RDF/UEDF Siberia Soruce Book Idea(parody)

[Kargan3033]

I was think of a new Macross soruce book set in Siberia.

Here's what I have come up with so far.

RDF/UDEF base Ice Guard:
This out of the way RDF/UDEF outpost was created after the Rain Of Death in order to safe guard the last remaining sub artict and artic wildlife from zentraedi melcontents.

The base's personal consist of the floowing NPCs.
Major Alex Jones:Major Jones was *given* command of base Ice Guard after a small altercation with the UEG president's 16 year old dautgther with was in his old RDF/UEDF command.

The second in command of Ice Guard with one Alexi Federoff who is really an E.B.S.I.S spy and drinking buddy of the late Boris Yeltsin to have survived the Rain Of Death.

The Chief medical officer of Ice Guard is one Dr.Flint Smith who was transfered from the RDf/UDEF bio warfare divsion for *unathoerized" medical exsperments and has become slightly unhinged due to his past trama involing a polenator that was discovered on the wreckage of the crashed SDF-1 and he is a major coffee abuser.

Other Ice Guard personal include Privet 4th class MikeTolliver who was *asigned * to Ice Guard following an unspecfied breach of RDF/UDEF securty on the orders of Commander Lisa Hayse.

Privet Tholdus a zentraedi washout of the RDF/UDEF zentraedi acclamion program who is un heavy doses of anti phycosis medication for an unspecfied trama involving Minmai at one of her consorts that must be imported from New Macross City through the treacherouse artic circle which suffers from violent weather pattrens due to the Rain Of Death which claims over 75.7% of all transport planes from New Macross.

Lynn Minmai who ended up at Ice Guard following her brake up with Lynn Kyle who is on a major extacy binge.

The rest of Ice Guard 12,567 personal are *Model* soliders and suport personal of the RDF/UDEF who were *given* such a *choice* asignment to Ice Guard because of their *meritous* service to the RDF/UDEF.

The base's mecha and vehicles have been cobbled together from the RDF/UEDF's scrap heaps due to the *cronic* shortages of mecha and equipment from the RDF/UDEF and have been patched up and modfied many time by Ice Guard's *skilled* technitions over the years.

Tell me do you all think this would be a *fun* soruce book to add to the Robotech experince?

[Seto Kaiba]

The base's personal consist of the floowing NPCs.
Major Alex Jones:Major Jones was *given* command of base Ice Guard after a small altercation with the UEG president's 16 year old dautgther with was in his old RDF/UEDF command.

Slightly less creepy than having 19 year old Rick trying to get his leg over a 15 year old waitress.

The second in command of Ice Guard with one Alexi Federoff who is really an E.B.S.I.S spy and drinking buddy of the late Boris Yeltsin to have survived the Rain Of Death.

This is eerily consistent with canon... the UEDF's background checks really could stand to be more thorough, eh?

Lynn Minmai who ended up at Ice Guard following her brake up with Lynn Kyle who is on a major extacy binge.

... and y'know what? It's still more dignified than what became of Kaifun/Kyle in Robotech or Macross!

The rest of Ice Guard 12,567 personal are *Model* soliders and suport personal of the RDF/UDEF who were *given* such a *choice* asignment to Ice Guard because of their *meritous* service to the RDF/UDEF.

As opposed to model senior officers like Eli Anatole Leonard and T.R. Edwards, who are guilty of high treason, a bit of mass murder, sabotage, hijacking, etc.?

Tell me do you all think this would be a *fun* soruce book to add to the Robotech experince?

Sounds like the premise of a Robotech comic book. Forward this to Tommy immediately.

[Tiree]

The second in command of Ice Guard with one Alexi Federoff who is really an E.B.S.I.S spy and drinking buddy of the late Boris Yeltsin to have survived the Rain Of Death.

This is eerily consistent with canon... the UEDF's background checks really could stand to be more thorough, eh?

It's hard to do a thorough background check when the world is practically destroyed. Most of the human asset intelligence would have been wiped out. The electronic knowledgebase is probably gone.

[Kargan3033]

The base's personal consist of the floowing NPCs.
Major Alex Jones:Major Jones was *given* command of base Ice Guard after a small altercation with the UEG president's 16 year old dautgther with was in his old RDF/UEDF command.

Slightly less creepy than having 19 year old Rick trying to get his leg over a 15 year old waitress.

The second in command of Ice Guard with one Alexi Federoff who is really an E.B.S.I.S spy and drinking buddy of the late Boris Yeltsin to have survived the Rain Of Death.

This is eerily consistent with canon... the UEDF's background checks really could stand to be more thorough, eh?

Lynn Minmai who ended up at Ice Guard following her brake up with Lynn Kyle who is on a major extacy binge.

... and y'know what? It's still more dignified than what became of Kaifun/Kyle in Robotech or Macross!

The rest of Ice Guard 12,567 personal are *Model* soliders and suport personal of the RDF/UDEF who were *given* such a *choice* asignment to Ice Guard because of their *meritous* service to the RDF/UDEF.

As opposed to model senior officers like Eli Anatole Leonard and T.R. Edwards, who are guilty of high treason, a bit of mass murder, sabotage, hijacking, etc.?

Tell me do you all think this would be a *fun* soruce book to add to the Robotech experince?

Sounds like the premise of a Robotech comic book. Forward this to Tommy immediately.

Well I'm glad you like it, I'm in a fiar funny mood due to the pain killers I'm on and after reading the last two pages of the RT bloopers in which Tollvier is trying to keep himself from getting shipped out after seeing Lisa in the buff I got inspired to write this little bit of my type of RT humor.

But all joking aside I wonder if anyone has RPed the worset of the worset of the REDF/UEDF toops who got s**t canned to the worse asignment in the RDF/UEDF because their characters are such *model* soliders.

as for Kyle I hate him with a passion, the same with Minimay, not torture is ever to vile for the two of them.

[SRoss]

Lt. Samantha Porter, recently declared alive, Lt. Porter was transferred here while disciplinary board investigates unspecified cruelty charges involving, whips, candle wax and riding micronized zentraedi in a pink tutu.

Prisoner #43876, a micronized zentraedi, transferred transferred as prison labor, on the orders of Breetai. He is brash and arrogant, but is oddly timid and frightened around Ms. Porter whom he only addresses as Mistress.

[taalismn]

The mandatory Mystery Crate with biohazard warnings stamped on it. Nobody, except for the resident mad scientist(s), knows what it's in it, but it apparently shifts position in the room it's kept in, and has been known to growl at people coming too close.

Lars Urghason, "Viking Hero'....Nobody knows where he came from, the officers have no file on him, but it's assumed that he got sent here on a Section Eight(or on the SUSPICION of trying to get out of draft service on a Section Eight) as he refuses to speak anything other than a virtually extinct dialect of ancient Gallic, and carries a two-headed axe with him wherever he goes. Another rumor going around is that Lars was really found frozen in ice in the basement and accidentally defrosted during expansion of the facilities.

