Robotech Blooper Reels

[SRoss]

"Why's Kyle going into the Producer's trailer with a baseball bat?"

"He just found out what the guy made Minmei do for the part..."

"I'll get the splatter protection, you microwave the popcorn..."

"We're going to insist on you actually singing your own lines. Lip-synching and CGI cover only so much from the diehard purists."
Minmei:(Bass voice) "You're kidding me, right?"

I'd...actually find that amusing.

But then, I think this scene from Space Balls is the funniest thing in the movie:
Druish Princess, singing: "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen/nobody knows the sorrows."
Lone Star: "She's a *bass!* Who knew?"

"There will be a slight delay in filming, while our producer. Mr. Weinstein, recovers from his concussion and neutering."

[taalismn]

Well, I did have the Spaceballs scene in mind for Minmei.

Director: "We're going to have to use the helium in all your speaking scenes."
Minmei: "But that dries up my throat something fierce! I'm a performer, not a deep sea diver!"

"No sir, we cannot send Minmei on a USO tour to the 37th like we did when we sent her to Ice Guard."
"Why NOT?! She -ENJOYED- her stay at Ice Guard! Completely missed the point of a gulag exile!"
"Well, sir, we can't FIND where the 37th is. And they've been declared renegade anyways."

[SRoss]

Kyle: "I think we finally made it to the Elysian Fields..."

Edwards: "How can you tell?"

Kyle: "Look!"

[taalismn]

Khyron: "You know, in the original Macross saga, I was credited with inventing the Glaug. Here, what am I responsible for?"
Grel: "You DID suggest adding the cup holder and the beaded massage mat, sir."

[SRoss]

Khyron: "You know, in the original Macross saga, I was credited with inventing the Glaug. Here, what am I responsible for?"
Grel: "You DID suggest adding the cup holder and the beaded massage mat, sir."

Random Zentraedi Trooper: "Wait! You invented the Ford Pinto of battle mechs!?!"

[taalismn]

Khyron: "You know, in the original Macross saga, I was credited with inventing the Glaug. Here, what am I responsible for?"
Grel: "You DID suggest adding the cup holder and the beaded massage mat, sir."

Random Zentraedi Trooper: "Wait! You invented the Ford Pinto of battle mechs!?!"

Destroid Pilot: (staring at the smoking hole blow through his cockpit and his lower torso by a PBC)":...If only..."

[SRoss]

Khyron: "You know, in the original Macross saga, I was credited with inventing the Glaug. Here, what am I responsible for?"
Grel: "You DID suggest adding the cup holder and the beaded massage mat, sir."

Random Zentraedi Trooper: "Wait! You invented the Ford Pinto of battle mechs!?!"

Destroid Pilot: (staring at the smoking hole blow through his cockpit and his lower torso by a PBC) "...If only..."

"Great firepower but..." (Rubs greasy hamburger wrapper on the torso of the pod, which immediately turns transparent)

[taalismn]

"Great firepower but..." (Rubs greasy hamburger wrapper on the torso of the pod, which immediately turns transparent)

"Ah, those are the background mecha for the big fight scenes. They're actually little more than 2D cardboard puppets...mook fodder."

[SRoss]

Moran: "I've talked to the Robotech Masters, and they say they didn't do it. I believe them."

Nova: (Face Palms)

[taalismn]

Moran: "I've talked to the Robotech Masters, and they say they didn't do it. I believe them."

Nova: (Face Palms)

Moran: "I believe my intelligence people."
Leonard: "I note that you do not identify them as being part. of the branches of the Southern Cross..."
***
Marie Crystal: "It's heartening to know that when the coup takes place, the GMP and the Civil Defense Corp Investigatory Division will be firmly on our side..."
Dennis Brown: "...If not actually responsible for planning it in the first place."

[SRoss]

Nova: "See, and now if you google dunce, Dana's face pops up."

Dana:

[SRoss]

Dana: "What do you mean I'm being transferred to Voltron!?!"

"Yes, you've been assigned to be Pidge's stunt double."

[taalismn]

Dana: "What do you mean I'm being transferred to Voltron!?!"

