The 37th Deep Ones ASC Sea Sqaud(Paordy)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:19 pm

Jones: "You know, Petra, I am truly...astonished...none of us suspected you had ANY mechanical talent beyond cleaning a gummed up burner, any chemistry beyond adding water to dehydrated potatoes, and any medical knowledge beyond slapping a side of cold meat on a black eye....but to do what you did? Taking a tank of Tirolian android parts and assembling...those girls...Even with Ensigns Orange, Lemon, and Lime translating for you...well, those androids look perfectly human, and they;re certainly skilled enough to help aboard ship...but we couldn't help but notice that...well...their...(waves and shapes hands in front of him)...big enough to be life preserver flotation devices, don't you think? On top of the fact that aside from life jackets, thongs, and sailor caps....that's ALL they're wearing...Kinda raises some eyebrows as to what you were thinking, is all."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:40 pm

"Orange, Lemon and Lime? When did they conscript the Fanta Girls?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 02, 2016 10:44 pm

SRoss wrote:"Orange, Lemon and Lime? When did they conscript the Fanta Girls?"

Kargan's page-1 founding post on this thread....Orange, Lemon, and Lime are three Tirolian Muses with all the musical talent of Milli Vanilli, and all the vocal talent of a garbage compactor....

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Jan 02, 2016 10:48 pm

"Milli Vanilli? Who are they?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Jan 02, 2016 11:46 pm

Arnie100 wrote:"Milli Vanilli? Who are they?"

An award winning musical dual, famous for lip-syncing their entire album.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 2:45 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:"Milli Vanilli? Who are they?"

An award winning musical dual, famous for lip-syncing their entire album.

Indeed...one of the more blatantly caught frauds in the music industry.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:21 pm

Minmei: "I don't lip-sync. NEVER I AM A NATURAL TALENT!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:37 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Minmei: "I don't lip-sync. NEVER I AM A NATURAL TALENT!"

"Talent for WHAT, we're still debating-wow, what's this little red dot on my chest?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:52 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Minmei: "I don't lip-sync. NEVER I AM A NATURAL TALENT!"

"Talent for WHAT, we're still debating-wow, what's this little red dot on my chest?"

Minmei: (Having attached said heckler to a sturdy cable and dangling over the side of a boat) "What was that, now?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:58 pm

"Wow...didn't think moray eels grew that big. If you hadn't leaned back when you did, Miss Minmei, it mighta scarfed you down at the same time it swallowed that pleb as well..."
"Took the end off the hoist too." :shock:

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 7:08 pm

Minmei: "I wonder if those eels would make good Unagi (eel sushi)." :twisted:

Moray Eel: :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:06 pm

One of the (few) fitness tests of the 37th is Deep Sea Fishing; if you're not smart enough to cut the line or let go of the fishing gear, you're too dumb to survive with the 37th....

"Whosupergluedtheroddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.............."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 3:20 pm

The 37th's Resident Fishing Enthusiast

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 3:32 pm

Minmei: "I'm sure I have a recipe for great white shark..."
Jaws: :shock:

(Frantically swimming away)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 4:59 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Minmei: "I'm sure I have a recipe for great white shark..."
Jaws: (Frantically swimming away)

"I have a few suggestions for what(or rather WHO) can be used for bait..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 5:06 pm

(Everyone looks at Toombs...)

Chief Toombs: :shock:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 12:40 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(Everyone looks at Toombs...)

Chief Toombs:

"Wouldn't work. There are things even a Great White won't touch."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 1:33 pm

Jaws:

(Swimming away at an even faster pace)
"See? Sharks are smart animals."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 7:02 pm

Let's just say that if my Bait List were acted upon, the Internet would be a quieter place.... :twisted:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 8:58 pm

Minmei: "Ooohhh Kyle... could you lean over and tie this dripping bucket of chum to the end of the line?"

Later...

Charon: "Oh come on! Really? Even Karno wouldn't have been dumb enough to fall for that!!!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 9:06 pm

Captain Morgan: "Have we looked into sonic weaponry?"
Srgt; Sanderson: "Already ahead of you there, sir. We put Petra's boombox in the forward sonar bay and play Minmei songs at max volume."
Captain Morgan: "Does it work?"
Sanderson: "Mixed results, sir; we get some big fishkills if that's any indication of effectiveness."
Jones: "And we get brown-outs from the main engines thanks to the power drain going to the boombox."
Petra: "I like LOUD music."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:27 pm

"So, how'd you end up in the 37[sup]th[/sup]?"

