The 37th Deep Ones ASC Sea Sqaud(Paordy)

[taalismn]

"Ah we've finally got our new fresh water condenser."

Cut to, a tiny label on the bottom of the tank.

Property of Fukushima Daiichi Genshiryoku Hatsudensho.

Reactor pumps courtesy of "Honest Ivan's Used Submarine Parts Emporium".

[SRoss]

The 37[sup]th[/sup] Deep Ones ASC Sea Squad OVA

The Coming of the Aquatic Gura

Trailer

[taalismn]

"Just lead 'em to the giant squid. That will take care of them."
"But how will WE avoid the giant squid?!"
"Then we better hope you're as good a sub driver as you've claimed to be."

[SRoss]

"Didn't we eat the giant squid as part of last Sunday's Dim Sum?"

[taalismn]

"I'm convinced we only got part of it...and the rest regenerated...and is angry...at us..."

[SRoss]

"I'm convinced we only got part of it...and the rest regenerated...and is angry...at us..."

Cut To: -- A random Private, sitting on the can reading. Suddenly, a tentacle pops out of the toilet, wraps around him, and drags the poor unfortunate soul out through the plumbing...

[Arnie100]

"I'm convinced we only got part of it...and the rest regenerated...and is angry...at us..."

Cut To: -- A random Private, sitting on the can reading. Suddenly, a tentacle pops out of the toilet, wraps around him, and drags the poor unfortunate soul out through the plumbing...

Random Private (Wakes up screaming...) "I gotta stop watching that Deep Rising movie or I'll never be able to use the toilet!"

[taalismn]

Captain Morgan: "All of you may well remember our last encounter with that critter infesting that abandoned ocean liner, and cost us a great big hunk of cheddar...well, we'll be having another go at it, so have the men issued springloaded jaw-bars and waterproofed chainsaws in event of boarding..."

[Kargan3033]

Captain Morgan: "All of you may well remember our last encounter with that critter infesting that abandoned ocean liner, and cost us a great big hunk of cheddar...well, we'll be having another go at it, so have the men issued springloaded jaw-bars and waterproofed chainsaws in event of boarding..."

Hopefully it has not spawned mini me's from the last time the Deep Ones enountered it.

[taalismn]

[


Hopefully it has not spawned mini me's from the last time the Deep Ones enountered it.

"And then we're going after its kids, because it's tradition to annihilate your enemy's family and bloodline."
"'Young eggs of treachery."
"Yeah, if you see eggs near that thing, blow them up too."

[taalismn]

"Sensor reading?"
"It's clear above us."
"Okay, surface. WE should be far north enough to have lost those creeps. Running us out if the Indian Ocean! The nerve of them! Ah, why aren'r we surfacing?"
"Ice is too thick above us."
"I thought you just said..."
"Ice just appeared above us. Sensors are reading its several dozen meters thick."
"Oh come ON! Ice just doesn't-"
"Ice berg may have shifted."
"Okay, then steer us around the 'berg and into open water."
(several minutes later)
"...what are we still not surfacing?"
"Because the ice keeps getting over us. It's almost like the iceberg is FOLLOWING us!"
"Really? Icebergs do NOT just follow...wait...damnit...."
"Captain?"
"Bloody Iceguard...mucking soreheads.....if anybody could get an iceberg to follow us, it would be them. Ahead half speed and start evading."
"Sir?"
"If that iceberg matches our speed, we'll know. We'll know if that cousin of yours is still holding a grudge against us...."

[Kargan3033]

"Sensor reading?"
"It's clear above us."
"Okay, surface. WE should be far north enough to have lost those creeps. Running us out if the Indian Ocean! The nerve of them! Ah, why aren'r we surfacing?"
"Ice is too thick above us."
"I thought you just said..."
"Ice just appeared above us. Sensors are reading its several dozen meters thick."
"Oh come ON! Ice just doesn't-"
"Ice berg may have shifted."
"Okay, then steer us around the 'berg and into open water."
(several minutes later)
"...what are we still not surfacing?"
"Because the ice keeps getting over us. It's almost like the iceberg is FOLLOWING us!"
"Really? Icebergs do NOT just follow...wait...damnit...."
"Captain?"
"Bloody Iceguard...mucking soreheads.....if anybody could get an iceberg to follow us, it would be them. Ahead half speed and start evading."
"Sir?"
"If that iceberg matches our speed, we'll know. We'll know if that cousin of yours is still holding a grudge against us...."

So much for family bonds.

[taalismn]

"Could be worse..."
"How so?"
"Could have Ensign Saade's family....that one takes 'family bonds' on directions like-"
"TMI! TMI!!!"