Leesa Segundo(or is it Sec? Or Dos? Or Tu? She can't quite remember herself) ---God, but the wet-behind-the-ears newbie officer looks familiar! And why does Tolliver keep cringing and Minmei growls whenever she's around? Seems somebody had the bright idea of cloning Lisa Hayes in a Zentraedi Protoculture Chamber in hopes of lightning striking twice. It did, but apparently fried most of the clone's brain cells in the process. So to cover up the mistake, they shipped the bubbly, naive, socially inept, Mihoshi-like clone with the off-color hair to the polar base where she'll either prove herself or freeze to death.

And yes, I'm sorry to see that even doing higher math problems backwards in Latin wasn't enough to keep Tolliver from being shipped out to do a mosquito census of the polar ice cap.

[Kargan3033]

Lt. Samantha Porter, recently declared alive, Lt. Porter was transferred here while disciplinary board investigates unspecified cruelty charges involving, whips, candle wax and riding micronized zentraedi in a pink tutu.

Prisoner #43876, a micronized zentraedi, transferred transferred as prison labor, on the orders of Breetai. He is brash and arrogant, but is oddly timid and frightened around Ms. Porter whom he only addresses as Mistress.

Hehe nice I can see this becoming a major laugh fest if played out in a game of RT by a cruel GM.

[Kargan3033]

The mandatory Mystery Crate with biohazard warnings stamped on it. Nobody, except for the resident mad scientist(s), knows what it's in it, but it apparently shifts position in the room it's kept in, and has been known to growl at people coming too close.

Lars Urghason, "Viking Hero'....Nobody knows where he came from, the officers have no file on him, but it's assumed that he got sent here on a Section Eight(or on the SUSPICION of trying to get out of draft service on a Section Eight) as he refuses to speak anything other than a virtually extinct dialect of ancient Gallic, and carries a two-headed axe with him wherever he goes. Another rumor going around is that Lars was really found frozen in ice in the basement and accidentally defrosted during expansion of the facilities.

Leesa Segundo(or is it Sec? Or Dos? Or Tu? She can't quite remember herself) ---God, but the wet-behind-the-ears newbie officer looks familiar! And why does Tolliver keep cringing and Minmei growls whenever she's around? Seems somebody had the bright idea of cloning Lisa Hayes in a Zentraedi Protoculture Chamber in hopes of lightning striking twice. It did, but apparently fried most of the clone's brain cells in the process. So to cover up the mistake, they shipped the bubbly, naive, socially inept, Mihoshi-like clone with the off-color hair to the polar base where she'll either prove herself or freeze to death.

And yes, I'm sorry to see that even doing higher math problems backwards in Latin wasn't enough to keep Tolliver from being shipped out to do a mosquito census of the polar ice cap.

Hehehe you are far too good at this Taal I can just see the air head Lisa clone in an old and falling apart Spartan or better yet a MAC II on the mech gun range.

Who knows maybe the Lisa clone will take a shining to Tolliver since he would only be the normal one on the base.

[Kargan3033]

More Ice Guard personal, feel free to add to the list.

Sargent Jake " Twitch " Rockwell the base's ordance officer and budding pryomanic and cronic stimulnt abuser and all around tinkerer when it comes to imporving the destructive power of the base's explosive ordance, to bad he suffers twitching to grand mal seiures when nervouse or excited due to the year of stimlunt abuse.

Nurse Amy " Saw Bones " Johnson, one of the base's medical staff who tend to scream and faint at the sight of blood and has a majorly violent phoba of mice/rats and is the main love intrest of Dr.Smith.

I wonder if the Lisa clone who be placed on the base's cooking staff after her time on the mecha gun range.

[taalismn]

Naturally, if this follows the usual tropes for this sort of comedy, there should be some representatives of the following ideas:

*The Better(Evil) Rivals---Not far away, yet worlds away, from the Ice Guard is another military unit. They’re better trained, better equipped, better motivated, and better regarded. If the Ice Guard is strictly old-style UEDF/RDF, then the Rivals are ASC Cold Weather Offense Squad with their shiny new equipment. If Ice Guard is a mixed RDF/ASC operation, then the Rivals will be an ASC unit, but one with higher regard from Command, or they could be an EBSIS(or other independent) force. They’re essentially the Ice Guard’s opposite numbers, though they’re nominally on the same side. They’re just much more annoying about it. The Rivals will use every opportunity to show up the Ice Guard and rub it in to the latter that they’re losers who Command doesn’t have much confidence in, so the Rivals, who get the best of gear, a luxurious base, regular visits home, and regular promotion are ready and waiting to swoop in and save their asses.
The Rival’s commanding officer will be courageous, smart, and on the way up the promotion ladder,... and is an insufferable lout who knows he or she is better than anybody in the Ice Guard, no matter how much seniority is on the Ice Guards’ side....If male, the Rival Commander will think himself God’s Gift to the Opposite Gender and seek to catch the eye and bed any beautiful woman in the Ice Guard(think Zap Brannigan). If female, she’ll be disgusted with the lack of discipline in the Ice Guard, but is willing to make an exception for the handsome male Ice Guard that catches her eye.
At some point the Rivals and the Ice Guard are going to go up against each other, in some contrived contest or in open battle, but not before the Rivals utterly scorch the Ice Guard on a number of occasions(making for a frequent and familiar comment; “I hate those guys...”).

-Enemy in High Place---It’s assumed that just about everybody at Ice Guard dissed somebody in a place of power, and those power-holders will do what it takes to keep their victims stationed at the gulag. However, there’s one or two shadowy figures who REALLY have it in for the people at Ice Guard and aren’t just content with sending their enemies far, far, away. These evil bastards make it a hobby to find ways of heaping more humiliation on the Ice Guard on a weekly basis, and grinding them down painfully. Only annoying regulations keep the Enemy in a High Place from ordering summary executions or a one way expedition into the sun, so they’ll try other means, like cutting off the heating oil deliveries to the base in hopes that everybody there freezes to death. Enemies in High Places frequently include jilted lovers, people with something to hide, and likely the father(or mother) of the commander of the Evil Rivals.

-Harmless Enemies---This is a threat force that isn’t. The Not So Terrible Tech Pirates. The Eccentric and Harmless Zentraedi Hermits. The Angry Irate Eskimos. They’ll at worst be simply annoying by escaping the Ice Guard, or snowballing them, or some other harmless activity that nevertheless humiliates the professionalism of Ice Guard. At some point in the series, though, the Harmless Enemies turn out to be helpful friends, by providing some much-needed service, sounding a warning, or teaming up with the Ice Guard to fight:

-The Mysterious Evil Menace---This is the Big Threat that gets foreshadowed at the end of the first season with ominous hints, and appears in force halfway through the second. The MEM isn’t supposed to be in the same area as the Ice Guard. It shouldn’t exist, but it does(though the Ice Guard can’t manage to convince anybody of it). The MEM can be a powerful Russian warlord(who’s not happy that the original EBSIS concept got cut), the last remaining big Zentraedi Malcontent clan, early Robotech Masters’ force, Invid scout force, other alien threat(like dark spidery aliens), or maybe a secret conspiracy in the UEDF to stage a worldwide coup. When the MEM does show up, it should be obvious that they’re a real threat to the world, and the Ice Guard is all that’s standing between the MEM and world domination.


