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taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Over at the EBSIS Base...

Grundgy: "Piissssst! Hey comrades, wanna buy some bath lotion?"

Yeah, these are people who would drink Sterno....

EBSIS Trooper: "It's better then the stuff you call coffee. Just add Vodka to sweeten it."

"You're not supposed to drink it when it's on FIRE."
"....how else is it supposed to warm us inside?"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Over at the EBSIS Base...

Grundgy: "Piissssst! Hey comrades, wanna buy some bath lotion?"

Yeah, these are people who would drink Sterno....

EBSIS Trooper: "It's better then the stuff you call coffee. Just add Vodka to sweeten it."

IceGuard Trooper: "That stuff? We don't drink that. We relabel it as rum and trade it to the Deep Ones for the vodka they're stealing from your supply ships."

EBSIS Trooper: "They're not stealing, we're trading with them for your porn stash."
Ice Guard Trooper: "MY PORN!"

Arnie100 wrote:EBSIS Trooper: "They're not stealing, we're trading with them for your porn stash."
Ice Guard Trooper: "MY PORN!"

Major Jones: "Good pathos there out on the ice whining about your stolen porn."
IceGuard Trooper: "Thanks, sir! Minmei's seminars* in the mess hall on drama and amateur theater really helped out. Did it work, though?"
Jones: "They were so distracted gloating over your psychological suffering, they never noticed us making off with half their motorpool's fuel, spare parts, and ammunition."
IGT: "Good to know, sir. But couldn't we have gotten ALL of it?"
Jones: "...We need them to survive until the next resupply, when we'll get more stuff."


*Minmei's seminars, during her periodic stays at Ice Guard, on acting and her advice to the amateur thespian group on-base at Ice Guard were actually surprisingly well-attended and intelligible, since she wasn't being crowded or pressured by the media down in the Warm. Her rendition of 'Lady MacBeth' remains one of her finest "albeit unseen outside Ice Guard) acting roles, given that it was performed with minimal facilities and special effects, and performed live in front of the base audience.

Ice Guard Trooper: "Uhm; Sir...YOUR porn stash really IS missing! "
Major Jones: "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:Ice Guard Trooper: "Uhm; Sir...YOUR porn stash really IS missing! "
Major Jones: "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Minmei: "Alex, have I taught you NOTHING in the years I've been coming here? That was a simply awful cry of anguish...it's like a bad James T. Kirk imitation. Plus you're forgetting to properly breath. And you're smirking, like you KNOW Eddie here is trolling you."
Major Jones: "Sorry, but that WAS a throwaway line he fed me."
Minmei: "Unless you're trying for comedy, treat EVERY lead-in line as serious. Like, say; "HQ just called, and they're giving you back your old position at the Robotech Academy talking to junketing politicians-"
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Minmei: "Much, much better."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Ice Guard Trooper: "Uhm; Sir...YOUR porn stash really IS missing! "
Major Jones: "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Minmei: "Alex, have I taught you NOTHING in the years I've been coming here? That was a simply awful cry of anguish...it's like a bad James T. Kirk imitation. Plus you're forgetting to properly breath. And you're smirking, like you KNOW Eddie here is trolling you."
Major Jones: "Sorry, but that WAS a throwaway line he fed me."
Minmei: "Unless you're trying for comedy, treat EVERY lead-in line as serious. Like, say; "HQ just called, and they're giving you back your old position at the Robotech Academy talking to junketing politicians-"
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Minmei: "Much, much better."

Ice Guard Trooper: "Excuse me; Sir...but you have new orders..."
Major Jones: "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Ice Guard Trooper: "Sir; these have been authenticated..."
Major Jones: "I hate you."

Arnie100 wrote:[

Ice Guard Trooper: "Excuse me; Sir...but you have new orders..."
Major Jones: "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Ice Guard Trooper: "Sir; these have been authenticated..."
Major Jones: "I hate you."

"We know that, sir, but perhaps you can interest some of those politicians in coming up here?"
Jones: "You do know that they're unlikely to even MENTION us back down in the Warm, let alone do anything about our grievences-"
"Oh, we know THAT, sir, but it's just that the norca are getting kind of aggressive unless they're fed regular-like."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

Ice Guard Trooper: "Excuse me; Sir...but you have new orders..."
Major Jones: "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Ice Guard Trooper: "Sir; these have been authenticated..."
Major Jones: "I hate you."