[Kargan3033]

"Could be worse..."
"How so?"
"Could have Ensign Saade's family....that one takes 'family bonds' on directions like-"
"TMI! TMI!!!"

" Umm sorry but Ensign Saade can't come to the phone right now he/she is *Tied* up at the moment. "

[taalismn]

"Ah man, I'm whipped after that weekend!"
"..you're ALWAYS whipped after the weekends..."

[Kargan3033]

"Ah man, I'm whipped after that weekend!"
"..you're ALWAYS whipped after the weekends..."

I see you found Rick and Lisa's honeymoon video.

[taalismn]

"Ah man, I'm whipped after that weekend!"
"..you're ALWAYS whipped after the weekends..."

I see you found Rick and Lisa's honeymoon video.

Time-Looping Rick had to double-check to make sure that 'Mistress Misa' hadn't replaced Lisa that time....

[Kargan3033]

"Ah man, I'm whipped after that weekend!"
"..you're ALWAYS whipped after the weekends..."

I see you found Rick and Lisa's honeymoon video.

Time-Looping Rick had to double-check to make sure that 'Mistress Misa' hadn't replaced Lisa that time....

In the worst case the time looping could go worng and Mistress Misa and Lisa end up fighting over Rick.

[taalismn]

"Ah man, I'm whipped after that weekend!"
"..you're ALWAYS whipped after the weekends..."

I see you found Rick and Lisa's honeymoon video.

Time-Looping Rick had to double-check to make sure that 'Mistress Misa' hadn't replaced Lisa that time....

In the worst case the time looping could go worng and Mistress Misa and Lisa end up fighting over Rick.

They have. Lisa hates shared Loops where Mistress Misa is around because the latter is an alternate universe (Macross deviation) version of her where she was part of a Heroes Unlimited-style supersoldier program that gave her, among other things, the ability to produce chains at will, but also broke her mind. She deserts the US military and ends up hooking up with a splinter group of the (Ranmaverse) Chinese Amazons who are even more into female dominance/BDSM(so much so that even the Joketsuzoku avoid them, especially after the crazy splinter-sisters started capturing Joketsuzoku women under their own policy of 'loser becomes the winner's slave', regardless of gender). Misa becomes one of them, but when a Time-Looping Rick Hunter, following up a lead of where his wife might be in a time-loop, runs into her and gets the drop on her, she decides he's her 'master'(though the relationship isn't so clear-cut, as Mistress Misa will attempt to dominate Rick if he doesn't dominate her first and at all times), and chases him throughout several Loops. This gets to the point where Rick begins worrying if 'Mistress Misa' is just an unfortunate recurrence in Loops or if she's actually Looping(a problem compounded by the existence of the distinctly different Macross/Robotech universes). The dual-universe problem gets more credence when Lisa encounters Mistress Misa and is OWNED by her, and Misa drops hints that she remembers other universes(given that baseline Misa has disappeared from follow-up Macross sequels, this might be the Macross Loops' Misa suffering major Sakura Syndrome).


Lisa's since managed to use skill and a few abilities she's picked up in the Loops to defeat Misa, but Mistress Misa is crazy-ass superpowered CRAZY, so whenever Rick and Lisa encounter her, the general consensus on her is to avoid Mistress Misa(hope she doesn't see either of them, and run like hell!).

[Kargan3033]

"Ah man, I'm whipped after that weekend!"
"..you're ALWAYS whipped after the weekends..."

I see you found Rick and Lisa's honeymoon video.

Time-Looping Rick had to double-check to make sure that 'Mistress Misa' hadn't replaced Lisa that time....

In the worst case the time looping could go worng and Mistress Misa and Lisa end up fighting over Rick.

They have. Lisa hates shared Loops where Mistress Misa is around because the latter is an alternate universe (Macross deviation) version of her where she was part of a Heroes Unlimited-style supersoldier program that gave her, among other things, the ability to produce chains at will, but also broke her mind. She deserts the US military and ends up hooking up with a splinter group of the (Ranmaverse) Chinese Amazons who are even more into female dominance/BDSM(so much so that even the Joketsuzoku avoid them, especially after the crazy splinter-sisters started capturing Joketsuzoku women under their own policy of 'loser becomes the winner's slave', regardless of gender). Misa becomes one of them, but when a Time-Looping Rick Hunter, following up a lead of where his wife might be in a time-loop, runs into her and gets the drop on her, she decides he's her 'master'(though the relationship isn't so clear-cut, as Mistress Misa will attempt to dominate Rick if he doesn't dominate her first and at all times), and chases him throughout several Loops. This gets to the point where Rick begins worrying if 'Mistress Misa' is just an unfortunate recurrence in Loops or if she's actually Looping(a problem compounded by the existence of the distinctly different Macross/Robotech universes). The dual-universe problem gets more credence when Lisa encounters Mistress Misa and is OWNED by her, and Misa drops hints that she remembers other universes(given that baseline Misa has disappeared from follow-up Macross sequels, this might be the Macross Loops' Misa suffering major Sakura Syndrome).