Episode Ideas:
-Opposites Attract(Or at Least Cold-Weld to Each Other)---Two of the Ice Guard characters are so antagonistic towards each other that, sick and tired of their disruptive behavior, the base commander orders them BOTH on a routine mission(patrol, repairing an unmanned outpost, etc.) together off-base. Naturally, something goes wrong(their sno-cat falls down a crevasse, a freak storm blows up, they get lost while arguing with each other) and the two get stranded out in the wastes and are forced to rely on each other while waiting and hoping for help to arrive. Cue budding romance/bonding; not that anybody back on base will believe it.

-There Be Gold in Them Hills and Under that Snow---The characters discover some valuable resource in the vicinity of the base; oil, gold, uranium, or something else, that promises to make millions if exploited...and maybe get the Ice Guard staff transferred someplace nicer(not likely, the Powers That Be will simply find some other place even more godforsaken to put them). After dreams of wealth and luxury run their course, the ‘find’ turns out to be utterly bogus(a lost cargo of gold paint, an abandoned leaking oil tank, etc.). End with the Ice Guard back in their old dreary routine, cursing their lot in life.

-Mass Incapacitation and Our Fate is in the Hands of...Oh ^%#$, We’re Doomed---A culinary treat backfires and most of the Ice Guard gets stricken with food poisoning or the flu, leaving only the most dimwitted or incapable personnel running things on base.....just as disaster(a monster storm, a genuine enemy attack, etc.) looms and threatens the base.

-All’s Fair in Love and War Games---Discipline and preparedness have fallen to new lows, so the base commander decides to hold war games, pitting half the base against the other for a prize. Competition goes beyond friendly and rivalry, not team work building, threatens to crack the base like a glacier in a global warming scenario. There’s rumors the Red Team are using insider information to score against the Blue Team, and that the Blue Team is gathering live ammunition, including a reflex warhead, for the Big Fight that finishes the war games. Then everything gets rudely interrupted when something else interrupts, such as the Evil Rivals crashing the war games. Will the spirit of cooperation against a common enemy win out, or will it be a free-for-all that will catastrophically melt the ice cap?

-The Halloween Episode---Yeah, Ice Guard’s desperate for anything to celebrate. Even Halloween in the land of the midnight sun. But when it goes beyond simple pranks and into truly terrifying encounters and incidents, rumors begin flying of eldritch terrors set loose on the staff(such as the ghosts of the lost Franklin Expedition, native animal spirits, etc.). In reality, it’s the local Irate Eskimos getting even with the Ice Guard for some perceived slight. Though it will end with something like “Wow, that was all you guys? Those zombies looked so real!” “Zombies? WHAT zombies? We didn’t do any zombies....”

- Lector on Ice---One of the new Ice Guard transfers isn’t simply crazy; he’s genuinely deranged and criminally psychotic. He’s out to kill somebody, anybody, everybody, and the Ice Guard base is where he’ll start, holding the base hostage with a nuclear weapon he managed to acquire. This is more grimdark that comedic...at least until the regulars figure out the way to defeat this irrational but brilliant psychopath is to outweird him.

-Any Port in a Storm---The Ice Guard are forced to play host to a large crew of civilian contractors from a polar mining/drilling operation, when their transport(s) get sidetracked by sabotage, bad weather, or bad timing. Facilities will be cramped, with people sleeping in halls, rec rooms, and doubling up in quarters, and available resources will be strained. Worse yet is the nerve-strain, as the rowdy, demanding, free-spirited wildcatters mingle and clash with the arguably slightly better disciplined(but definitely more clinically insane) Ice Guard. This is occasion for all manner of hijinx; a rash of petty crime, whining in the chow line, flirting romance, and at least one Big Brawl as the two cultures clash.

-So Cute It Hurts---Hearts melt before the power of cuteness when one of the patrols brings in an adorable little orphaned polar bear cub. So when something starts damaging and destroying heavy hardware around the base, poor little cute-as-a-button Bhu-Bhu is the last thing anybody suspects. Well, except for the staff members who get stuck in Bhu-Bhu’s enclosure and discover the ‘cub’ is really a MUTANT polar bear, when it transforms into a giant furred wrecking ball of teeth and claws, the ability to rip metal like tissue paper, and an appetite for human flesh.

-Foreshadowing(Ominous Soundtrack) ---The latest transfer to Ice Guard is acting peculiar, especially during a series of strange events besetting the base. When questioned about his actions, the transferee acts evasive and suspiciously. A look at his records reveals that there’s little known about him, and what there is looks too pat and pedestrian to be real, like a filled-in form letter. Suspecting he’s a spy, the characters confront him, and after acting evasive again, the transferee finally admits/hints that he’s a time traveller from the future, here to observe a ‘critical moment in history’ with the implication that Ice Guard plays an important role in the future. Before he can reveal(or be forced to reveal) more than a few tantilizing hints, another series of events results in the supposedly time-traveller’s death/disappearance, leaving the characters with more questions than answers, though an update to the missing transferee’s record suggests that he may have been delusional...but even that doesn’t stand up to serious scrutiny. Subsequently one of the base characters discovers one of the things the ‘time-traveller’ hinted at, or inadvertantly alters/destroys one of the ‘linchpins’ the guy felt was critical to the future he came from.

-SuperBot!---The base engineers, at the behest of the resident Insane But Brilliant Mecha Pilot, get an idea to build an IMU of such a radical concept and power that it will be superior to even top of the line UEDF mecha. Naturally, something’s going to go wrong(it gets stolen, it has a life of its own and decides to go for a walk, the reactor is a time bomb, etc.) with the tests. If it’s running rogue, then somebody’s got to hunt it down, raising the very real possibility that somebody’s going to get killed(or at least seriously maimed) by their own super-mecha.

-Ministry of Misery---Somebody back in the Warm has decided to do a little bean counting and slash the operating budget appropriations for Ice Guard, threatening to make things even more miserable for the inmatesstaff. To fend off any more belt-tightening, a select team of officers will have to find some way of justifying continued expeditures on Ice Guard, or else break out and make their way back to civilization, negotiate the insane UEG bureacracy, and confront the parties responsible for funding Ice Guard. Meanwhile, while the Ice Guard brass are away, insanity reigns back at the base with some sort of imminent disaster, recalling that mass food poisoning event when the janitors wound up in charge of the base. Shennanigans both on the base and in the halls of power end up with the Ice Guard keeping their funding(but the duty assignments of the staff extended yet again into perpetuity) and the base getting a new transferee; the bean counter who tried to slash the budget in the first place.