"We know that, sir, but perhaps you can interest some of those politicians in coming up here?"
Jones: "You do know that they're unlikely to even MENTION us back down in the Warm, let alone do anything about our grievences-"
"Oh, we know THAT, sir, but it's just that the norca are getting kind of aggressive unless they're fed regular-like."

E.B.S.I.S. Trooper: "Sir! We've acquired the IceGuard's porn files. But it's all man on man action with naked Putin and Trump going at it like animals."

E.B.I.S.I.S. Commander: "NNNNYYYYEEEETTTT!!!!"

"Could've been Bill and Hillary's tapes..."
"That's just as BAD."

The fact that Real World political jokes...and lame-bad ones at that...are appearing here, is proof positive that the year 2016 sucked.

Have you no pride?

EBSIS Trooper #1: "What kind of stuff do they watch over there?!"
EBSIS Trooper #2: "Words...can't...describe..."

”Okay, yes, for the umpteenth time, I’m asking you for a stellar fix....are we going to be celebrating a TERRESTRIAL New Year’s this time around, or are we looking at a PLITONIAN year where we have to wait ten thousand years or so before we can properly declare it a New Year?...I can’t believe this is actually a problem....”

taalismn wrote:”Okay, yes, for the umpteenth time, I’m asking you for a stellar fix....are we going to be celebrating a TERRESTRIAL New Year’s this time around, or are we looking at a PLITONIAN year where we have to wait ten thousand years or so before we can properly declare it a New Year?...I can’t believe this is actually a problem....”

"I just wanna get drunk...hic...oh, wait! Already there!"

Arnie100 wrote:EBSIS Trooper #1: "What kind of stuff do they watch over there?!"
EBSIS Trooper #2: "Words...can't...describe..."

"Just exactly WHAT are we looking at here?"
"I have NO idea. I've been looking at these patterns for hours and I can't make anything of them! I'd be more turned on looking at a test pattern!"
"You're a communication officer. Of COURSE you'd get turned on by a test pattern."
"We get jaded real fast."

Jones: "So, who's doing the fireworks display?"

Vanich: "Twitch..."

Jones: "That seems needlessly dangerous."

Vanich: "Don't worry, Secundo is helping him."

Jones: "How's that supposed to make me feel any better?"

Jones: "A guy named TWITCH?"
Vanich: "Yes, Sir."
Jones: "Just make sure he aims the fireworks towards the sky."

Arnie100 wrote:Jones: "A guy named TWITCH?"
Vanich: "Yes, Sir."
Jones: "Just make sure he aims the fireworks towards the sky."

The guy's name is Rockwell Twitch is his nickname, he's the IceGuard explosives expert. Best remembered for nuking Queen Beryl's lair during a routine patrol.

I seriously doubt pointing the explosives skyward is going to help any more than it did Moon Base Alpha.

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Jones: "A guy named TWITCH?"
Vanich: "Yes, Sir."
Jones: "Just make sure he aims the fireworks towards the sky."

The guy's name is Rockwell Twitch is his nickname, he's the IceGuard explosives expert. Best remembered for nuking Queen Beryl's lair during a routine patrol.

I seriously doubt pointing the explosives skyward is going to help any more than it did Moon Base Alpha.

You %^*$%ing READ MY MIND!!!! NO FAIR!!!!


Haydonite: <<"We will attack during the night when our communications indicate they will be in the midst of a ritual celebration, and their guard will be down!">>

Jones: "Oh, great...do you know how hard it was to explain THAT situation to Leonard and the TASC?!"
Vanich: "THAT was why he was transferred HERE."

Jones: "Rockwell, what possessed you to think a THERMONUCLEAR starshell was a good idea?"
Twitch: "Well, sir, I thought the emitted radiation would have a spectacular visual reaction with the Earth's ionosphere..."
Jones: "...we may have knocked out most of the civilian powergrid for the northern hemisphere...."

glitterboy2098 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:Hey Taal who is this Mihoshi that you mentioned the Lisa clone to be like or do I want to know.

From the series Tenchi Muyo!.
Mihoshi's a blonde, tan-skinned, utter total ditz. She's also a Galactic Policewoman with access to lethal force weaponry. Depending on the version of the series you watch, it's implied she accidentally offed her own partner through sheer klutziness, or is the process of driving her partner insane through her sheer airheadedness.