Lisa's since managed to use skill and a few abilities she's picked up in the Loops to defeat Misa, but Mistress Misa is crazy-ass superpowered CRAZY, so whenever Rick and Lisa encounter her, the general consensus on her is to avoid Mistress Misa(hope she doesn't see either of them, and run like hell!).

Oh boy I can just see Rick and Lisa trying to exsplain to their kids why *Anuty* Misa is such a raging loony.

Sakura Syndrome?

[taalismn]

Sakura Syndrome is a term used in the Infinite Loops fanfiction referring to the behavior of Naruto's looping Sakura Haruno in the original Innortal-written segments. Sakura apparently became so unhinged by the repetition of the Loops that she began acting as if whatever she did in a Loop didn't matter, because it would be erased by the next Reset. Thus, she began, but wasn't limited to, a nymphomanic rampage in which her fellow Loopers and Fusion Loopers were frequent targets, and she began conducting side experiments that made even veteran prankers like Naruto and hardcore anchors like Ranma cringe.
Later writers have tried to refute Innortal's work(ironic, that) or at least consider it non-canon to the Loops, along with the other Not Work-Safe sexual activities of the Original Seven Loopers, in part to salvage something of Sakura's (they feel, wrongly defamed)character, but the general consensus seems to be that the Innortal segments represented an earlier, crazier, period when the Original Seven were still getting acclimated to their positions and responsibilities as Anchors/Loopers. Sakura Haruno has since calmed down considerably, but 'Sakura Syndrome' has come to be embedded in Looper jargon as (from the Infinite Loop Wiki) "as when a Looper's personal morality moves at such right angles to reality that they feel they have the ability to do anything they want to anyone they want. Such things are often rationalized by arguments such as "There is no permanent damage," or "They won't remember this anyway," due to the Loops reset."

http://infinite-loops.wikia.com/wiki/Sakura_Syndrome

[Kargan3033]

Sakura Syndrome is a term used in the Infinite Loops fanfiction referring to the behavior of Naruto's looping Sakura Haruno in the original Innortal-written segments. Sakura apparently became so unhinged by the repetition of the Loops that she began acting as if whatever she did in a Loop didn't matter, because it would be erased by the next Reset. Thus, she began, but wasn't limited to, a nymphomanic rampage in which her fellow Loopers and Fusion Loopers were frequent targets, and she began conducting side experiments that made even veteran prankers like Naruto and hardcore anchors like Ranma cringe.
Later writers have tried to refute Innortal's work(ironic, that) or at least consider it non-canon to the Loops, along with the other Not Work-Safe sexual activities of the Original Seven Loopers, in part to salvage something of Sakura's (they feel, wrongly defamed)character, but the general consensus seems to be that the Innortal segments represented an earlier, crazier, period when the Original Seven were still getting acclimated to their positions and responsibilities as Anchors/Loopers. Sakura Haruno has since calmed down considerably, but 'Sakura Syndrome' has come to be embedded in Looper jargon as (from the Infinite Loop Wiki) "as when a Looper's personal morality moves at such right angles to reality that they feel they have the ability to do anything they want to anyone they want. Such things are often rationalized by arguments such as "There is no permanent damage," or "They won't remember this anyway," due to the Loops reset."

http://infinite-loops.wikia.com/wiki/Sakura_Syndrome

Ahh that exsplaines why all of my Ex's are ****bat insane.

[taalismn]

They Loop?

[Kargan3033]

They Loop?

And breed faster then a Xenomorph Queen on fertilty drugs.

[taalismn]

*KA-POW!*
"DAMN IT! I -KNOW- space is at a premium inside the base and ship, but can't you get your firearms practice done on the simulators?! Why do you have to use the lengthwise accessway of the ship for RIFLE practice?!"
"Because the simulators don't feel the same as the real thing?"
"YOU'RE USING AN -ANTI-MATERIAL- RIFLE!!! WITH LIVE AMMO!!!"
"All the more important I get practice in! You can't just jump on one of these things cold with nothing but CG-sim! These things take PRACTICE to use properly!"