"I did the new Recruiting Video for the ASC."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:33 pm

SRoss wrote:"So, how'd you end up in the 37[sup]th[/sup]?"

"I did the new Recruiting Video for the ASC."

In ICT, I have to admit, I felt for Yamamoto; he was a by-the-book schnook, but he went through near-personality collapse and substance abuse to come around to appreciate Captain Tylor's positive attributes and found his own groove(which wasn't necessarily blind adherence to the traditional military book). The later OVAs focused more on him, but unfortunately had him losing whatever 'wild guy' edge he'd picked up serving under Tylor, and Tylor himself ended up much more subdued and in the background(while the storyline with the Ralgon Empire took on a darker turn and the hint that an actual shooting war was in the offing).

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 10:46 pm

Vessels of the 37[sup]th[/sup] Deep Ones

The White Powder Express - A fleet of stealth cargo subs "aquired" from the Columbians. Unarmed, with a maximum diving depth of 30 ft. They are non the less very stealthy.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 11:23 pm

SRoss wrote:Minmei: "Ooohhh Kyle... could you lean over and tie this dripping bucket of chum to the end of the line?"

Later...

Charon: "Oh come on! Really? Even Karno wouldn't have been dumb enough to fall for that!!!"

(Karno comes walking in...)

Charon: "Guess I was wrong."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 09, 2016 8:05 pm

SRoss wrote:
Vessels of the 37[sup]th[/sup] Deep Ones

The White Powder Express - A fleet of stealth cargo subs "aquired" from the Columbians. Unarmed, with a maximum diving depth of 30 ft. They are non the less very stealthy.

Yet another enemy after the 37th; the Columbians didn't mean to donate to the Deep Ones. They were even less happy when the Russian SSN they bought to use to hunt down the 37th ALSO ended up 'changing ownership'.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:08 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Vessels of the 37[sup]th[/sup] Deep Ones

The White Powder Express - A fleet of stealth cargo subs "aquired" from the Columbians. Unarmed, with a maximum diving depth of 30 ft. They are non the less very stealthy.

Yet another enemy after the 37th; the Columbians didn't mean to donate to the Deep Ones. They were even less happy when the Russian SSN they bought to use to hunt down the 37th ALSO ended up 'changing ownership'.

"Hey! I FOUND SOMETHING!!!"
"What?!"
"Should we tell anyone?"
"Let me think about that..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 9:02 pm

Arnie100 wrote:[

"Hey! I FOUND SOMETHING!!!"
"What?!"
"Should we tell anyone?"
"Let me think about that..."

"Some people collect knicknacks. We collect.."
"What?"
"-other people's yachts. freighters, submarines, anchors...."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 9:19 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:[

"Hey! I FOUND SOMETHING!!!"
"What?!"
"Should we tell anyone?"
"Let me think about that..."

"Some people collect knicknacks. We collect.."
"What?"
"-other people's yachts. freighters, submarines, anchors...."

Yeoman Urchin: "I found a spoon..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 9:53 pm

Scene of a large coastal marina, centered around a club catering to the UEG upper crust. Dozens, if not hundreds, of private watercraft are anchored or berthed here.
Late at nigh, while the central pavilion is lit up and resounding with the noise of some big social function, we see several yachts on the edge of the marina suddenly disappear straight DOWN in the the water, like crop plants being sucked underground by a gopher. A few minutes later, we see an entire small dock suddenly break off from shore and go coasting out to sea to disappear into the darkness.
A few more minutes later and the fuel feed from a refueling station drops into the water, then begins pulsing, as if suction was being applied to it VERY strongly....

"I got the monogrammed silverware of a UEG congressman."
"I got some very nice cufflinks from a landlubber general."
""I got a very interesting little black book..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Jan 11, 2016 2:32 pm

"I got Nova Satori in a bikini!"

#CLICK!#

(Putting hands up) "No, really, HELP!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 11, 2016 4:16 pm

SRoss wrote:"I got Nova Satori in a bikini!"

#CLICK!#

(Putting hands up) "No, really, HELP!"

(Down below...)

Charon: :shock:

"Satori was pissed?"
"Yes, Sir..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Jan 11, 2016 6:50 pm

Cause of Death: Blew an 18 inch hole in the side of a sub moving at 30 knots at 1500 metres.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 11, 2016 8:04 pm

(Down below...)

Charon: :nh:

"So you lot are down here because one of you took a picture of Nova Satori in her bikini?"
:oops:

"Uuhhmm...yeah."
Charon: "You wouldn't have an extra copy would ya?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 11, 2016 8:11 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(Down below...)