"Yes, you've been assigned to be Pidge's stunt double."

Actually, that's Magruder's new job......

[SRoss]

Dana: "What do you mean I'm being transferred to Voltron!?!"

"Yes, you've been assigned to be Pidge's stunt double."

Actually, that's Magruder's new job......

Charon: "Who are you again?"

[taalismn]

Dana: "What do you mean I'm being transferred to Voltron!?!"

"Yes, you've been assigned to be Pidge's stunt double."

Actually, that's Magruder's new job......

Charon: "Who are you again?"

Magruder: "It was a ways back,,,,,but reflexive shot to the head, snake bite, jaguar ambush, giant eagle grabbing me...remember?"
Charon: "Ah yes, the love-blind jungle hormone in quest of manhood!"
Magruder: "...not what I want in my resume..."

[SRoss]

Regess: (Seductively) "I could make you a man."

Magruder: (Clinging to Charon) "Eeek!"

Regess: "No, really, the Hideauze got nothing on me."

[taalismn]

Magruder: "Who's the little guy under the robe? A Jawa?"
Charon: "Your manhood. Your experiences basically killed your interest in sex."

[SRoss]

Magruder: "Who's the little guy under the robe? A Jawa?"
Charon: "Your manhood. Your experiences basically killed your interest in sex."

Wandering Otaku: "HEY LOOK!" (Pointing at Magruder) "It's Tomoki from Heaven's Lost Property!"

[taalismn]

A return to some classic bloopers:

Lisa Hayes finds Karl Riber's cabin at Mars Base Sara. This time she has enough time to identify his personal journal and start reading it;
"My love I have thoughts only of you, every day, every hour-" "Oh, that's so sweet of him-"
"My heart yearns for your touch, and to hear the words of passion pass your lips-" "Oh MY."(blush)
"I can hardly wait for shift's end to hold you in my arms again, my darling Renee-" "I miss you holding me too, Karl-----wait, RENEE?!"
"I want to start a family with you, dearest Renee, and when we get out of the service, we can get married and have a long honeymoon. I already have in mind a good nanny for our kids, a rather staid and unimaginative young girl, but she takes orders well-"
It's at this point she looks around the cabin again, verifying it is indeed Karl's....and she starts seeing what she missed previously....several pieces of women's underthings, some of it quite racy, lying amongst the male garments.

Outside, Rick Hunter is about to smash in the cabin window and grab his commanding officer, who hasn't been responding to inquiries, when with a sudden BLAM he can feel even through the thin Martian air, the window is forcibly ejected from the wall and sent flying in a burst of flaming debris across the base concourse.
Fearing the worst, Rick zips his VF up closer, guns hot, when spacesuited Lisa emerges from the smoke and fire, practically GLOWING in rage.
"YOU! Underling! Get me the hell out of here!"
Confused and increasingly afraid, Rick complies, extending the hand of his Gerwalk for the Commander to board and they're soon quickly flying away from the doomed base, when it explodes.
Rick pretends not to hear as Commander Hayes mutters ".. burn in HELL, you two-timing bastard ..."

[SRoss]

The streets of Macross, shortly after the battle of Mars Base Sara...

Kyle is walking down the street when Lisa stomps up to him with angry, tear-filled eyes.

Lisa: "KARL! YOU TWO-TIMING BASTARD!" (Kicks Kyle in the crotch)

As Lisa stomps off.

Kyle: (Lying on the ground in a fetal position) "Who's Karl?"

[taalismn]

The streets of Macross, shortly after the battle of Mars Base Sara...

Kyle is walking down the street when Lisa stomps up to him with angry, tear-filled eyes.

Lisa: "KARL! YOU TWO-TIMING BASTARD!" (Kicks Kyle in the crotch)

As Lisa stomps off.

Kyle: (Lying on the ground in a fetal position) "Who's Karl?"