[SRoss]

Meanwhile, the Giant Squid is unpleasantly surprised as it approached the stern of the ship, only to be struck by bullets coming THROUGH the hull.

[taalismn]

Meanwhile, the Giant Squid is unpleasantly surprised as it approached the stern of the ship, only to be struck by bullets coming THROUGH the hull.

The engineering crew is less pleased with the .50 caliber rounds ricocheting off the reactor casing...

[Kargan3033]

*KA-POW!*
"DAMN IT! I -KNOW- space is at a premium inside the base and ship, but can't you get your firearms practice done on the simulators?! Why do you have to use the lengthwise accessway of the ship for RIFLE practice?!"
"Because the simulators don't feel the same as the real thing?"
"YOU'RE USING AN -ANTI-MATERIAL- RIFLE!!! WITH LIVE AMMO!!!"
"All the more important I get practice in! You can't just jump on one of these things cold with nothing but CG-sim! These things take PRACTICE to use properly!"

It would seem that the cpataian and crew have spent too much time bottled up if they fail to realize that the best way to get some practice with their weapons is to surffice and mug their competors for their gear and stashes of goodies and call it an " Anti priacy " operation.

[taalismn]

*KA-POW!*
"DAMN IT! I -KNOW- space is at a premium inside the base and ship, but can't you get your firearms practice done on the simulators?! Why do you have to use the lengthwise accessway of the ship for RIFLE practice?!"
"Because the simulators don't feel the same as the real thing?"
"YOU'RE USING AN -ANTI-MATERIAL- RIFLE!!! WITH LIVE AMMO!!!"
"All the more important I get practice in! You can't just jump on one of these things cold with nothing but CG-sim! These things take PRACTICE to use properly!"

It would seem that the cpataian and crew have spent too much time bottled up if they fail to realize that the best way to get some practice with their weapons is to surffice and mug their competors for their gear and stashes of goodies and call it an " Anti priacy " operation.

Problem is, when they surface, somebody starts using THEM for ASW practice...
At least they THINK it's practice.

[Kargan3033]

*KA-POW!*
"DAMN IT! I -KNOW- space is at a premium inside the base and ship, but can't you get your firearms practice done on the simulators?! Why do you have to use the lengthwise accessway of the ship for RIFLE practice?!"
"Because the simulators don't feel the same as the real thing?"
"YOU'RE USING AN -ANTI-MATERIAL- RIFLE!!! WITH LIVE AMMO!!!"
"All the more important I get practice in! You can't just jump on one of these things cold with nothing but CG-sim! These things take PRACTICE to use properly!"

It would seem that the cpataian and crew have spent too much time bottled up if they fail to realize that the best way to get some practice with their weapons is to surffice and mug their competors for their gear and stashes of goodies and call it an " Anti priacy " operation.

Problem is, when they surface, somebody starts using THEM for ASW practice...
At least they THINK it's practice.

Ahh the "Inogrance is bliss" deal and even if their rivals and other asorted persons of intrest do use them for ASW when they surface the crew should be able to fight there way through the *enemy* and acheave their *misson*objectives otherwise the brass asses back home are going to give them are hard time for using their *Boat* as a pleasure cruse vessel.

[taalismn]

"When we told you to 'aggressively pursue your mission objectives' we didn't mean YOU GO PIRATE!!!!!"
<<"Should have made that clearer, sir.">>

[Kargan3033]

"When we told you to 'aggressively pursue your mission objectives' we didn't mean YOU GO PIRATE!!!!!"
<<"Should have made that clearer, sir.">>

A modren retelling of *Adventrues On The High Seas*

I guess the brass asses won't be getting a share of the rum that 37th *librated* from the *enemy*

[taalismn]

"When we told you to 'aggressively pursue your mission objectives' we didn't mean YOU GO PIRATE!!!!!"
<<"Should have made that clearer, sir.">>

A modren retelling of *Adventrues On The High Seas*

I guess the brass asses won't be getting a share of the rum that 37th *librated* from the *enemy*

Considering that it was probably the brass asses' stock(or investments) that got 'liberated'...no.

[SRoss]

"Captain, our new Helmsman/Navigator is here."

[taalismn]

"Captain, our new Helmsman/Navigator is here."

"Oh thank god; I was afraid we were going to have to lay in stocks of mélange."

[Kargan3033]

"Captain, our new Helmsman/Navigator is here."

"Oh thank god; I was afraid we were going to have to lay in stocks of mélange."

*spiced* rum anyone?

