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Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 7:15 pm
  

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Hero

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taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Jones: "Hello, Medical... We need the thermal pads... Yeah, someone tricked Secundo into thinking we were doing a fanservice episode... Again."

Cut to a bikini clad Secundo, frozen in a block of ice in the courtyard...


"Can't we just keep her on ice until the spring thaw?"
"..She's a universal blood donor. Medical won't stand for her being out of commission."
"Can't we just...tap her?"
"She's a human being, not a sugar maple!"



"Are sure it's a wise idea to leave her out there?, if the skeeters mange to tap her for her mutagenic blood we *might* have a problem. "

_________________
" Ale and Whores, it's not just your reward, it's your Motivation. "


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Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:48 pm
  

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Kargan3033 wrote:
[


"Are sure it's a wise idea to leave her out there?, if the skeeters mange to tap her for her mutagenic blood we *might* have a problem. "



"The skeeters would have to don parkas and crawl through the equivalent of a cryogenic typhoon and through base security to reach her before they could bite h---I'll set up the sentry guns, you get the heating pads."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 12:17 am
  

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Posts: 1367
taalismn wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
[


"Are sure it's a wise idea to leave her out there?, if the skeeters mange to tap her for her mutagenic blood we *might* have a problem. "



"The skeeters would have to don parkas and crawl through the equivalent of a cryogenic typhoon and through base security to reach her before they could bite h---I'll set up the sentry guns, you get the heating pads."


" Be sure to use air burst munitions in the sentry guns. "

_________________
" Ale and Whores, it's not just your reward, it's your Motivation. "


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Unread postPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:26 pm
  

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Well, Ice Guard did offer to provide security for the Olympics...but they just couldn't understand how anything could be a sport without norcas.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:27 pm
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
Twitch: "Exploding Shot-Putt isn't a sport!?!"


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Unread postPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:42 am
  

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SRoss wrote:
Twitch: "Exploding Shot-Putt isn't a sport!?!"



That would be Summer Olympics. Summer's something of an urban myth to Ice Guard, especially the later generations.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:15 pm
  

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Posts: 43193
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
"Gentlemen, I would have thought that the experience with the Tirolian Jump Boots would tell you that jetpacks and skis don't mix....at least not with us."
"In our defense, the corporal's skis did put him into an autorotation spin when the jets conked out at altitude, so he didn't hit the ground all THAT fast-"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 12:15 am
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
"Be careful, the Gura have been learning new tricks from the wildlife..."

Toliver: "I'm too tired to deal with this... I'm taking my new body pillow and going to bed..."

"THAT'S NO BODY PILLOW!!!" :eek:

Celsia: :love: :love: :love: "Hiii Tol-liv-er..." :love: :love: :love:

"Too late..."


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:47 pm
  

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"...I'm really hoping the real reason for our ordeal here isn't just to make sure Tolliver gets laid..."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 2:56 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:20 pm
Posts: 1367
taalismn wrote:
"...I'm really hoping the real reason for our ordeal here isn't just to make sure Tolliver gets laid..."


Nameless Ice Guard Trooper 666: *Wakes up from his coma due to Twitch's *Home Brew Special*, *Groggily* " Wait what?, what day is this? "

_________________
" Ale and Whores, it's not just your reward, it's your Motivation. "


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Unread postPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 8:21 pm
  

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Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:
"...I'm really hoping the real reason for our ordeal here isn't just to make sure Tolliver gets laid..."


Nameless Ice Guard Trooper 666: *Wakes up from his coma due to Twitch's *Home Brew Special*, *Groggily* " Wait what?, what day is this? "


"Blubber Stew Day."
"....I think I'll lapse back into a coma."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2018 10:49 pm
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
"SIR! I'VE FOUND A WAY TO RID YOU OF THE ICEGUARD!!!" :D

Moran: "How?"

"We strip the EPA of all power, turn it into a corporate puppet. Allow oil and coal burning everywhere..." :D

Moran: "And!?!"