Claudia: "At this rate she's either going to become a nun, a man-hating spinster, or a lesbian. Our best hope may be the last one, because I'm not sure we want to share the bridge with Sister Lisa, and Captain Gloval is already afraid of her after she nearly tore his mustache off."
Vanessa: "Or we could arrange for her to have a meaningful, stable, relationship with a reliable man."
Kim: "Risky. If she caught wind of what we were planning. We can try. Now who-"
Claudia: "Roy's out. He's mine."
Kim: "Wasn't about to suggest it."
Vanessa: "We need somebody with vouch-for credentials, yet still expendable enough that she can dump him and get some catharsis in the bargain."
Sammy: "Hmmm...only person I can think of is... that new lieutenant..."
Kim, Vanessa, Sammy: "Rick Hunter!"

Max: "You okay, el-tee?"
Ben: "Yeah, that looked painful!"
Rick: "Never had anything happen to me like that before! Never had a sneeze that felt like I was trying to expel my entire upper skeleton all at once! Or that my skin was dipped in liquid nitrogen!"

[glitterboy2098]

could be worse.. they could be trying to hook her up with Gloval.

[SRoss]

could be worse.. they could be trying to hook her up with Gloval.

Azonia: "Russia's greatest love machine is mine!"

[taalismn]

VO: "To prove the strength of new Z-brand Adhesive, we've superglued this young lieutenant in his shoes outside the cabin of his superior officer-"
(POV shows Rick Hunter in dress uniform, with a bouquet in his hands, frantically pulling at his legs, in front of Lisa Hayes' quarters)
Rick: "Oh come on, guys, what the hell did you do to me?!"
Behind him, Lisa's door opens.

Roy: "I'm not entirely comfortable with putting Rick in harm's way like that, even with the explanation you gave me. Usually, when I send somebody in the path of peril, they have a Veritech around them to give them a fighting chance."
Claudia: "It's for the best for both of them."
Kim: "Sometimes you HAVE to sacrifice a virgin to appease the dragon."

[SRoss]

Kyle: "Um, why are we out here in the desert again?"

Edwards: "Because that orange haired moron will pay us 5.7 Billion to put up a steel slat border wall."

Kyle: "But these are just Popsicle sticks!"

Edwards: "Hey, anyone dumb enough to blow that kinda cash on a worthless wall isn't going to know the difference!"

Meanwhile on the other side, an Invid Scout and a bunch of Shock Troopers in Sombreros...

Invid Scout: "We wait til the Gringos finish their work, then we tear it down around them..."

[taalismn]

Kyle: "Um, why are we out here in the desert again?"

Edwards: "Because that orange haired moron will pay us 5.7 Billion to put up a steel slat border wall."

Kyle: "But these are just Popsicle sticks!"

Edwards: "Hey, anyone dumb enough to blow that kinda cash on a worthless wall isn't going to know the difference!"

Meanwhile on the other side, an Invid Scout and a bunch of Shock Troopers in Sombreros...

Invid Scout: "We wait til the Gringos finish their work, then we tear it down around them..."

Two Bioroids come up to the fence, stick a long crowbar between the slats, and PUSH, levering down a stretch of them to form a ramp, over which a horde of Tirolian clones, who have been waiting in the bushes nearby, rush up, over, and through to the other side.


Zentraedi just steps over it.

[taalismn]

"Greetings, Salutations! I, Khyron send you all joyous cheer and best wishes! I, my beautiful wife Sammy, and our many daughters wish you all a merry and safe Christmas, Kwanza, Yule, Seasonal Holidays! We bid you much merriment, healthful libations, roast beast, figgy pudding, family gatherings, exchanges of gifts and tokens of affection! Enjoy! Celebrate! Rejoice! That is your Imperative! Go forth and be merry!"
"Well said, love. That was Grel on the phone; he called to say he can't make it tomorrow, but he'll definitely make New Years. Oh, and your cousin Ifurita's going to drop by tomorrow with her husband Makoto."
"Most excellent! I look forward to seeing Grel again, and meeting Ifurita's husband again! A clever young man!"
"Honey, when's the last time you heard from Geraro?"
"Just yesterday in fact! He and Leonard are going icefishing-"


Anatole Leonard and Geraro are sitting in an ice fishing hut.
Leonard: "Check your line?"
Geraro nods, pulls up his line; there are two bottles of beer attached to the end.
Geraro: "Cold enough."
Leonard: "Perfect."
They break off the caps and clink bottles.
"Happy Holidays."