-Murder on the Siberian IceFlow---There’s crime afoot in the Ice Guard base; somebody murdered the new, but unpopular, new transferee(or else concussed the popular new transferee into a coma). Or maybe it’s a mysterious rash of thefts. Now every other person is suiting up to play Sherlock Holmes and catch the responsible parties. Conspiracy theories abound and clash(heatedly so) until somebody points out all the clues add up to the obvious; the victim did THEMSELVES in(or people are simply misplacing their own stuff).

-Space Modulator---The Ice Guard discover a wrecked Zentraedi ship in their vicinity, and while exploring it, discover that the ship has been rigged as a giant nuclear device capable of blowing the entire northern hemisphere off the planet! OF COURSE somebody accidentally activates and arms it, and with the timer running down, no way of getting help in from outside, it’s up to the on-site Ice Guard to defuse the situation. To make matters worse, the only person brilliant/skilled enough to figure out the giant bomb’s intricate mechanisms is either recovering a massive drinking binge, is sulking over something(like a failed romantic overture), or wants a transfer out of Ice Guard(but any such is going to be blocked, either because the person’s a genuine nut, or because an Enemy in a High Place won’t allow it). Tick, tick, tick....

[taalismn]

More Ice Guard personal, feel free to add to the list.

Sargent Jake " Twitch " Rockwell* the base's ordance officer and budding pryomanic and cronic stimulnt abuser and all around tinkerer when it comes to imporving the destructive power of the base's explosive ordance, to bad he suffers twitching to grand mal seiures when nervouse or excited due to the year of stimlunt abuse.

Nurse Amy " Saw Bones " Johnson, one of the base's medical staff who tend to scream and faint at the sight of blood and has a majorly violent phoba of mice/rats and is the main love intrest of Dr.Smith.

I wonder if the Lisa clone** who be placed on the base's cooking staff after her time on the mecha gun range.

*Naturally, he's called in to handle the 'Space Modulator' episode above.

**Leesa Segundo will be the Mihoshi-like ditz on base. Commonplace mishaps include constantly getting her tongue stuck to cold metal, or the time she tried to shortcut across the base after taking a shower, and ended up freezing solid, clad only in a towel, just outside the base doors. "....Again...? *Sigh* Break out the heating pads."

[MikelAmroni]

Talisman, you forgot the mid season review of action to go with the Ministry of Misery. After all, part of the ammo for the budget guy is their reports, which of course strain credulity.

[glitterboy2098]

don't forget the base intel officer who's actually a GMP undercover operative. he's a stickler for proper paperwork and sees conspiracies around every corner. which is why he got sent to the base, the GMP higher ups got tired of him filing a two hundred page report on every random thing he notices, in triplicate. of course he is convinced he's a model agent and was sent in to uncover whatever plot the base is involved in...

[SRoss]

Don't forget the obligatory fan-service episode with the underground hot-spring.

[taalismn]

Also: under non-human characters:
-The Malfunctioning Giant Robot---In this case it's a prototype GMP Robot which makes snide remarks behind people's backs, plays music like a jukebox, and throws snowballs at the backs of people's heads.
-The Animal Mascot---Typically a dog or a cat, but possibly a local arctic hare or lemming, and it quickly becomes obvious that the animal is a hell of lot smarter than most of the people in base...SOMEBODY's doing crossword puzzles in the commander's office after hours...

[taalismn]

don't forget the base intel officer who's actually a GMP undercover operative. he's a stickler for proper paperwork and sees conspiracies around every corner. which is why he got sent to the base, the GMP higher ups got tired of him filing a two hundred page report on every random thing he notices, in triplicate. of course he is convinced he's a model agent and was sent in to uncover whatever plot the base is involved in...

He'll shine later when it's discovered that part of the (MASSIVE trove of ) conspiracy data he uncovered and collected actually reveals the dirty dealings of one of the Enemies in High Places(he just didn't see it because he was busy looking at an ET invasion angle).


And...under new human characters:

-Mess Sergeant Hugo 'Afterburn' Alvarez---Base Cook and an fervent culinary experimenter, determined to re-establish the fine traditions of culinary innovation after France and Italy got pasted in the Rain of Death. He got transferred after one of his experiments in the jungles of South America resulted in an entire platoon becoming stoned. Being sent to the Far North doesn't dampen his enthusiasm any, and he is soon experimenting with lichen, lemmings, blubber, and tundra plants. His experiments in cooking up deep frozen mammoth and other 'bush meat' have resulted in a stronger than normal attendance at the base chaplain's prayer services as base personnel try to get their affairs in order. In one episode Alvarez's enthusiastic waxing poetic about 'arctic king crab' will result in a shot of him cooking up an Invid Scout he somehow found ice-fishing.

[Chris0013]

Also: under non-human characters:
-The Malfunctioning Giant Robot---In this case it's a prototype GMP Robot which makes snide remarks behind people's backs, plays music like a jukebox, and throws snowballs at the backs of people's heads.
-The Animal Mascot---Typically a dog or a cat, but possibly a local arctic hare or lemming, and it quickly becomes obvious that the animal is a hell of lot smarter than most of the people in base...SOMEBODY's doing crossword puzzles in the commander's office after hours...

It's the medical officer's pollinator.....it comes and goes.....

[taalismn]

Also: under non-human characters:
-The Malfunctioning Giant Robot---In this case it's a prototype GMP Robot which makes snide remarks behind people's backs, plays music like a jukebox, and throws snowballs at the backs of people's heads.
-The Animal Mascot---Typically a dog or a cat, but possibly a local arctic hare or lemming, and it quickly becomes obvious that the animal is a hell of lot smarter than most of the people in base...SOMEBODY's doing crossword puzzles in the commander's office after hours...

It's the medical officer's pollinator.....it comes and goes.....

D'oh! I missed the obvious choice!

[Kargan3033]

Hey Taal who is this Mihoshi that you mentioned the Lisa clone to be like or do I want to know.

[SRoss]

Also: under non-human characters:
-The Malfunctioning Giant Robot---In this case it's a prototype GMP Robot which makes snide remarks behind people's backs, plays music like a jukebox, and throws snowballs at the backs of people's heads.

Wait ... There's a Functioning version of the GMP Robot?

[taalismn]

Hey Taal who is this Mihoshi that you mentioned the Lisa clone to be like or do I want to know.

From the series Tenchi Muyo!.
Mihoshi's a blonde, tan-skinned, utter total ditz. She's also a Galactic Policewoman with access to lethal force weaponry. Depending on the version of the series you watch, it's implied she accidentally offed her own partner through sheer klutziness, or is the process of driving her partner insane through her sheer airheadedness.

