed, until itself is destroyed, or until the summoning magic runs out and allows it to return home. However, there’s a 25% chance that the summoned Shadow Kitten will NOT automatically return home, but will stick around awhile to satisfy its anger, hunger, or curiosity.
Weight: 6 lbs
MDC: 30
Range: 500 ft
Damage: By ShadowKitten
The ShadowKitten remains active (in combat) for up to 10 minutes.
Rate of Fire: Single shot, ECHH
Payload: 45 PPE to fire
The Launcher accepts PPE clips.
Cost: 360,000 credits
Note: It IS possible to use this device to launch actual kittens, but they only go 250 ft, do NO damage, and tend not to survive the experience. Though they COULD be used to successfully distract DogBoys, wolves, and other predators.


New Spell:
Summon Shadow Kitten (Invocation)(6th Level)
Level: 6
Type: Invocation
Range: Immediate
Duration: 3 hours per level of experience if the critter isn’t provoked; two minutes per level of experience if agitated into combat.
Saving Throw: None
PPE Cost: 70
Effects
This spell summons a creature commonly called a ‘Shadow Kitten’ from the Shadow Realms. Normally the critter resembles a slightly oblong mass of jet black fur roughly the size of a kitten, and is quite docile when summoned, and can be picked up and petted without problem, but if abused, poked hard, or otherwise provoked, it becomes an animate bowling ball of slashing claws and teeth. Shadow Kittens CAN be made into Familiars(they’re known as ‘Shadow Beast Lites’), anchoring them to the Material Plane, but they tend to be catlike in their laziness and insubordination.
Even if and when the spell elapses, there’s a 25% chance that the ShadowKitten might stick around(typically wanders off on its own, ignoring the summoner) to investigate anything that catches its fancy or cause trouble.
Alignments: (Animal) Effectively anarchist
Lifespan: Unknown
Size: Roughly 6-8 inches long and 1 lb in weight
Gender: Unknown

Physical Attributes:
IQ: (animal intelligence) 7
ME: 12
MA: 16
PS: 23(considered Supernatural)
PP: 23
PE: 17
PB: 5
SPD: 36
(PPE): 2d6
MDC: 2d6+6 (2d6 SDC and 2d6 Hit Points in non-MDC realms)
Horror Factor: 12 when in berserker mode
Natural Abilities:
-Prowl 80%
-See in total darkness
-Impervious to cold, heat, disease, drugs, and poison
-Regenerates 1d6 MD per melee round.
-Track 65%
-Leap up to 8 ft up/across
Psionics: None
Magic:
-Shadowmeld(no PPE cost)
Combat:
Attacks per melee (Berserker mode; the ShadowKitten only fights in Berserker mode, all or nothing): 4
Initiative: +2
Strike: +2
Save Versus Horror Factor: +8
Damage:
Bite(Berserker mode) 1d6(MD)
Claw(Berserker mode) 2d6 (MD)
Quills(Berserker mode) 4d6 (MD) on a body block/ram. Anybody attempting to grab it takes 1d6 damage(SDC or MDC depending on their P.S. class) from the quills.

Note: Reduce ALL stats(MDC/SDC. Spd, PS, APMs, damage, etc.) by HALF in daylight.

Genius I am sure that the Rifts equivalent of the ASPCA will face-murder any TW that makes one of these things, and will do worse to anyone using it.

-STS

slade the sniper wrote:Genius I am sure that the Rifts equivalent of the ASPCA will face-murder any TW that makes one of these things, and will do worse to anyone using it.

-STS

nah, the key is to just use it *on* the ASPCA. the less cute the animal, the less likely they are to care, and there's a whole lot of un-cuteness to an angry murderball that happens to be vaguely shaped like a kitten (especially when it decides to go for your eyes).

Little Snuzzles wrote:ROFL!

Special defence: Aura of Cuteness

If the Shadow Kitten finds itself at 10 MD or below, it can radiate a Aura of Cuteness, becoming so snuzzly soft and cute (with big brown eyes) that all oponents must save vs. a CF of 18. Those who fail their save lose initiative and instantly cease all attacks, being overcome with a desire to rub its belly, scritch its head, and make soft cooing noises for 1d4 rounds. The Shadow Kitten may regenerate 1d6 MD per round while being petted in this manner. Further, those affected will deliberately shield it from other attackers, cradling it in their arms, and making comments like, "How could you hurt this poor widdle kitty??!" and "You not hurt the little snookems fuzzy babyhead!"

Oh, that's frosting on the humiliation cake!
"But...but...but...it bit my nose off! You saw it!!!!"
"Poor thing was just scared is all!"
"It chased me into the APC!!! It chewed through a door to get at me!"
"It was just confused!"
"It went for my groin!"
"You exaggerate."

I am soooooo going to find a way to use this thing!

-STS

taalismn that is great

taalismn wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:ROFL!