Charon: "So you lot are down here because one of you took a picture of Nova Satori in her bikini?"
"Uuhhmm...yeah."
Charon: "You wouldn't have an extra copy would ya?"

Coulda been worse....they might have SUNK THE YACHT SHE WAS SLEEPING ON.
Nova would take extreme exception to being kidnapped, especially by rogue military officers...the sort of thing the GMP was essentially founded to go after.

Chronicler · Unread post by **Chronicler** » Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:29 pm

Naval flunky: *Flipping through the little black book* "Jeez and crow. Yo Cap, you got to check this out!"
Cap. Morgan: "What you find?"
Naval flunky: "Whoever this guy was probably hit up every woman in the U.E.D.F... Want to call all of them?"
Cap. Morgan: "Hmm... Wonder how many we can get on our side?"
Naval flunky: *Wips out cell* :fl:

Cap. Morgan: "Eh what the hell. Let's do this. But on the speaker the crew needs a good laugh if this goes south." :roll:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jan 12, 2016 4:01 pm

Chronicler wrote:Naval flunky: *Flipping through the little black book* "Jeez and crow. Yo Cap, you got to check this out!"
Cap. Morgan: "What you find?"
Naval flunky: "Whoever this guy was probably hit up every woman in the U.E.D.F... Want to call all of them?"
Cap. Morgan: "Hmm... Wonder how many we can get on our side?"
Naval flunky: *Wips out cell*
Cap. Morgan: "Eh what the hell. Let's do this. But on the speaker the crew needs a good laugh if this goes south."

Naval flunky: "Hey! Where'd all these red dots come from?"

Reasonable Marine: "All call signs. Green light, repeat green light..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 12, 2016 6:09 pm

Yep...it's gone south. THough how the HELL the Reasonable Marines got into the 37th's flagship in all that clunky armor with those big bodies of theirs..wait, they're REASONABLE Marines; they sent their Scouts with light armor rebreather gear because they train like SEALs and they're ####ing smart about such things....

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:22 pm

Charon: "Listen, I'm up to my armpits in Stormtroopers. You guys can find your own way out, bye!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 5:20 pm

Charon: "Why can't I get a vacation"
Hades: "Because no one else wants your job."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:04 pm

Poseidon: "Why am -I- getting saddled with this?"
"These 37th guys...they're your jurisdiction...enjoy."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:38 pm

Poseidon: "WAIT! I'M NOT THE FERRYMAN!"
Charon: "They died in YOUR realm...deal with it!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:47 pm

"Don't pay the ferryman? These guys actually picked his pockets."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 14, 2016 7:54 pm

"I expect you gentlemen to return my trident."
"And if we don't?"
"What's your crush depth again?" :evil:

"Oh look, we just found this and were coming over to return it to you!" :eek:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:23 pm

Charon: "Good, I don't need any more idiots today."

(On board one of the 37th's subs...)

Crewman #1: "Hey...check out this book I found!"
Crewman #2: "What is it?"
Crewman #1: "1001 Ways To Summon Cthulhu."
Crewman #2: "Well; come on then...let's give it a go, yeah?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 12:06 am

Yeah, Cthulu comes to collect...parking tickets, for the last time the 37th lay on the bottom in fair Ry'lleh...

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 5:12 pm

(On board one of the 37th's subs...)

Crewman #1: "I also found this other book called...THE NECRONOMICON!"
Crewman #2: "Is it me or is the book covered in human flesh and why does that look like a face?"
Crewman #1: "You really ARE imagining things!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 6:15 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(On board one of the 37th's subs...)

Crewman #1: "I also found this other book called...THE NECRONOMICON!"
Crewman #2: "Is it me or is the book covered in human flesh and why does that look like a face?"
Crewman #1: "You really ARE imagining things!"

Crewman #2: "You remember the words you're supposed to say before opening it?"

Crewmen #1: "Yeah, sure... Ahem, KLAATO! VERATA! NI #COFF COFF!!!#"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 7:23 pm

Crewman #1: "Seriously, what could po -- "
Crewman #2: "DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 8:40 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Crewman #1: "Seriously, what could po -- "
Crewman #2: "DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT."

"yeah, remember the time we ended up in some dweeb's aquarium in New Mexico? THE WHOLE BASE?! Every morning, that pimple-face staring in at us. Then he OD'ed us on chlorine."
"I'll never flush another guppy down the toilet ever again..."