Looks like I'll have to watch that anime to get her character down pat, I'm going to write up a story based on this thread and I was wondering if you will proofread it since I have trouble with spelling from time to time as well as grammar errors even with the aid of a spell checker and what not.

Sure!

Here's the Wiki synopsis on Mihishi...as you can see, she's classic 'exiled to Siberia' material...or 'Police Squad'...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihoshi_Kuramitsu

depends on the continuity. OVA tenchi? she's implied to have been a very competent officer early on, only to have suffered a nervous breakdown leaving her in her ditzy state.. later was quasi-retconed into her being from an entire family with basically genetic good luck, allowing her to have been a very successful officer despite being clumsy and slightly airheaded. basically she tries very hard to be a good officer, fails often, but always manages to catch the badguy/unravel the plots/save people by accidently being in the right place at the right time...just for all the wrong reasons. if you watch the Techi GXP series, you see more of her family..

TV series continuity she's just a ditz with the good luck to have a partner who is hyper competent...though Kiyone really really hates being partnered with mihosi.. given how badly kiyone screws up trying to be a perfect officers, i think GXP command in the TV continuities matched them up so they'd balance each other out.

Don't forget that it's also implied that if she were to let hee hair down she would lose her memories. Oh and happy new year to ya'll and your's.

batlchip wrote:[
Don't forget that it's also implied that if she were to let hee hair down she would lose her memories. Oh and happy new year to ya'll and your's.

"...Say! What does THIS thingie do?"
"Mihoshi, NO! DON'T PUSH THAT BU-"

"Strange...Pluto seems to have violently changed orbit..."

"Can you imagine Mihoshi and Annie teaming up?"
"Great...I'm gonna have nightmares."

Arnie100 wrote:"Can you imagine Mihoshi and Annie teaming up?"
"Great...I'm gonna have nightmares."

Mihoshi:(jumping up and down) "amock amock amock."

"It just ain't hockey unless there's the threat of bystanders being eaten by mutant polar bears."

taalismn wrote:"It just ain't hockey unless there's the threat of bystanders being eaten by mutant polar bears."

"Better! This year we're letting the mutant polar bears suit up and play."

Jones: "Did we remember to put the snow chains on all the vehicle tires?"
"Did we ever take them off?"
"Good point. Perhaps more importantly, did we put the snow chains on the newbies?"
"Working on it, but they keep squirming and trying to work their way free."

Beneath Lake Vostok...

Elder Thing #1: "Oh crud! The IceGuard is here."

Elder Thing #2: "Shhh! Maybe if we're REALLY quiet, they won't notice us..."

SRoss wrote:Beneath Lake Vostok...

Elder Thing #1: "Oh crud! The IceGuard is here."

Elder Thing #2: "Shhh! Maybe if we're REALLY quiet, they won't notice us..."

"We've got water in the cellar..."
"Since when is our cellar a MILE deep?!"

"Major Jones, I think I found some of our missing troopers from LAST winter!"
"Indeed? Where are they?"
"Oklahoma , judging by the spin-outs and car crashes."
"Well, get in touch with them and tell them to get their asses back up here before we finish the Ice Wall!"

(Meanwhile in Oklahoma...)

Ice Guard Trooper: "Oh; heck, no! It's cold up there!"

Arnie100 wrote:(Meanwhile in Oklahoma...)

Ice Guard Trooper: "Oh; heck, no! It's cold up there!"

"Fire or ice? Freeze or burn to death. that's the question."

Celsia: "So, how do you deal with mortal leaders who upset you?"

Elizabeth II: "I let them visit, and then I off them with this." (Pulls out a broadsword)

Cut to: a bloody orange hairpiece slowly disappearing into a snow drift...

"Ice cream, with whipped cream? In THIS cold weather, sir?"
"Hell no, trooper! This is my coffee, and that's frozen steam on top."
"...colder than I thought..."

Swear I just had IceGuard ride through on the heels of 14 inches of snow...and they plowed my driveway closed...

"How the hell did they find our home addresses!?!"

Assange:

Skier: "Oh GREAT!!!! RESCUERS!!!! THANK YOU FOR FINDING ME!!!!!"
Ice Guard Trooper: "Ah....hate to burst your bubble...."

Secundo: "This is my new boyfriend Ug."