[xunk16]

Well... 260 pages... let's hope I don't accidentally copy someone else.

Interviewer : So… How was it to be on the set of Robotech in the 80s and once again, now, in 2025 to film the sentinels?
Wolf : Oh… You know. The usual. Except now instead of makeup we get these nice CGI effects to keep me looking young.
Interviewer : Really? But we barely notice you’d aged at all!
Wolf : Yeah, right… If that makes you happy.
Interviewer : So. What would be your favourite memory of all this time?
Wolf : Hum… That’s a good one. Wait… There’s so many.
Interviewer : Would it be about a girl?
Wolf : God no! Most of the time between scenes I was hanging out with the guys doing the Invid; for the air conditioner. I guess the thing I miss the most would be Brad, the guy who did the Regent. He had such a sense of humour, always paying ice cream for his “little snails” as he called them.
* Wipes a tear *
Wolf : Sorry… I just… He died from diabetes last year, you know…

////////////////////////////

* Breetai seizes Max’s sterling VF-1, ram a knee right in the abdomen of its battloid form then project it right into the wall *

CRASH

Director : Damn it. The darn wall fell again. Breetai! Be careful.
Breetai : Sorry… and better call the props department, we’ll need a new cockpit.
Rick's VF: DUDE! You got to stop breaking this stuff! You're not supposed to hit us so hard!
Guy in VF-1 costume : … Help… I think I broke my arm…

///////////////////////////////

* Two regults walks into position on the left of two more which seems rather two dimensional… *

BOOM.

* Only the one on the right is still standing *

Director : CUT! Sh “Beep”! We use these cardboard stand-in for a reason, who bombed the animatronics?

////////////////////////////////

Dixon : Don’t worry fearless leader, as long as I’m here, nothing bad will happens.
Rick : Dixon, you have an officer’s pod on your 6. Evasive manoeuvres… NOW!
Dixon : I can’t shake it… I can’t!
* String holding Glaug’s miniature breaks, Glaug falls out of screen *
Rick : Well, that’s settled.
Dixon : F “beep” … The pyrotechnics already started in here, fire crew please!

Director : cUUUUUTTTT!!!!

////////////////////////////////////////////////
* Lisa coming in depressed, nearly crying. Today is the day she gives up the force…
She looking toward her commanding officer, hidden in the cut out lightning and shadows of the sunset on the bridge of the SDF-1. Gloval turns toward her and walk into the light, a very paternal and concerned looks on his face.
They stand here for about 10 seconds. *

Gloval : Don’t worry Lisa. Even the best of us will, from time to time, forget our lines.

* Lisa looks like she’s going to burst, either in frustration or in tears *

Gloval : It’s alright. I’m an Invid simulagent too you know.
Lisa ( In Shock) : … You WHAT?

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Zor : You know… it’s enough you follow me everywhere in the script, but in real life, in the showers? What’s your thing? You’re a method actor or something?
Dante : No. It’s just… How in hell do you keep your hairs curved up like that?
Zor : That’s not of your damn business, now buzz off!

*Leonard creeps back in the distance, looking disappointed *

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

*Dana’s bath scene *
* Phone’s ringing. *

Cameraman #1 : "Beep"… do we cut?
Director : Na… We’ll have to dub in the narration anyway. KEEP Rolling. Continue Dana.
* Phone’s ringing *
Dana : Guy’s seriously, I’m supposed to look like I’m giving a F “beep” about the Red Bioroid pilot in here. Can someone answer that damn thing?
*Phone’s ringing *
*Crew search frantically for the source *

Dana : Oh… Wait, that’s my twitter alert!

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Master #1 : Now they’ve done it. We’ve lost communication with the Zentroodi fl...
Master #2 : It’s “Traedi”.
Master #1 : ...eet. Would it be possible that the disciple of Zod had beaten…
Master #3 : IT’S “ZOR”!
Master #1 : I’m pretty sure it’s Zod. Now would you please both shut up and let me tell my line!

Director : Cut… * facepalm * Who did the cast on these three?