[taalismn]

Also: under non-human characters:
-The Malfunctioning Giant Robot---In this case it's a prototype GMP Robot which makes snide remarks behind people's backs, plays music like a jukebox, and throws snowballs at the backs of people's heads.

Wait ... There's a Functioning version of the GMP Robot?

Well, at least ones that don't act uppity and use their superior strength and speed to iceball you from behind.

[Kargan3033]

Hey Taal who is this Mihoshi that you mentioned the Lisa clone to be like or do I want to know.

From the series Tenchi Muyo!.
Mihoshi's a blonde, tan-skinned, utter total ditz. She's also a Galactic Policewoman with access to lethal force weaponry. Depending on the version of the series you watch, it's implied she accidentally offed her own partner through sheer klutziness, or is the process of driving her partner insane through her sheer airheadedness.

Looks like I'll have to watch that anime to get her character down pat, I'm going to write up a story based on this thread and I was wondering if you will poor read it since I have trouble with spelling from time to time as well as gramer errors even with the aid of a spell checker and what not.

[taalismn]

Hey Taal who is this Mihoshi that you mentioned the Lisa clone to be like or do I want to know.

From the series Tenchi Muyo!.
Mihoshi's a blonde, tan-skinned, utter total ditz. She's also a Galactic Policewoman with access to lethal force weaponry. Depending on the version of the series you watch, it's implied she accidentally offed her own partner through sheer klutziness, or is the process of driving her partner insane through her sheer airheadedness.

Looks like I'll have to watch that anime to get her character down pat, I'm going to write up a story based on this thread and I was wondering if you will proofread it since I have trouble with spelling from time to time as well as grammar errors even with the aid of a spell checker and what not.

Sure!

Here's the Wiki synopsis on Mihishi...as you can see, she's classic 'exiled to Siberia' material...or 'Police Squad'...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihoshi_Kuramitsu

[Kargan3033]

Hey Taal who is this Mihoshi that you mentioned the Lisa clone to be like or do I want to know.

From the series Tenchi Muyo!.
Mihoshi's a blonde, tan-skinned, utter total ditz. She's also a Galactic Policewoman with access to lethal force weaponry. Depending on the version of the series you watch, it's implied she accidentally offed her own partner through sheer klutziness, or is the process of driving her partner insane through her sheer airheadedness.

Looks like I'll have to watch that anime to get her character down pat, I'm going to write up a story based on this thread and I was wondering if you will proofread it since I have trouble with spelling from time to time as well as grammar errors even with the aid of a spell checker and what not.

Sure!

Here's the Wiki synopsis on Mihishi...as you can see, she's classic 'exiled to Siberia' material...or 'Police Squad'...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihoshi_Kuramitsu

Thanks for the info page I'm going to start the story now but it will take some time to get the first chapter done so don't be surpised if I'm not around all that much.

Thank you for your offer to proof read the story when the chapters are done, now I'm off to work on the character write ups.

[glitterboy2098]

Hey Taal who is this Mihoshi that you mentioned the Lisa clone to be like or do I want to know.

From the series Tenchi Muyo!.
Mihoshi's a blonde, tan-skinned, utter total ditz. She's also a Galactic Policewoman with access to lethal force weaponry. Depending on the version of the series you watch, it's implied she accidentally offed her own partner through sheer klutziness, or is the process of driving her partner insane through her sheer airheadedness.

Looks like I'll have to watch that anime to get her character down pat, I'm going to write up a story based on this thread and I was wondering if you will proofread it since I have trouble with spelling from time to time as well as grammar errors even with the aid of a spell checker and what not.

Sure!

Here's the Wiki synopsis on Mihishi...as you can see, she's classic 'exiled to Siberia' material...or 'Police Squad'...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihoshi_Kuramitsu

depends on the continuity. OVA tenchi? she's implied to have been a very competent officer early on, only to have suffered a nervous breakdown leaving her in her ditzy state.. later was quasi-retconed into her being from an entire family with basically genetic good luck, allowing her to have been a very successful officer despite being clumsy and slightly airheaded. basically she tries very hard to be a good officer, fails often, but always manages to catch the badguy/unravel the plots/save people by accidently being in the right place at the right time...just for all the wrong reasons. if you watch the Techi GXP series, you see more of her family..

TV series continuity she's just a ditz with the good luck to have a partner who is hyper competent...though Kiyone really really hates being partnered with mihosi.. given how badly kiyone screws up trying to be a perfect officers, i think GXP command in the TV continuities matched them up so they'd balance each other out.

[SRoss]

- The Great Siberian Escape: A member of the Ice Guard gets arrested and imprisoned by their rivals. The gang disguised as a a rock band busts her out.

http://youtu.be/QTNeqUBLoak

[taalismn]

New Character:

Private Naomi Akina---The obligatory moe character; short, bubbly, up on life, optimistic, just barely out of teenhood, fresh out of the academy, and so wet behind the ears she squeaks. Ice Guard is her first assignment and she's actually HAPPY to be assigned there, even more so when she discovers such ILLUSTRIOUS personas have been assigned there! Major Jones wonders how the HELL anybody so young could have ****ed somebody off enough to have them arrange to have her sent to Ice Guard; he figures her assignment must be a mistake. Naturally, Naomi is the go-getter office cheerleader and gofer, ever eager to learn from the best and show her professionalism(even though she wears ribbons in her hair, even when she's in uniform). She subsequently becomes something of a human mascot for the staff of the base, and the kid-sister figure of most of the troops. Even those royally annoyed by her upbeat attitude, though, are trying to let her keep her innocence a little longer, by padding her ever learning that Ice Guard is a gulag for the sub-par and unwanted, a task which gets harder the more she learns.

[taalismn]

- The Great Siberian Escape: A member of the Ice Guard gets arrested and imprisoned by their rivals. The gang disguised as a a rock band busts her out.

http://youtu.be/QTNeqUBLoak

- Hot Love! Frozen Hearts!(The Valentine's Day episode)---White Day comes around and love is in the air, as love notes are posted, romantic hijinx ensues, and unlikely match-ups made! More than a few mistakes are made, as confessions of love, while everybody's in parkas or sealed body armor(the heating system just happens to fail) results in more than a few cases of mistaken identity, and more than a few people discover they're vying for the same woman/man. Will everybody be able to survive the fallout from this day?

[Kargan3033]

Thank you everyone for your feed back on this topic but I have enough characters for the story so I will not add any more characters to the story.

But if anyone else wants to contribue to this topic feel free to do so and I hope to have the first chapter of this story done soon.

I hope that you and your loved ones are well today or night as the case maybe.

[taalismn]

Supplemental Characters:

-Avakuh Khan-Shung---Stoic, fierce, ramrod-straight Sikh-Gurkha destroid pilot. Born warrior, handsome, disciplined, so sharp the greases in his uniform could slice metal. Straight arrow soldier...except for that time he acted on pure reflex on the parade ground and obliterated the General's limo, thinking it was part of a live fire exercise. Favorite slogan: 'Cut THeir Throats!'. However, is painfully shy around members of the opposite sex, to the point of catatonic hysteria if in the same room with a woman showing even bare shoulders.

