The 37th Deep Ones ASC Sea Sqaud(Paordy)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 8:08 pm

Dana and her knights surround the 37[sup]th[/sup] and teleport them sub and all to a stormy lake beneath Yggdrasil...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 8:11 pm

SRoss wrote:Dana and her knights surround the 37[sup]th[/sup] and teleport them sub and all to a stormy lake beneath Yggdrasil...

Skuld: "....that's one big lot of chaos bugs in the sump...Gonna have to use one of my bombs for this one."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Aug 23, 2016 10:14 pm

"No, you are NOT allowed to connect the ship's flush toilets to the torpedo tubes...."

(flashback)
(Surface ship sonar officer) "Captain! We have an acoustic contact eighteen degrees off our starboard bow...about four klicks! Sir, it's a big one! Warbook computer makes her out to be a boomer, at least, but not who......SIR! WE HAVE TORPEDO BLOWS! MULTIPLE LAUNCHES!!!!"
"HARD APORT!!!EVASIVE!!! ASW ON ACTIVE!!!! GET ME LAUNCHERS!!! NOW!!!"

(Below)
"My god, Petra...what the hell did you put in that stuff?! I can STILL hear everybody's guts rumbling-"
"Captain, I don't think that's indigestion you're hearing-"

(end flashback)
"-so just pull the connections before you even finish replacing the outer hull plates."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Sep 05, 2016 7:35 pm

"You know, I really wish we didn't always have to surface in the middle of a tropical storm!"
"It's the only way we can surface and not get lit up by every ASW aircraft in the ocean!!!"
"I know!!! I'm just sayyyyyiiiinnnngggg!!!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:34 am

"So Captain, are you coming to the Halloween Party?"

Captain Morgan: "No. I think I'll just stay up on deck and drink until that song gets out of my head..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:44 pm

SRoss wrote:"So Captain, are you coming to the Halloween Party?"

Captain Morgan: "No. I think I'll just stay up on deck and drink until that song gets out of my head..."

Captain Morgan: "Thank God they're not doing The Safety Dance."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 8:22 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:"So Captain, are you coming to the Halloween Party?"

Captain Morgan: "No. I think I'll just stay up on deck and drink until that song gets out of my head..."

Captain Morgan: "Thank God they're not doing The Safety Dance."

It said, the uploader hasn't made it available in this country.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:11 pm

SRoss wrote:"So Captain, are you coming to the Halloween Party?"

Captain Morgan: "No. I think I'll just stay up on deck and drink until that song gets out of my head..."

"Captain...you do that WHATEVER happens around here."
"Why mess with something that WORKS?"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 12:04 am

Crewmen#1:"well you can dance if you wa-(flying great pumpkin of death splash!)
Linus:"Thanks great pumpkin.no one wanted that in their heads."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 7:42 pm

batlchip wrote:Crewmen#1:"well you can dance if you wa-(flying great pumpkin of death splash!)
Linus:"Thanks great pumpkin.no one wanted that in their heads."

Captain Morgan: "I don't recognize the new kid with the blanket."
EO Jones: "That's cadet Van Pelt, he's part of the sail camp sailing semester program we agreed to be part of."
Morgan: (giving Jones the hairy eyeball) "We DID?"
Jones: "And pass up having free help? You bet we did."
Morgan: "I have the feeling that even if I completely sober up, I'm not going to remember agreeing to just such a thing. Am I right?"
Jones: "Liquor does funny things to people, sir."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 15, 2016 11:50 pm

Captain Morgan: "I see we're back with those IceGuard reprobates. What's your take on this ensign Waialiki."

Moana: "Don't worry sir! The ice will quickly melt and the Ocean is my friend."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 12:44 am

SRoss wrote:Captain Morgan: "I see we're back with those IceGuard reprobates. What's your take on this ensign Waialiki."

Moana: "Don't worry sir! The ice will quickly melt and the Ocean is my friend."

////SPLASH////
"WILL YOU QUIT IT WITH THE WET WILLIES ALREADY, ENSIGN????!!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 5:21 pm

Crewman #1: "In the Navy!"
Crewman #2: "Where you can sail the Seven Seas!"
Crewman #1: "In the Navy!"
Captain: "Finish that song and I'll have you lot in front of a firing squad."

Crewman #1: "Captain doesn't have a thing for ancient pop music."
Crewman #2: "Seriously."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 8:21 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Crewman #1: "In the Navy!"
Crewman #2: "Where you can sail the Seven Seas!"
Crewman #1: "In the Navy!"
Captain: "Finish that song and I'll have you lot in front of a firing squad."
Crewman #1: "Captain doesn't have a thing for ancient pop music."
Crewman #2: "Seriously."

An Indian Chief, a Construction Worker and a guy in Biker Leathers sneak off to have a word with the Captain.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 9:19 pm

SRoss wrote:[

An Indian Chief, a Construction Worker and a guy in Biker Leathers sneak off to have a word with the Captain.

"May I remind you gentlemen that I am a PIRATE and this sword isn't just for opening my mail."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 9:05 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

An Indian Chief, a Construction Worker and a guy in Biker Leathers sneak off to have a word with the Captain.