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

*An Invid shocktrooper is searching the forest, somewhere he knows, a human renegade is hiding.
Suddenly he stops and shudders, his arms go limp and flailing a little.
Then, like turned mad by a silent dog whistle from hell, he starts banging his own head like trying to rip it appart*

Invid #1 : ARGH! Get me out of here, there is a spider in the suit! GET ME OUT!!!!
Invid #2 : Well, if we’re getting him down time, can I have a soda? It’s so damn hot in here.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Rand : How can she sleeps in a place like this?
Scott : Oh… I don’t know. Children can sleep anywhere…
* Long Silence *
Rand (Whispering ) : Isn’t she supposed to get up and get all scary?
* More Silence *
Scott : Hey Annie!
* No Answer *
Scott : ANNIE! HEY! WAKE UP! Damn… I guess Kids CAN sleep anywhere.
* Swat a mosquito in disgust *

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Wolf : Catherine… Jhonny… Oh…
Scott : Jonathan, you saved our lives. You were a…
Wolf : (Laugh hysterically) Oh… Oh get over it kid, you’re so f”beep”ing damn serious, I can’t rest in peace here. (Laugh some more). So… (laugh) Sorry (laugh.) Hu-Hum. I’ll do one more. But damn, you’d almost believe I did something right. Downplay it a little, will ya?

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Interviewer : But, going back to the beginning, how was it to work with Minmei?
Wolf : You mean Sarah? Oh… She’s a true nuclear. To be fair I had better chemistry with her double though.
Intervewer : If we’re to believe the scuttlebutt on the sets, you've had chemistry with all the girls.
Wolf : Me? You’re joking right... Right?
Interviewer : And what about the allegations made by Sarah’s agent that you…
Wolf : Stop this. I’ve had enough of this, of you, there was nothing you hear? NOTHING!
* Stand up and walks directly toward the camera to punch it.*

[taalismn]

Well... 260 pages... let's hope I don't accidentally copy someone else.

Master #1 : Now they’ve done it. We’ve lost communication with the Zentroodi fl...
Master #2 : It’s “Traedi”.
Master #1 : ...eet. Would it be possible that the disciple of Zod had beaten…
Master #3 : IT’S “ZOR”!
Master #1 : I’m pretty sure it’s Zod. Now would you please both shut up and let me tell my line!*

This reminds me of a scene from the 1950s 'Ivanhoe' where a supposedly hardcore English knight speaks up with a very DISTINCT Bronx accent:
"Yanda is the castle of my fadda."

[thorr-kan]

Of course, after the hangover and discovering what the bar tab is, Edwards discovers a new reason to kill Fokker...

Nah, he only stood that round.

Besides, these guys are fighter pilots. They don't get hangovers; pure O2 is your friend. Or a tab; they might not live to pay it...

Are we confusing fighter pilots or actors here?
Because if they're actors playing fighter pilots, they might not get that discount from the real thing.

Oh, hey, I missed this one back in the day.

They're *method actors.* If they're in uniform, they *are* fighter pilots. And nothing can convince them otherwise.

[taalismn]

[

They're *method actors.* If they're in uniform, they *are* fighter pilots. And nothing can convince them otherwise.

"My 'method' is to insist on using live ammunition in my dogfight scenes."
"Just so you remember, the Zentraedi in this scene will also be using live ammunition."

Credits Scroll Line:
'Special Thanks to the Grel'than Squadron and Tantaro Transportation Wing of the Bolivian Air Force"

[taalismn]

(opening shot of an open plain...POV pans right...nothing.....pans left...still nothing.
Then jumping in from over the POV is a Battlepod. It lands, bobs with the absorbed landing shock, straightens up, swings right, then swings left attentively.
Then, very much like a bird, it lifts one of its legs and rapidly scratches behind its thruster with the foot-pad. It repeats the same action with the other side.
Then with a sound like an ostrich, it runs off-screen)


(-If Robotech were animated by Pixar)

[DairuggerXV]

Nova *sees a pair of rabbit ears on a Logan*: This is Dana's fault I know it.
Dana *in the brig*: "I've been in here all week."
Nova: "Then explain the rabbit ears!"
Dana: "Year of the rabbit. You really don't know the military well if you think I'm the only prankster."
Nova: "It's 2030, year of the dog, so they should be having dog ears."
Dana *shrugs*: "Chinese Zodiac, maybe. This is the internet zodiac, last year was the year of the Waifu."