Special defence: Aura of Cuteness

If the Shadow Kitten finds itself at 10 MD or below, it can radiate a Aura of Cuteness, becoming so snuzzly soft and cute (with big brown eyes) that all oponents must save vs. a CF of 18. Those who fail their save lose initiative and instantly cease all attacks, being overcome with a desire to rub its belly, scritch its head, and make soft cooing noises for 1d4 rounds. The Shadow Kitten may regenerate 1d6 MD per round while being petted in this manner. Further, those affected will deliberately shield it from other attackers, cradling it in their arms, and making comments like, "How could you hurt this poor widdle kitty??!" and "You not hurt the little snookems fuzzy babyhead!"

Oh, that's frosting on the humiliation cake!
"But...but...but...it bit my nose off! You saw it!!!!"
"Poor thing was just scared is all!"
"It chased me into the APC!!! It chewed through a door to get at me!"
"It was just confused!"
"It went for my groin!"
"You exaggerate."

"That'll teach ya hoo-ligans ta STAY OFF'A MAH LAWN!"

"Damn it, what did I TELL you?! 'If it's cute and fuzzy and on Rifts Earth...'"
"Kill it."
"Right!"

Snake Eyes wrote::lol: taalismn that is great

Well, I couldn't find an inexpensive spell that would turn a harmless animal into a monster(thus allowing me to use real kittens), so Summoning magic seemed my next best option.

taalismn wrote:This was inspired by reading the 1d4chan write-up for Rifts under ‘Grimdark’, in which one of the criticisms was that ‘each new Rifts book makes the previous books’ weapons look like kitten launchers’.

Challenge accepted.

TW (Shadow) Kitten Launcher

“GGGAAAHHH!!!! IT’SGOTMYFACE!!!!”

This TechnoWizardry weapon looks like a grenade launcher done in black and adorned with signs of darkness.

Claymore anti-personal design mines. "IT or they just come out of the dark".

glitterboy2098 wrote:http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee138/lallend/PostPics/Dobie-O-Matic.jpg

And already the counter-weapon appears!

glitterboy2098 wrote:http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee138/lallend/PostPics/Dobie-O-Matic.jpg

Now Drewkitty's mentioned what could be worse than a (Shadow) Kitten Launcher:
A rapid-fire Kitten Launcher.
With enough PPE to fuel it, all those rampaging balls of shadow mayhem add up to serious annoyance in the target zone.

taalismn wrote:Now Drewkitty's mentioned what could be worse than a (Shadow) Kitten Launcher:
A rapid-fire Kitten Launcher.
With enough PPE to fuel it, all those rampaging balls of shadow mayhem add up to serious annoyance in the target zone.

I did suggest that there would be two setting "Ball of Death"(mad) and "Cute & Adorible"(petmepetmepetmecute). So you are set for when the CS raids come knocking (down the door) and for when your friends drop by to visit.

They're like tribbles, with hair-trigger berserker buttons.

So you are working on the counter to the cat thrower? Any chance to get a lobber of squeaky toys that is a TW device?

taalismn wrote:"Damn it, what did I TELL you?! 'If it's cute and fuzzy and on Rifts Earth...'"
"Kill it."
"Right!"

"But my BattleArmour will stop it? Right??"
"If you Kill it, before one of those things get's close, Maybe."
"So just Kill it when sighted."
"Right. If you have time."

"Sir, Willie find a basket with a sign that says 'Free Kittens'. Can we open it?"
"NO!!! You fools, IT may be Trapped... "
Last words found on Leader's BattleArmour.

Aramanthus wrote:So you are working on the counter to the cat thrower? Any chance to get a lobber of squeaky toys that is a TW device?

No, but I am working on an image of the SKT('Skitty Kitty').
As for countermeasures to it? Russian troika rule: "When chased by wolves, the smallest member of your party may be thrown out of the sleigh to distract them."

taalismn wrote:

Aramanthus wrote:So you are working on the counter to the cat thrower? Any chance to get a lobber of squeaky toys that is a TW device?

No, but I am working on an image of the SKT('Skitty Kitty').
As for countermeasures to it? Russian troika rule: "When chased by wolves, the smallest member of your party may be thrown out of the sleigh to distract them."

So no spells that create... BLasts of yarn, Floating Feather blades, BattleFlys or their like?

An Early version of the Kitten Launcher

abtex wrote:An Early version of the Kitten Launcher

Sure, haven't you heard of CATapults?

glitterboy2098 wrote:http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee138/lallend/PostPics/Dobie-O-Matic.jpg

If I can find a spell for Summoning Hellhounds....

ferrets would be way better.

or Badgers!

Shorty Lickens wrote:ferrets would be way better.

or Badgers!

HONEYbadgers.

I'm serious. Honeybadgers are the African equivalent of wolverines, only MUCH meaner and smarter...

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee138/lallend/PostPics/Dobie-O-Matic.jpg

If I can find a spell for Summoning Hellhounds....

If you find a spell for Calling Rats. You can do a submachine that goes Rat-A-Rat-tat-tat

abtex wrote:

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee138/lallend/PostPics/Dobie-O-Matic.jpg

If I can find a spell for Summoning Hellhounds....

If you find a spell for Calling Rats. You can do a submachine that goes Rat-A-Rat-tat-tat

I wonder if I could modify them to carry a Disease Curse....just to make grimdark of that horrible pun(although admittedly I already have a counter to the Rattat Gun with my CATapult).