[taalismn]

"Captain, our new Helmsman/Navigator is here."

"Oh thank god; I was afraid we were going to have to lay in stocks of mélange."

*spiced* rum anyone?

"Spaced" rum, more like it.
"Problem with celestial navigation at these latitudes is...damnit! I'd appreciate it if you'd quit changing the bloody planet on us so we can use the right star charts!"

[SRoss]

Capt. Morgan: "Funny, I don't remember the water on the Command Deck being this deep. What's our course?"

Spens: "Um, downward sir?"

Capt. Morgan: "Aren't you the navigator?"

[Kargan3033]

"Captain, our new Helmsman/Navigator is here."

"Oh thank god; I was afraid we were going to have to lay in stocks of mélange."

*spiced* rum anyone?

"Spaced" rum, more like it.
"Problem with celestial navigation at these latitudes is...damnit! I'd appreciate it if you'd quit changing the bloody planet on us so we can use the right star charts!"

A Dr.Pepper and the yellow submerine head trip after drinking some of that.

[taalismn]

The 37th HATES that damn yellow submarine and their damn music, which roosters up their sonar, instead of giving them a hard lock-on for the acoustic-homing torpedoes.

[Kargan3033]

The 37th HATES that damn yellow submarine and their damn music, which roosters up their sonar, instead of giving them a hard lock-on for the acoustic-homing torpedoes.

Which led to many *not so friendly*fire incdents.

[taalismn]

THey're not too fond of singing crabs either...especially when they make diagnosing cases of 'rapture of the deep' that much harder.

[Kargan3033]

THey're not too fond of singing crabs either...especially when they make diagnosing cases of 'rapture of the deep' that much harder.

That and the fact that some spiked the food with an LSD derivtive.

[taalismn]

THey're not too fond of singing crabs either...especially when they make diagnosing cases of 'rapture of the deep' that much harder.

That and the fact that some spiked the food with an LSD derivtive.

At least it wasn't the zombie cucumber somebody picked up in Port-au-Prince.

[Kargan3033]

THey're not too fond of singing crabs either...especially when they make diagnosing cases of 'rapture of the deep' that much harder.

That and the fact that some spiked the food with an LSD derivtive.

At least it wasn't the zombie cucumber somebody picked up in Port-au-Prince.

Thankfuly or the Insanity Peppers from the same SA nation that Alverez found them in.

[taalismn]

[

Thankfuly or the Insanity Peppers from the same SA nation that Alverez found them in.

Chili Con Carnage, otherwise known as 'Khyron's Revenge'...a Zentraedi culinary development of a recipe banned since the Tex-Mex War and Santa Ana attempting to use it against the Texans. Amazingy, the Zentraedi discovered a farm enclave still growing the peppers and further bred them to a gastronomic heat scale just short of a flourine torch's. it;s considered to be a controlled substance, toxic, with side effects ranging from necrosis of the tongue and scarring of the vocal cords, as well as delusions of being immersed in a steel mill puddling pit.

[Kargan3033]

[

Thankfuly or the Insanity Peppers from the same SA nation that Alverez found them in.

Chili Con Carnage, otherwise known as 'Khyron's Revenge'...a Zentraedi culinary development of a recipe banned since the Tex-Mex War and Santa Ana attempting to use it against the Texans. Amazingy, the Zentraedi discovered a farm enclave still growing the peppers and further bred them to a gastronomic heat scale just short of a flourine torch's. it;s considered to be a controlled substance, toxic, with side effects ranging from necrosis of the tongue and scarring of the vocal cords, as well as delusions of being immersed in a steel mill puddling pit.

*Somewere in hell Khyron is laughing his ass off*

[taalismn]

That, or he and Sammy are enjoying the dividend check from the licensing of his name on the toned-down commercial version of the stuff, which is still hot enough to be sold in insulated bottles and with a valid ID requirement.

[Kargan3033]

That, or he and Sammy are enjoying the dividend check from the licensing of his name on the toned-down commercial version of the stuff, which is still hot enough to be sold in insulated bottles and with a valid ID requirement.

Or Both.

So it goes without saying that even after a world wide holocuast at the hands of of genocidal aliens merchandizing still makes the world go round.

[taalismn]

That, or he and Sammy are enjoying the dividend check from the licensing of his name on the toned-down commercial version of the stuff, which is still hot enough to be sold in insulated bottles and with a valid ID requirement.

Or Both.

So it goes without saying that even after a world wide holocuast at the hands of of genocidal aliens merchandizing still makes the world go round.

Got my Rain of Death protective foil cooly-hat beanie right here.....