[Pokes head into thread] Hellooo! Anybody home? I've got a fresh baked batch of flaws if you want some? No? Well, I'll just leave them by the door if any of you want some. [Walks off muttering under his breath] People today, got NO respect for their threads. They go through
all the trouble of making a thread, then can't even feed or walk if properly.
Hope you all enjoy!
Ship of the Dumb: Any time the crew is on or within the ship, they are rendered completely, and utterly mute. There's nothing wrong with any of their vocal apparatus, they just cannot make any noise with their mouths or throat (not even lip smacking, whistles, clicks, or raspberries). It is highly suggested that they learn sign language, Morse code, and carry keyboards hooked up to audio-projection equipment. Guests and cargo are unaffected, only the crew is struck dumb.
Anachronistic Timepieces: The ship has its own revolutionary internal lighting system, a way of accurately transcribing the path of the sun and stars in relation to a specific planet, only without any clouds or other atmospheric disturbances. The problem? This means no automated lights OR clocks. All clocks are replaced with sun-dials and water-clocks throughout the entire ship, there are even digital ones for countdowns! The calendar has been replaced with a series of pictograms on wooden plates, when one day/month/year ends, the plate flips up, revealing the next one in line. alternatively, they are some highly advanced future tech accidentally sent back in time, and you need to figure out all the little ins and outs of the unknown calendar and time measuring system.
Aeronauts: This vessel (only applicable to those capable of both space and atmospheric flight) when it hits atmosphere must undergo a startling transformation: into a lighter than air vessel, essentially a Zeppelin, Dirigible, or Hot-Air Balloon! This transformation takes 2d4 melee rounds to accomplish, during that time no maneuvering or speed change is allowed, and afterwards, all piloting is altered to the appropriate skill and speed. The vessel will have some form of super-science or magic that will allow them to leave the atmosphere safely once their business is done, but their will need 3d4
minutes to change back to a spacecraft.
Failed Merchandise Bonanza: You might have gotten this vessel for a bargain (or even have stolen it), but it is absolutely cram-
packed with the most useless collection of oddball junk and failed collectors items ever known. Most of this stuff isn't even REAL collectors items, but low budget knock offs and imitations (like Badgers Claws', and 'Ferrous Fellows Repelling Gloves' or 'Rat-arangs' and 'Ultraviolet Energy Bracers'), or from investors making a bunch of toys/cards/games/clothes/whatever for a predicted fad or hype that just never happened ('Authentic Splyncryth Chibi-Dolls with genuine oozing slime and smell! Get yours today!'), from something that has
negative value, as in you need to pay people to TAKE IT, or is illegal in the current territory you happen to be in.
Every time a panel or compartment is opened, there's a 1d4% chance of 2d4x10 pounds of useless JUNK comes flying out and hitting everyone within 5 feet. There is so much stuff here, that it breaks the laws of physics, due to the fact that there is a persistent micro-rift to the Junk Planet (the place that the Great Machine sends its leftovers) that acts to fill all space in the ship. No matter how often the crew cleans out the junk, 2d4 days later, the ship is full to the brim again. Just opening the cargo bay and jettisoning it might work in deep space, but in most settled and civilized areas, the law might be a bit questioning about what your doing ("And exactly
when did you boys buy these hideous dolls? None of our sensor records show any of you leaving that ship for two weeks! And is that a 'See-Ya Feline massager over there? They've been banned by every government known, even by the Splugorth! You better come along with us to the stations."), somehow I doubt that "It's a mystery officer, honestly it is!" will cut much slack.
Infernal Acoustics: The ship is built by beings that rely almost entirely on sounds as opposed to sight, so they designed it to transmit sound EXTREMELY well. Its entirely possible to whisper one end of the vessel and be heard on the other, its
that good. The problems are that there's no way to turn it off, it even applies to engineering and personal quarters! Secondly, the sounds people make will be played back at random times, referred to as 'echoes' by the builders, entirely at random and without any necessary connection with what's happening currently. If you aren't very, VERY quiet, you may just end up driving everyone onboard insane, as they can all hear what your saying and doing 24/7.
Subliminal Messaging: This ship sports some of the best danged beds, pillows, and blankets in the entire Megaverse! The problem is that they use barely audible whispers (in the users own voice, no less), combined with low level psionic nudges and chemical agents to try and brainwash the user into supporting or believing certain things (Join the TGE, Buy Naruni, Kiss a Cosmo-Knight, the voices ARE real, etc.) Every day the character needs to roll vs. insanity or start to believe in what the Messaging says. If they ever miss 5 days in one week, they not only firmly believe it, but they are addicted to the ships beds. Once addicted, they will not EVER again be able to get a full nights sleep anywhere else, they will be grouchy and paranoid, -2 to initiative, natural -1 to all combat rolls, and -5% on all skills until the can once again sleep in 'their' bed.
Combination Food Delivery and Reclamation Unit: This ship has an entirely automated and independent Synthetic Person who's one and
only job is keeping the crew well fed and properly nourished. The food is always served at the perfect temperature, in perfect amounts per person, force fields and holograms to keep the smells (and sights and sounds as applicable) from distracting the other eaters, the dishes never go bad if you have to leave in the middle of your meal and return (even if its minutes, hours, or DAYS later), the Synthetic Person is a courteous and contentious dining companion and offers the perfect compliment to the users comments and conversation, the food never causes the eater to gain or loose an unhealthy amount of weight, it actually has minor medicinal effects and prevents minor colds and fevers.
Wow, that sounds fantastic! So, what's the catch?
The current food is made out of the remains of the previous meals, and your 'seat' is actually a toilet, you can't eat until you provide the necessary matter. The Synthetic Person knows if you 'cheat' and sneak food from other sources while on the vessel, and will punish you as they see fit (maybe giving a vegetarian Kreeghor food, or serving up live mealworms, or making them get down on all fours and eat out of a doggie bowl).
You'd be suprised at what the G.M. will allow with a little blackmail and bribery...
"Jack! You've debauched my sloth!" - Steven Matrin
"Artillery is the King of the Battlefield, Infantry is the Queen; and everybody knows what the King does to the Queen."- Stuart, from StarDestroyer.net
).
Here, have some more fresh baked flaws!