Neanderthal:

SRoss wrote:Secundo: "This is my new boyfriend Ug."

Neanderthal:

"He makes his own knives...from chipped flint."
"VERY useful talent."
"Indeed. You'd be surprised how many points it gets you on a resume."

Two figures climb out of the latest air dropped supply crate.

Tenchi: "At last Shinji we're safe!"

"Sarge! We got escapees from MCH #69 again!"

SRoss wrote:Two figures climb out of the latest air dropped supply crate.

Tenchi: "At last Shinji we're safe!"

"Sarge! We got escapees from MCH #69 again!"

Tenchi: "You actually have AN EXTRADITION TREATY???!!!! Your American schools are twisted evil!!!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Two figures climb out of the latest air dropped supply crate.

Tenchi: "At last Shinji we're safe!"

"Sarge! We got escapees from MCH #69 again!"

Tenchi: "You actually have AN EXTRADITION TREATY???!!!! Your American schools are twisted evil!!!"

Twitch: "Kid, we got enough problems of our own without taking in any of your's."

Tolliver: "Besides. Some of the females around here would eat you for breakfast!!!"

Twitch:

Tolliver: "NO! REALLY!!!"

Tenchi: "...just how many treaties with private and public organizations do you people really have?"
IGTrooper: "Officially, none. We're either an arm of the UEDF, in which case we can't bargain or negotiate independently, or we're listed as DEAD, in which case we still can't legally negotiate with anybody. Unofficially...well, last winter we were asked to run the town Winter Festival of Forks, Washington State..."


Corporal Tholdus: "I found vampire sign!"
Major Jones:"You certain?"
Tholdus: "Oh yeah. Can't forget those 'arctic night' bloodsuckers. They're here, alright."
Major Jones: "...wonderful. Just wonderful. So much for a quiet and productive side job interacting with regular civilians."
Tholdus: "Lars is pretty sure he saw werewolf tracks too."
Major Jones: "...Even better. Damn loup garous. Okay, you all know what to do."
Rockwell: "Double up on the charges because even if they're effectively immortal, we can still inconvenience them by blowing them to millions of little widely dispersed pieces?"
Naomi: "I'll get my pack tracking."
Avakuh Khan-Shung: "I'll go break out the silver ammunition."

Edward Cullen: "...uh oh..."
Jacob Black: "..yeah...I felt it too....like death just took a sudden interest in me."

taalismn wrote:Tenchi: "...just how many treaties with private and public organizations do you people really have?"
IGTrooper: "Officially, none. We're either an arm of the UEDF, in which case we can't bargain or negotiate independently, or we're listed as DEAD, in which case we still can't legally negotiate with anybody. Unofficially...well, last winter we were asked to run the town Winter Festival of Forks, Washington State..."


Corporal Tholdus: "I found vampire sign!"
Major Jones:"You certain?"
Tholdus: "Oh yeah. Can't forget those 'arctic night' bloodsuckers. They're here, alright."
Major Jones: "...wonderful. Just wonderful. So much for a quiet and productive side job interacting with regular civilians."
Tholdus: "Lars is pretty sure he saw werewolf tracks too."
Major Jones: "...Even better. Damn loup garous. Okay, you all know what to do."
Rockwell: "Double up on the charges because even if they're effectively immortal, we can still inconvenience them by blowing them to millions of little widely dispersed pieces?"
Naomi: "I'll get my pack tracking."
Avakuh Khan-Shung: "I'll go break out the silver ammunition."

Edward Cullen: "...uh oh..."
Jacob Black: "..yeah...I felt it too....like death just a sudden interest in me."

Meanwhile........
Alucard is sitting in his room watching. "Meh"

"Remember; if you can't blow them to pieces, blow them into the sun."

"April snowstorm?"
"Yeah, cheesebread run."

Jones enters his office...



Secundo: "April Fo..." (Tap tap) "Um, Commander?"

Vanitch: (Taking the phone) "Hey doc, we need the heating pads up at the CO's office. Yeah, Secundo mistook the SLMH for water again..."

SRoss wrote:Jones enters his office...

SPLASH!

Secundo: "April Fo..." (Tap tap) "Um, Commander?"

Vanitch: (Taking the phone) "Hey doc, we need the heating pads up at the CO's office. Yeah, Secundo mistook the SLMH for water again..."

"Our new state of the art anti-hypothermia treatment...the chisel thaw."