Name needs to be changed from "Rattat Gun" to RatAtat Gun, after a moment of thought.
Maybe.

abtex wrote:Name needs to be changed from "Rattat Gun" to RatAtat Gun, after a moment of thought.
Maybe.

Try not to think TOO hard about it.
That way lies madness.

taalismn wrote:

Snake Eyes wrote::lol: taalismn that is great

Well, I couldn't find an inexpensive spell that would turn a harmless animal into a monster(thus allowing me to use real kittens), so Summoning magic seemed my next best option.

I can think of a few.

The easiest way would be to have the device cast sorcerous fury (70) on the kitten as it shoots it at the target.

Next we have the device placing a nasty combat spell chain on the cat, supernatural strength (10), Magic Adeline rush (45), and Invulnerability (25).

Third option is to have device cast giant (80) on kitten.

Forth option the target hit by the kitten gets reduce self(20)/ or metamorphosis into a mouse on them turning them into the kittens new chew toy.

So there are three ways to turn a kitten into a murder death machine

Blue_Lion wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Snake Eyes wrote::lol: taalismn that is great

Well, I couldn't find an inexpensive spell that would turn a harmless animal into a monster(thus allowing me to use real kittens), so Summoning magic seemed my next best option.

I can think of a few.

The easiest way would be to have the device cast sorcerous fury (70) on the kitten as it shoots it at the target.

Next we have the device placing a nasty combat spell chain on the cat, supernatural strength (10), Magic Adeline rush (45), and Invulnerability (25).

Third option is to have device cast giant (80) on kitten.

Forth option the target hit by the kitten gets reduce self(20)/ or metamorphosis into a mouse on them turning them into the kittens new chew toy.

So there are three ways to turn a kitten into a murder death machine

Yep, I kinda understated it when I said some members of these forums live to weaponize just about ANYTHING.

taalismn wrote:

Blue_Lion wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Snake Eyes wrote::lol: taalismn that is great

Well, I couldn't find an inexpensive spell that would turn a harmless animal into a monster(thus allowing me to use real kittens), so Summoning magic seemed my next best option.

I can think of a few.

The easiest way would be to have the device cast sorcerous fury (70) on the kitten as it shoots it at the target.

Next we have the device placing a nasty combat spell chain on the cat, supernatural strength (10), Magic Adeline rush (45), and Invulnerability (25).

Third option is to have device cast giant (80) on kitten.

Forth option the target hit by the kitten gets reduce self(20)/ or metamorphosis into a mouse on them turning them into the kittens new chew toy.

So there are three ways to turn a kitten into a murder death machine

Yep, I kinda understated it when I said some members of these forums live to weaponize just about ANYTHING.

Well If I have a TW factory I made that turn a kids Teddy bear into a war machine of course I could do the same to kitten.

Blue_Lion wrote:[
Well If I have a TW factory I made that turn a kids Teddy bear into a war machine of course I could do the same to kitten.

Well, now we know who's most likely manufacturing kitten launchers(and thumbing their nose at the ASPCA in the process).

taalismn wrote:

Blue_Lion wrote:[
Well If I have a TW factory I made that turn a kids Teddy bear into a war machine of course I could do the same to kitten.

Well, now we know who's most likely manufacturing kitten launchers(and thumbing their nose at the ASPCA in the process).

Nope not it my teddy bear guardian is was made to protect kids, torture or tormenting innocent creatures for sadistic use is not what I do. There is a big difference between having the skill to do something and being willing to do it.

Blue_Lion wrote:Nope not it my teddy bear guardian is was made to protect kids, torture or tormenting innocent creatures for sadistic use is not what I do. There is a big difference between having the skill to do something and being willing to do it.

Okay, got misled by 'war machine' rather than 'valiant robotic guardian'.
Did the same with the Shemarrian Vorpal Bunny Slippers.

taalismn wrote:

Blue_Lion wrote:Nope not it my teddy bear guardian is was made to protect kids, torture or tormenting innocent creatures for sadistic use is not what I do. There is a big difference between having the skill to do something and being willing to do it.

Okay, got misled by 'war machine' rather than 'valiant robotic guardian'.
Did the same with the Shemarrian Vorpal Bunny Slippers.

Not all wars machines are about mass killing. War is not only about attacking the enemy but protecting friendlies.

Blue_Lion wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Blue_Lion wrote:Nope not it my teddy bear guardian is was made to protect kids, torture or tormenting innocent creatures for sadistic use is not what I do. There is a big difference between having the skill to do something and being willing to do it.

Okay, got misled by 'war machine' rather than 'valiant robotic guardian'.
Did the same with the Shemarrian Vorpal Bunny Slippers.

Not all wars machines are about mass killing. War is not only about attacking the enemy but protecting friendlies.

Well, Tony Stark took exception to the 'War Machine' ...at least until it took the two of them to hold off several hundred HAMMER drones.

Misfire with a Kitten Launcher?

abtex wrote:Misfire with a Kitten Launcher?

Looks more like a Kitten of Light on 'dimmer' mode.