-Morton 'Grundgy' Grundger, destroid pilot. Old veteran with too much genre-savvy. He knows he's old enough and good enough to warrant being called a 'mentor' to younger soldiers. Also knows that such mentors immediately get killed in bloody fashion after starting to pass on life lessons to said younger characters. Therefore he refuses any sort of command-instruction position, refuses to socialize with anybody, wears full body armor at all times, keeps several first aide kits hidden within easy reach all around the base, and virtually lives in his much patched-up Spartan destroid.

[SRoss]

Supplemental Characters:

-Avakuh Khan-Shung---Stoic, fierce, ramrod-straight Sikh-Gurkha destroid pilot. Born warrior, handsome, disciplined, so charm the greases in his uniform could slice metal. Straight arrow soldier...except for that time he acted on pure reflex on the parade ground and obliterated the General's limo, thinking it was part of a live fire exercise. Favorite slogan: 'Cut THeir Throats!'. However, is painfully shy around members of the opposite sex, to the point of catatonic hysteria if in the same room with a woman showing even bare shoulders.

Dude. You realize, a Gurkha with a destroid would be overkill... Even if you were attacking Dolza's Fortress...

[Chris0013]

Supplemental Characters:

-Avakuh Khan-Shung---Stoic, fierce, ramrod-straight Sikh-Gurkha destroid pilot. Born warrior, handsome, disciplined, so charm the greases in his uniform could slice metal. Straight arrow soldier...except for that time he acted on pure reflex on the parade ground and obliterated the General's limo, thinking it was part of a live fire exercise. Favorite slogan: 'Cut THeir Throats!'. However, is painfully shy around members of the opposite sex, to the point of catatonic hysteria if in the same room with a woman showing even bare shoulders.

Dude. You realize, a Gurkha with a destroid would be overkill... Even if you were attacking Dolza's Fortress...

Does his Destroid have a giant knife??

[taalismn]

Supplemental Characters:

-Avakuh Khan-Shung---Stoic, fierce, ramrod-straight Sikh-Gurkha destroid pilot. Born warrior, handsome, disciplined, so sharp the greases in his uniform could slice metal. Straight arrow soldier...except for that time he acted on pure reflex on the parade ground and obliterated the General's limo, thinking it was part of a live fire exercise. Favorite slogan: 'Cut THeir Throats!'. However, is painfully shy around members of the opposite sex, to the point of catatonic hysteria if in the same room with a woman showing even bare shoulders.

Dude. You realize, a Gurkha with a destroid would be overkill... Even if you were attacking Dolza's Fortress...

Does his Destroid have a giant knife??

Oh yeah.....they don't know where he got it, and he almost lost it AND his destroid team when he demonstrated it on pack ice(and almost dropped them into arctic waters).

[taalismn]

Supplemental Characters:

-Avakuh Khan-Shung---Stoic, fierce, ramrod-straight Sikh-Gurkha destroid pilot. Born warrior, handsome, disciplined, so sharp the greases in his uniform could slice metal. Straight arrow soldier...except for that time he acted on pure reflex on the parade ground and obliterated the General's limo, thinking it was part of a live fire exercise. Favorite slogan: 'Cut THeir Throats!'. However, is painfully shy around members of the opposite sex, to the point of catatonic hysteria if in the same room with a woman showing even bare shoulders.

Dude. You realize, a Gurkha with a destroid would be overkill... Even if you were attacking Dolza's Fortress...

"So little time, so many throats to cut."

[taalismn]

Ice Guard: What you might call terrible accidents; crashing through thin ice, carbon monoxide poisoning, freezing to death, being eaten by polar bears, we regard as culling the herd. If you survive, it's because you're either too smart or too tough to die, in which case welcome to the club. The rest? Well, we think of it as evolution in action.

[Alpha 11]

Good job! Love it!

[taalismn]

"Those guys in Mauve Squadron don't know how good they got it....flying free, meaningful missions, hobnobbing with greatness....lucky bastards."

[taalismn]

Companion Piece:

New Addition Time:
At some point the base gets another new transfer, and anybody at IceGuard with any experience knows the new meat's going to be a ####up. They won't be disappointed. The newbie's a scientist egghead type with clear mental issues who keeps grumbling about 'the fools who don't appreciate my genius' or 'idiot flyby screwups destroying my precious creation". He will ignore everybody at IceGuard and keep to himself for the most part, except when asked to do anything for the military(when he will scoff and rant about 'sacrifices already made) or somebody tries to tell him anything that's obvious("Oh, you're telling me it's COLD OUTSIDE?! I SHOULD PUT ON A JACKET BEFORE I GO OUT?! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?! I'M ONLY A THREE DOCTORATE GRADUATE EXILED TO THE NORTH POLE AND I DON'T NOTICE IT'S COLD OUTSIDE???!!!"). In short, he's(or she's) a jerk.
Accompanying him will be a load of high-tech laboratory gear that has clearly seen better days, judging from the battered, burned, and waterlogged condition of most of it. Most of the stuff is fit only for scrapping, but some of it can still function after a fashion, including a number of 'black boxes'. More careful scrutiny or experimentation when the new guy's back is turned will reveal the presence of an Artificial Intelligence system that is quite sophisticated and quite mad; either sputteringly homicidal and eager to 'kill all flesh' if enabled, or has elected to retreat into a pacifistic zen-like meditative state ignoring the outside world.

[taalismn]

“The Land Beyond”
One of the mad scientist types tinkering in his lab, or a patrol scout out during a period of particularly bad aurora activity, makes an incredible discovery; a doorway in space/time that leads to -elsewhere-. Due to either the aurora or stray radiation from the scientist’s lab, it’s difficult, if not impossible, for Ice Guard to inform high command about this incredible discovery(even if they can make contact, they’re met with disbelief). Naturally, while waiting for reinforcements to arrive, the Ice Guard gets curious and send somebody to poke a stick through the doorway. Sunsequently, this leads to people going through, where they discover a warm, sunny, hospitable land with lots of green growing things, magical creatures, and friendly natives. To the permanent inmates of Ice Guard sitting out yet another six month arctic night, this looks like paradise next door.
However, something nasty crops up in their paradise. A zombie army starts marching through the countryside, eating people, a band of demons comes terrorizing the locals, a mad and ruthless wizard and his cronies make sex slaves out of all the pretty females in the nearby kingdom, or some other brand of ugly raises its head. The visiting Ice Guard gets moved to get involved, bringing their superior technology(broken down as it is), their superior organization and skills, and their talents to the fray. This is the Ice Guards’ moment to shine, their differences set aside, everybody pulling together to save the newfound paradise. Which, after much dramatics, they do. However, when they return to their arctic base to treat their wounds, regroup, and make their report, the magical gate closes and cannot be reopened. Worse yet, all the evidence of their adventure and their heroics is lost on the other side. When inspectors arrive at the base in response to the previous calls, the Ice Guard has little to show of the ‘magical land’ they helped save, and in fact they wind up being criticized and docked for expended ordnance and lost equipment that they cannot adequately account for. Their satistfaction at being heroes goes to zero faster than a rose dipped in liquid nitrogen.
But at least they’ll still have memories of their time in the sun.