"Global Warming will do our work for us!!!" :D

Moran: :nh:


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2018 4:39 pm
  

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SRoss wrote:
"SIR! I'VE FOUND A WAY TO RID YOU OF THE ICEGUARD!!!" :D

Moran: "How?"

"We strip the EPA of all power, turn it into a corporate puppet. Allow oil and coal burning everywhere..." :D

Moran: "And!?!"

"Global Warming will do our work for us!!!" :D

Moran: :nh:



"Look at it this way, sir...being posted out here on Pluto, we can throw cometary iceballs at Earth all we want..."
"You consider that a PERK?!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2018 11:37 pm
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
Jones: "So, what's the special sauce this time."

Twitch: "I got some of that red liquid from the sarcophagus they dug up in Egypt." :D

Ice Guard Troopers: :ugh: :puke: :ugh: :puke: :ugh: :puke:


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2018 8:41 pm
  

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"Ah, linseed oil! Deadly toxic, combusts easily.....that will zing the tastebuds some, I bet!"
"Alert Code Bile! Repeat, Alert Code Bile! The Mess Sarge has escaped containment and reached the messhall! Emergency response team to the Messhall at once! Alert Code Bile!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2018 11:33 pm
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
Random IceGuard Trooper #1: "Hey if the food in the cafeteria is inedible, how do we keep from starving?"

Random IceGuard Trooper #2: (Flicking on the Christmas lights) "Tonight we're having Crystal Kraken..." :twisted:


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2018 2:52 pm
  

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"Fortunately nobody travels far outside the barracks without a generous emergency supply of norca kibble...pound for pound the most nutritious and stable foodstuff you can pack in the Arctic."*


*I read once of an Alaskan bushpilot and veterinarian(he made cabin calls) who kept a large bag of dry dog kibble under his plane's seat...He reasoned that if he ever went down in the wilderness and wasn't killed immediately, he could survive off the stuff until rescued, because it was stable, nutritious, and better than the massmarket 'survival rations' he could have bought.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2018 11:46 pm
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
taalismn wrote:
"Fortunately nobody travels far outside the barracks without a generous emergency supply of norca kibble...pound for pound the most nutritious and stable foodstuff you can pack in the Arctic."*


*I read once of an Alaskan bushpilot and veterinarian(he made cabin calls) who kept a large bag of dry dog kibble under his plane's seat...He reasoned that if he ever went down in the wilderness and wasn't killed immediately, he could survive off the stuff until rescued, because it was stable, nutritious, and better than the massmarket 'survival rations' he could have bought.


Twitch: "Norca Kibble and beer, the breakfast of champions."

Random IceGuard Trooper: "Snap crackle burp, just what we need before disarming old Reflex warheads." :roll:

Twitch: "Dis-arming? Ooops."

*Ironically, I remember a survival expert who said, when civilization collapses, while everyone is fighting to loot the grocery stores, you should go out and raid the pet food stores. For pretty much the same reasons you gave above.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2018 8:46 pm
  

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SRoss wrote:

*Ironically, I remember a survival expert who said, when civilization collapses, while everyone is fighting to loot the grocery stores, you should go out and raid the pet food stores. For pretty much the same reasons you gave above.


So Purina emerges as THE major food company of the post-Rain Earth?

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2018 11:39 pm
  

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"Hey, Twitch!" :-D
"What?" :|
"Guess where we are!" :-D
"Same as we always are, lost in a blizzard, driving in the middle of nowhere." :|
"No! GPS sez, get this, we're in North Carolina!" :-D
"...like you actually believe that thing? GPS has never worked right for us! Remember last year, we were supposedly in Aspen, Colorado?" :badbad:
"Yeah, yeah, but it's nice to think we might actually be south of the Arctic Circle!" :-D
"Yeah, it is...." :|
(meanwhile, outside, two North Carolina State Troopers are looking in surprise at the gray, white, and blue APC trundling past them on the snow-covered highway).