"May I remind you gentlemen that I am a PIRATE and this sword isn't just for opening my mail."

Ben: "Captain! About the sword... Engineering has been using the WD-40 to try and get it out of it's scabbard, but its rusted in there good. They'd like permission cannibalize one of the Reflex Torpedoes to try and blast it out..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 9:13 pm

SRoss wrote:[

Ben: "Captain! About the sword... Engineering has been using the WD-40 to try and get it out of it's scabbard, but its rusted in there good. They'd like permission cannibalize one of the Reflex Torpedoes to try and blast it out..."

"Never mind, I'll just use my deck cannon."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Dec 15, 2016 6:50 pm

The 37[sup]th[/sup] stealthily moves up the Mekong...

Private Orange: "Sir! Engineering has finished modifying the sub! We'll be sure to beat the IceGuard this year!"

Morgan: "Wha?"

Private Lime: "HIT IT!"

Morgan: "You think the Zentraedi know we're here?"

Jones: "Don't see how they could miss us now..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Dec 15, 2016 6:56 pm

Sadly, their underwater light display is mistaken for a mating display by the apex aquatic predator of the polar waters, the KrystalKraken....

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Dec 15, 2016 8:44 pm

As it mounts the sub, the bikini clad Zentraedi females point and laugh...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Dec 15, 2016 9:08 pm

SRoss wrote:As it mounts the sub, the bikini clad Zentraedi females point and laugh...

"I'm going to try scrapping it off on that reef!"
"And if you can't?"
"We just go closer the next time!"
"And what if we get TOO close?!"
"...better hope hull integrity holds...."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:15 am

"We don't wanna lose those Zentraedi females, though."
"Good point!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:58 pm

Arnie100 wrote:"We don't wanna lose those Zentraedi females, though."
"Good point!"

Actually they're all on the shore laughing at us...

Zentraedi: (Wearing a Brazilian style thong) "Aaaww. The poor Micronians. They can't even handle a little baby KrystalKraken." :lol:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:54 pm

37th Crew: (Staring at the Zentreadi women...) :cry:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:32 pm

'That reminds me...you idiots CANNOT justify your inflatable sexdolls as 'emergency flotation devices'."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:05 pm

taalismn wrote:"'That reminds me...you idiots CANNOT justify your inflatable sex dolls as 'emergency flotation devices'."

"Emergency Flotation Device? Mine's been standing watch for me."

"Aren't you our lookout!?!"

"Yeah."

"This actually explains a lot."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:10 pm

SRoss wrote:
"Emergency Flotation Device? Mine's been standing watch for me."

"Aren't you our lookout!?!"

"Yeah."

"This actually explains a lot."

"Yes, like why we actually manage to get warnings during your watch-shift."
"Why-"
"Barometric air pressure warnings, but warnings nevertheless."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:36 pm

Jones: "I don't even wanna know what the crew does with those things..." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:57 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Jones: "I don't even wanna know what the crew does with those things..."

"Well, we did confiscate one and used it as a diving lift bag."
"...that's because it was a FULL SIZE female zentraedi blow-up doll. You could raise a sunken patrol boat using that thing."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:31 pm

Jones:

"How did they get that on the boat and where did they have the space to use it?!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 1:30 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Jones: "How did they get that on the boat and where did they have the space to use it?!"

"Could be worse. Remember the time they tested it by filling it with helium, and it lifted the sub into the stratosphere?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:08 pm

Jones:

"The TASC thought we were some kind of UFO..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:50 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Jones: "The TASC thought we were some kind of UFO..."

"And then Marie shot it full of holes and we free falled into Perl Harbor."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:22 pm

Jones: "I still haven't been able to explain that to Naval Command..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:45 pm

Mrgan: "We were lucky to get out of there alive. Who'd have though that Admiral Jaworski would be put in charge of the Pearl Crater base? Or that he still hadn't forgiven me for...well, I mean, that he would misidentify us as an enemy-"
Jones: "...just what the HELL did you do to that guy?! There were even armed Zodiacs coming after us!!!"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 12:11 pm

taalismn wrote:Mrgan: "We were lucky to get out of there alive. Who'd have though that Admiral Jaworski would be put in charge of the Pearl Crater base? Or that he still hadn't forgiven me for...well, I mean, that he would misidentify us as an enemy-"
Jones: "...just what the HELL did you do to that guy?! There were even armed Zodiacs coming after us!!!"

Helmsman :"Does it have anything to do with the blonde wig ,mini-skirt and broken camera?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 1:03 pm

batlchip wrote:
taalismn wrote:Mrgan: "We were lucky to get out of there alive. Who'd have though that Admiral Jaworski would be put in charge of the Pearl Crater base? Or that he still hadn't forgiven me for...well, I mean, that he would misidentify us as an enemy-"
Jones: "...just what the HELL did you do to that guy?! There were even armed Zodiacs coming after us!!!"

Helmsman :"Does it have anything to do with the blonde wig ,mini-skirt and broken camera?"