[taalismn]

"Gentlemen! Welcome to Ice Guard Orientation. This is your cryo-hydrological kinetic effector device, manual operations, standard issue! You will drill with this every day! You will use this every day! You will be responsible for its maintenance and its readiness! You will become proficient in all aspects of it, because it may be the only thing standing between you and complete operational immobility! Any questions before we get down to learning all aspects of this vital device?"
"Sir, it's a snow shovel."
"Yes, that's what people down south often call this! Next question!"
"Sir, it's the first day of spring! Why are we being issued SNOW SHOVELS?"
"Because if it were still winter, we'd be using thermite grenades just to get out to and back from the outhouse! This is part of your warm weather gear issuance!"

[SRoss]

Normally we'd assign a raid like this to the Ice Guard, but with that bug going around, most of them are out of it. So we're giving it to Mauve.

Toombs: (Salutes) "We're proud to volunteer for this mission!"

Mowbray: "But sir, don't know anything about the operational area."

Lisa: "Don't worry the remaining members of Ice Guard are planning the attack."

Meanwhile...

Private Naomi Akina: "Are you sure about this?"

Leesa Segundo: "Of course, this valley makes a perfect attack route. The only thing they'll have to deal with is all these guys named S.A.M. on the map."

Private Naomi Akina: "Shouldn't we mark it on their maps?"

Leesa Segundo: "I'm not copying it that many times, they'll work it out."

[taalismn]

Normally we'd assign a raid like this to the Ice Guard, but with that bug going around, most of them are out of it. So we're giving it to Mauve.

Toombs: (Salutes) "We're proud to volunteer for this mission!"

Mowbray: "But sir, don't know anything about the operational area."

Lisa: "Don't worry the remaining members of Ice Guard are planning the attack."

Meanwhile...

Private Naomi Akina: "Are you sure about this?"

Leesa Segundo: "Of course, this valley makes a perfect attack route. The only thing they'll have to deal with is all these guys named S.A.M. on the map."

Private Naomi Akina: "Shouldn't we mark it on their maps?"

Leesa Segundo: "I'm not copying it that many times, they'll work it out."

This is eeriely like my real campaign where the PCs sent one of their own on a scouting flight down a canyon known to be hiding Tirolian anti-UEEF guerilla mecha...everybody was assigned a number of codes, including a verbal callsign, for recognition in the close quarters of the canyon. The scout (a Zentraedi in an REF Officer's Pod)promptly forgot hers, and immediately ran into the heaviest fighting of the campaign('flak alley' from all sides). Only the other PCs' recognition that only the offending PC was dumb enough to admit on an open channel to forgetting her own callsign saved her from being swisscheesed by friendly fire.

[taalismn]

Since SRoss opened the door(and let the heat out)

IceGuard: The New Generation
Not so much a new generation of Ice Guard personnel(and adventures) as the old ones thawed out in time for the Invid Invasion.
If anybody wanted proof that extreme cold slows down living things and metabolic processes, the fact that many of the same characters as started with the UEDF are still around, apparently unaged, when the UEEF Liberation Fleets come calling. Worse yet, is the fact that the IceGuard personnel seem to missing entire chunks of memory as to what happened during the intervening years.
Anybody with access to any comprehensive ASC records will discover that contact with Ice Guard was intermittant into the Southern Cross/Post-Pioneer leaving period, until finally cutting off entirely. Since IceGuard was intended as a gulag for people best left forgotten, it remained the cold little secret of a handful of high-placed UEG officials, so there weren't many people who particularly cared whether they vanished or not. And when enough interest in what happend to them percolated through to people who DID care enough to mount a comprehensive search for them, the Robotech Masters attack, throwing everything in disarray.

IceGuard's 'absence' can be explained away in a number of ways, none of them making particular sense, from a freak experiment with a Fold Drive that Folded TIME instead of space, covert experiments that used the entire staff in a mass cryohibernation test, an Aleut curse, a freak ice storm that buried the entire base and froze everybody solid(but unharmed), or everybody took a vacation to a side universe where time moved differently.
Whatever; the fact is, IceGuard is back, and they've found that parts of their base are now refuges for refugees from the Masters and the Invid, and even those who made it this far north are a pretty eccentric bunch.

The thing is, the IceGuard now could be a SERIOUS factor in the Invid and Haydonite Wars; they have stockpiles of non-Protoculture gear(and maybe some Protoculture stashed away), working communications, organization, and enough madness between all of them that they just be able to catch the Invid by surprise...or drive what Invid wander into the area to blithering madness themselves.

They may be out of touch with the times, their equipment may be creaky and obsolete by UEEF standards, but the soldiers of Ice Guard still are soldiers, and discovering that THEY may be the last and largest formally organized military command in the Northern Hemisphere may give put some steel in their spines and fire in their chests.

The time of IceGuard may have come at last. Time for the Invid(and the Haydonites) to experience an Ice Age?

[taalismn]

IceGuard New Generation can run one of three ways:

*GrimDark Arc---It’s an attempt to revive the franchise by revising it. New director, new attitude. From here on out it turns grim, with favorite established characters getting killed off, the humor becoming forced and gallows-type, and the future uncertain. The happy laugh days of the past are banished as the characters face up to the reality that THEY CANNOT HIDE.

*Short Version---The New Generation intro is actually the series finale; there’s only one or two episodes before the show ends, with the characters suddenly realizing the happy laugh days are over and they have to get serious. Major Alex Jones gives an inspirational speech like the ‘Ice Age’, and everybody looks south to the Invid-held lands with determination dawning on their faces as the sun breaks out of the long Arctic Night and the end credits roll.

*Improbable Continuation---The series continues, only now there’s a lot more action, and everything that seemed a hinderance, a danger, or an eccentricity in the earlier episodes now comes back to be revealed as a tactical advantage for Ice Guard now. They’re a fighting force now, and their oddballness is to their advantage. Each episode has them going into some incredible adventure against impossible odds, with them outnumbered, outclassed, and certain to die...only to pull off an upset by the thinnest of margins, or some miracle, or some freak happenstance, or some bizarrely convoluted plan none of the readers saw coming(although hints were dropped earlier).