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2018 11:43 am
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
taalismn wrote:
"Hey, Twitch!" :-D
"What?" :|
"Guess where we are!" :-D
"Same as we always are, lost in a blizzard, driving in the middle of nowhere." :|
"No! GPS sez, get this, we're in North Carolina!" :-D
"...like you actually believe that thing? GPS has never worked right for us! Remember last year, we were supposedly in Aspen, Colorado?" :badbad:
"Yeah, yeah, but it's nice to think we might actually be south of the Arctic Circle!" :-D
"Yeah, it is...." :|
(meanwhile, outside, two North Carolina State Troopers are looking in surprise at the gray, white, and blue APC trundling past them on the snow-covered highway).


(Back at base...)
"What's this watery snow?"
"I think they call that rain sir."


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Unread postPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2018 9:52 pm
  

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SRoss wrote:
[

(Back at base...)
"What's this watery snow?"
"I think they call that rain sir."


"Great, we trade away all those pool floats, and then they hit us with global warming....."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:40 am
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
[

(Back at base...)
"What's this watery snow?"
"I think they call that rain sir."


"Great, we trade away all those pool floats, and then they hit us with global warming....."

Captain Morgan: (Yelling from the Conning Tower) "WHO BE LAUGHING NOW!?!" :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:26 pm
  

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"So...are we going ent-hunting again this year?"
"You mean going looking for a Christmas Tree? Yes, we are, only we're doing it at the Genesis Pit again."
"Lemme get my rocket-powered chainsaw launcher then."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:23 pm
  

Knight

Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:13 pm
Posts: 4808
Location: Vernon, ON. Canada
taalismn wrote:
"So...are we going ent-hunting again this year?"
"You mean going looking for a Christmas Tree? Yes, we are, only we're doing it at the Genesis Pit again."
"Lemme get my rocket-powered chainsaw launcher then."

" I'll get my Kitten Armour on."


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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:56 pm
  

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Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
Yeah, 'Killer Pine' is just another walk in the woods for Ice Guard.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 9:40 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
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Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
In an age of cutting-edge Robotechnology, an age of Reason, an age of Pragmatism, there’s still a place for superstition. That rings especially of Earth, post-Rain Earth, the Haunted Earth. Even in the eyes and manner of the most experienced, weather, practical of veterans, you can see a hint of an uncertainty, a fear, of the unknown they cannot explain. Newer generations may scoff, but if they watch and listen long enough, they’ll be witness to those old-timers murmur of -things that shouldn’t be-. Things that give them pause.
Especially amongst the hardbitten lifers of the Cold Weather Offense Squad. Those men and women who have endured nature’s fury like no others. Those who have sat watch on the long glaring days and the long dark nights. Soldiers who will walk into the teeth of a feeding gale in white-out conditions. Even insulated by the best equipment robotechnology can produce and the best training centuries of military practice can inculcate, there are things the core of the CWOS, in their heart of hearts, -fear-.
Only occasionally will these hardened men of the cold places take some younger trooper, of an open mind, close under their wing, and, in voice part-instruction, part-warning, part-trembling, and part-confession, tell of secrets that leave weaker hearts stuttering and weaker minds broken.
They will speak of the Ice Guard.

"The Twitch, it come for you, they find you in many -tiny- pieces...."

"Old Man Jones, they say he sold his soul to the Cold. That if you ever hear the wind whisper your name. Cold Man Jones is coming to draft you into his Army of the Ice, where your soul is frozen and can't escape, and your body's a zombie, roaming the frozen ice cap..."

"Ice Guard's heralds are the Yuki-onna, the Snow Maidens, that steal men's heat when they breath on you...."

"When the storms blow out of the deepest arctic night, it's Ice Guard on the move! Keep your heaters close and your guard up! You'll want to keep your engines warm, to make a quick getaway when they come!"



"Strange...looks like those guys left in a hurry...food on the stove's still warm.....wonder what spooked them?"
"Hey, if they're abandoning all their stuff like this...can't let it all go to waste."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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