Morgan: "Ol' man Jaworski's always been notoriously short-sighted..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 1:11 pm

taalismn wrote:
batlchip wrote:
taalismn wrote:Mrgan: "We were lucky to get out of there alive. Who'd have though that Admiral Jaworski would be put in charge of the Pearl Crater base? Or that he still hadn't forgiven me for...well, I mean, that he would misidentify us as an enemy-"
Jones: "...just what the HELL did you do to that guy?! There were even armed Zodiacs coming after us!!!"

Helmsman :"Does it have anything to do with the blonde wig ,mini-skirt and broken camera?"

Morgan: "Ol' man Jaworski's always been notoriously short-sighted..."

Jaworski: "NEARSIGHTED! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE DANA STERLING! ALL UNITS! FIRE FOR AFFECT!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 5:51 pm

(Down Below...)

Charon: (Looking at the 37th crew...) "I was wondering how long it would take for you to get here!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:37 pm

SRoss wrote:
Jaworski: "NEARSIGHTED! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE DANA STERLING! ALL UNITS! FIRE FOR AFFECT!!!"

Morgan: "...you should thank me for saving your life."

Bowie Grant: "What's wrong, Dana?"
Dana Sterling:"---I have a sudden urge to shell the sea, for some reason."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 9:54 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Jaworski: "NEARSIGHTED! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE DANA STERLING! ALL UNITS! FIRE FOR AFFECT!!!"

Morgan: "...you should thank me for saving your life."

Bowie Grant: "What's wrong, Dana?"
Dana Sterling: "---I have a sudden urge to shell the sea, for some reason."

Musica: "Well, the main cannons are up and running." :mrgreen:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 10:19 pm

SRoss wrote:[

Musica: "Well, the main cannons are up and running."

Really...the Masters' Motherships didn't have the hellacious firepower of the Zentraedi Fleet, or even monitor-style auxiliaries...othewise they'd have held Earth's cities for ransom..It isn't until the final kamikaze battles that we see the corvettes with 'nuke'm til they glow' capability.

So...
Jones: "Ehm! Looks like somebody's trying to boil the oceans again to get at us. Bets on how many new volcanic island chains they start this time?"
"Come on, all they're really doing is stirring up the muck on the bottom. Makes it that much easier for us to hide."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 10:53 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

Musica: "Well, the main cannons are up and running."

Really...the Masters' Motherships didn't have the hellacious firepower of the Zentraedi Fleet, or even monitor-style auxiliaries...othewise they'd have held Earth's cities for ransom..It isn't until the final kamikaze battles that we see the corvettes with 'nuke'm til they glow' capability.

So...
Jones: "Ehm! Looks like somebody's trying to boil the oceans again to get at us. Bets on how many new volcanic island chains they start this time?"
"Come on, all they're really doing is stirring up the muck on the bottom. Makes it that much easier for us to hide."

Navigator: (To the Helmsman) "Um, Captain and Mr. Jones know the water here's only 40 feet deep, right?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Dec 18, 2016 11:27 pm

SRoss wrote:[

Navigator: (To the Helmsman) "Um, Captain and Mr. Jones know the water here's only 40 feet deep, right?"

"What are we still doing in littoral waters, helmsman?"

"Damnit! Forgot about the rocket propulsion they have on those damned subs of theirs!"
:Why don;t OUR subs have super-cavitating drives?"
"Because we're not crazy enough to fuel our ships with hydrogen peroxide and kerosene?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 11:31 am

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

Navigator: (To the Helmsman) "Um, Captain and Mr. Jones know the water here's only 40 feet deep, right?"

"What are we still doing in littoral waters, helmsman?"

"Littoral waters? We're still stuck in the mud at Perl!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 2:58 pm

(Down Below...)

Charon: (Looking at the 37th crew...) "So, you never even left Pearl Crater? BAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:41 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(Down Below...)

Charon: (Looking at the 37th crew...) "So, you never even left Pearl Crater? BAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Captain! I'm reading deep water right under us!!!"
"Well, what are you waiting for?! DIVE! DIVE!"

Charon: "...okay, let me get this straight...somebody ordered an orbital strike on a place that had already seen an orbital strike, and somehow managed to miss the target...but punch a hole in reality, coincidentally right above where we're standing, therefore permitting previously mentioned fugitive target to high dive into the water directly beloe...meaning that we now have deathtrap killer submarine at large loose in the River Styx?"
Fury(the classic Greek one, not Director of SHIELD): "...yeah, that sounds about right...sounds pretty absurd the way you put it."
Charon:"I wanted desperately to believe I hadn't heard you correctly. I'm half-tempted to try to drink the River Lethe in order to forget all this...and also half-tempted to just call vacation time or sick leave and tell the Boss Man to shove it if he tells me I don't get vacations and I don't get sick."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:33 pm

Fury: "Well; uhm, you're DEAD...or DEADISH...how can you get sick?"
Charon: "That's beside the point."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 11:56 am

"Well Captain, according to sonar, the one on the right is Scylla, and the one on the left is Charybdis."

Morgan: "I'm not drunk enough to deal with this..." :nh:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 1:56 pm

Helmsman: "And that big 'ole monster with the multiple heads is a Hydra!"

Jones: "Maybe we could use those Zentreadi-sized blow-up dolls to distract it!"