Ice Guard New Generation: World Ideas

*Wild Kingdom---There’s a lot more wildlife around now, especially mutant polar bears. Anybody who was a first-hand survivor of the ‘Mister BuBu’ incident will have reason to be alarmed.
-Unless it’s discovered that Leesa Segundo and/or Naomi somehow can tame them.
-Then the furred dinosaurs, ice worms, land-walking killer whales, man-eating seals, walruses the size of whales, and other mutants start showing up. Yeah, they’re the products of the Alaska Base Genesis Pit, or escapees from the Russian Pit.

-Technological Advantage---Ice Guard’s predilection for making do with what they have pays off; especially if they have the opportunity to salvage stuff from several wars, like wrecked Zentraedi ships pushed up from the ice, crashed Tirolian secondary warships, icelocked and abandoned EBSIS submarine carrier, etc.. This can take the form of Frankenmecha, like Yeti Battloids, Sasquatch Bioroids, or Bigfoot Destroids, or other freaks. And/or some eccentric superscience that finally proves its worth; a new way of making SLMH on the cheap, tapping free energy from the aurora, or compact windblaster cannons.

-Looting is Ironic Revenge---A big step towards Ice Guard gaining logistical independence is the discovery, soon after Ice Guard ‘returns’, of the abandoned base of their Evil Rivals. The base can be wrecked as a result of an attack during the 2nd Robotech War, or can be still mostly intact and stocked, but in mothballs, abandoned when the Evil Rivals were withdrawn to fight the Masters or the Invid, and never returned. Now the Guard gets to loot the facilities, getting some better toys in the process, as well as intel on what they missed during their missing years.
However, it can also be an occasion for some personal discoveries---Major Jones, while going though the office of his opposite number, discovers the man’s journals....they can reveal a variety of things; such as how the guy felt about Jones and Ice Guard...this can be contemptuous, or even reveal the ERs’ active roll in various conspiracies against the Ice Guard(including whatever caused them to be time-lost?)...or it can be a confession of how the Evil Rivals secretly admired and respected the Ice Guard(for plugging along even when $#!+ was always being dumped on them), and mourned their disappearance.

-Snow Cult---The descendants of the Obnoxious Angry Eskimos are still around, only they’re now apparently part of a cult that has prophecized the return of Ice Guard, either to help them or to prank them.
-They’re riding giant mutant mammoths or giant huskies these days, just for a touch of weirdness.

-Strange New Allies---Ice Guard should pick up a few new members; refugees from the warmlands, surviving CWOS members, Tirolians stranded on the ice cap, maybe even a few Sentinels(part of a token force that managed to get attached to one of the Liberation Fleets) who made a bad navigation roll and crashed on the ice cap. They know little of Earth culture, and the Ice Guard is ignorant of who they are, so it’s a learning experience for both. Especially if aforementioned survivors of the ‘BuBu’ incident mistake the Karbarreans for mutant polar or grizzley bears, or the Praxians or Spherians for snowblind hallucinations.
Ideally, anybody new the Ice Guard picks up should have their own strange tale of woe and misfortune, and be somehow as demented as the Ice Guard is. Maybe the Sentinels’ group is their version of Mauve Squadron who managed to draw the short straw, or the Tirolians are SERIOUSLY defective triumvirate clones with consensus issues.

-The Evil Enemy---The Ice Guard’s new enemy is a Corg-like Invid Prince or Princess who is ruthless and psychopathic, and who has been cutting a swath through the Resistance of North America/Polar Asia, until he/she runs into Ice Guard, Each episode starts with a brilliant plan and a few atrocities against the hu-mans, and then the Invid run into the Ice Guard, who makes them look like idiots. This will have the Invid commander foaming at the mouth and he attempts to put an END to the infuriating ‘snow goons’. Even after the Invid leave, this psycho may stay behind just to finish off the human pests, or he gets left behind BECAUSE of the interference of the Ice Guard, sending him into an even greater fury and rage against them.
Later, this can be replaced by a Haydonite who’s trying to sneak down on Earth’s unguarded regions to pull off some evil plan, like fatally reversing Earth’s magnetic field or drop a black hole bomb into Earth’s core.

-Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?---At some point the Ice Guard starts receiving or rescuing refugees, some of whom stumble upon the Guard by themselves. One of them is a Gura-Invid Princess, though everybody thinks she’s a Zentraedi or other mutant. OF COURSE, the Princess/Lisa Hayes clone runs into Leesa Segundo/Lisa Hayes clone. This can go one of several ways; the two bond like long lost family, or Leesa thinks she’s found family, while the Invid Princess sees her as a rival Princess and tries to kill her off and/or eat her.
-Both get pregnant at the same time. Who is/are the father(s)?

-Hole in the Ground---At some point somebody suggests that if so much time has passed, the Grand Cannon might have cooled down enough for a salvage expedition to take a look-see for possible salvage. This leads to the Ice Guard mounting a scouting party that discovers the Geneis Pit and, going deeper, the Gura-Invid. This should set off alarm bells among the Ice Guard members if they encounter the Gura-Regis or any Princesses, provided they haven’t aready discovered their ‘guest’s’ alien nature already.

[taalismn]

I think I've found the basis for the naval version of Ice Guard:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealab_2021

...The UEDF froze their misfits. The Southern Cross SINKS theirs.
"I'm being transferred WHERE?! But I can't swim!"
"I think that's been taken into account."

[taalismn]

Necro, yes, but I argue anything Ice Guard moves with glacial slowness and frost heaves.

Got around to thinking about unit insignia for Ice Guard:

Blue and white seem the logical colors.
Iconography? Here's a few possibilities:
-Ice cube with a padlock frozen in it.
-Polar bear with a target on it.
-Iceberg with a guard shack on it.
-Snowman with a spear at port arms/

Possible mottos(to be translated into pidgin Latin)
-"Baby, it's cold outside."
-"Alone in the Cold."
-"Eternally On (the) Ice."
-":Let It Go."
-"Frozen and Forgotten."

[SRoss]

Necro, yes, but I argue anything Ice Guard moves with glacial slowness and frost heaves.

Got around to thinking about unit insignia for Ice Guard:

Blue and white seem the logical colors.
Iconography? Here's a few possibilities:
-Ice cube with a padlock frozen in it.
-Polar bear with a target on it.
-Iceberg with a guard shack on it.
-Snowman with a spear at port arms/

Possible mottos(to be translated into pidgin Latin)
-"Baby, it's cold outside."
-"Alone in the Cold."
-"Eternally On (the) Ice."
-":Let It Go."
-"Frozen and Forgotten."

Official or Unofficial?

Officially, probably the one with the Polar Bear. But, none of the mottos would do.

Unofficially, I'd think the one with the Padlock or the Guard shack with the last motto.

[taalismn]

Yep, officially, it would probably be something like "The Eyes of the North", or 'In Adversity, Eternal Fortitude."

[SRoss]

The IceGuard crew pace in front of the door, armed with various weapons.

"Wasn't there supposed to be a zombie attack?"

Cut To: Outside the front door to the base...

Chief Toombs and a horde of zombies frozen solid.