[taalismn]

Nova *sees a pair of rabbit ears on a Logan*: This is Dana's fault I know it.
Dana *in the brig*: "I've been in here all week."
Nova: "Then explain the rabbit ears!"
Dana: "Year of the rabbit. You really don't know the military well if you think I'm the only prankster."
Nova: "It's 2030, year of the dog, so they should be having dog ears."
Dana *shrugs*: "Chinese Zodiac, maybe. This is the internet zodiac, last year was the year of the Waifu."

Nova: "But the internet is OWNED by the Chinese."
Louie: "Hey, not for long."
Bowie: "Nova, when he starts cackling madly, it's your fault."

[DairuggerXV]

Elsewhere, Moran is getting a call from Beijing wondering why images Meltrandi in bunny suits keep showing up everytime they attempt new internet policies.
Moran: "Well, you really don't want to watch the news. People are rather livid about the anti-meme rules and crack-down on open content."

[taalismn]

Meanwhile, one of Khyron's ships gets taken out by a free-orbiting Tesla ramming it in the bridge....

[DairuggerXV]

Khyron: "Why do the micronians leave so much junk in space?"
Azonia: "Have you seen what they've done to their planet?"
Khyron: "I don't know, it still looks better than what the Masters have done to Tirol."
Azonia: "You've seen Tirol?"
Khyron: "Yeah, back when I was doing honor guard duty. Why do you think I'm filled with so much rage?"

[taalismn]

Khyron: "Why do the micronians leave so much junk in space?"
Azonia: "Have you seen what they've done to their planet?"
Khyron: "I don't know, it still looks better than what the Masters have done to Tirol."
Azonia: "You've seen Tirol?"
Khyron: "Yeah, back when I was doing honor guard duty. Why do you think I'm filled with so much rage?"

Khyron the Environmentalist----There's an alternate Zentraedi to -fear-.
He doesn't just scare the bejesus out of the whalers and polluters, he VAPORIZES them.

[DairuggerXV]

Khyron *watches Captain Planet*: "Heart should have been rage."
Azonia: "Khyron, what the **** are you talking about?"
Khyron goes into an extended diatribe about how "heart" as a power was a mistake.
Azonia: "Alright, I didn't want to do this, but you are going to therapy."

[taalismn]

Azonia: "Alright, I didn't want to do this, but you are going to therapy."

Aaaaannnd there goes the entire Prozac supply for this galactic arm.

[DairuggerXV]

The people from the Crossover thread already raided this galaxy trying to fix Shinji. The therapists were horrified when they learned the best cure came from Leonard encouraging Shinji to torture Gendo. They have since had to move on to more advanced methods of treatment involving the Garudan Hin along with some psionic guidance from a licensed therapist.

[taalismn]

The people from the Crossover thread already raided this galaxy trying to fix Shinji. The therapists were horrified when they learned the best cure came from Leonard encouraging Shinji to torture Gendo. They have since had to move on to more advanced methods of treatment involving the Garudan Hin along with some psionic guidance from a licensed therapist.

"Paging Doctor Van Pelt. Paging Doctor Van Pelt. Please call Admitting, Doctor Van Pelt."

[DairuggerXV]

Dr. Deanna McCoy: "Now, Khyron, think back to the first thing that made you the backstabber."
Khyron: "Well, it was back when I was an honor guard on Tirol. I saw a micronian bear thing knock over this beautiful tree I had been watching. Another honor guard was going to report me, so I shot him. I was then blamed for the tree."
Dr. Deanna McCoy *lets the Hin in the room*: "What would you say made the tree so special."
Khyron: "IT was my first love."
Hallucinogenic Tree: "Well, this is awkward."

[taalismn]

"Because 'Backstabber' sounds much more martial than 'Tree hugger', especially if you know the lewd context of the latter."