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taalismn wrote:Robotech: The Sentinels
-Rem, while helping Cabell capture a Hellcat, stumbles across an Invid Shocktrooper, opens up its canopy, climbs into its cockpit, starts the mecha up, and lifts off...
--Moments after he does this, a Stage 2 Invid pilot comes running out from behind a nearby column, hitching up its pants(!) with one arm, while shaking the other at the departing mecha, and swearing a blue streak...

I could ALMOST see that. LOL. Wonder if that ever happened to the Earth forces, though, as the most obvious target for it. I could just imagine a micronized Zentraedi or Stage 5 Invid pulling the same trick on them.

*What Invid do when the Regis isn't looking...
-Two Shocktroopers on patrol around the perimeter of a Hive....they get out of line of sight of the Hive, stop, look at each other...then both pop their cockpits and the pilots jump out and streak in a circle around their mecha, before getting back in, closing their canopies, and going about their patrol like nothing happened...
Meanwhile, a concealed REF scout puts down his binoculars, checks its lenses, and shakes his head in disbelief....

-
The Masters:

Clone Masters on hoverplatform addressing the populace:
"There are NO micronian soldiers entering our mothership! They are NOT infiltrating this sector! Our brave bioroid warriors are piling them dead against the outer hull. They are throwing themselves to their deaths against our mighty weapons!"
(meanwhile the 15th ATAC goes cruising by in their Hovertanks behind the Clone Masters....)

LMAO!!! Please keep them coming!

Lancer: "Scott...how did your training session with Rand on the Alpha go?"
Scott:"Something of a disappointment....The boy's a warrior, but he's not a real killer..."
Lancer:"..?..."
Scott:" Rand asked a lot of questions, but he didn't ask about the red button...Now, a REAL killer, he'd have asked about the red button..."
(behind them, there's an explosion and Rand goes sailing off over the horizon...)

Scott, Wolff, and the nameless troopers raid the Protoculture Farm...
Soldier 1: "Colonel, we can't get in, there's some sort of forcefield!"
Soldier 2: (recovering from the shock-field) "Hold it...."(reaches down, pulls up a rock laying near the door, turns it over, pulls a key out from the hollow there, and deftly inserts the key into a part of the exterior wall..The forcefield goes down)
Soldier 1:"Belay that, Colonel...we're in.."


Wolff: "Wait...I have an Alpha! I have more than enough ammo to waste Bernard AND his friends!"

Scott: "Colonel Wolff! Stay still, we'll get help!"
Wolff: "No, Scott...I'm afraid I'm a goner...Bit of advice...*gasp*...before entering combat...take all sharp objects out of your flightsuit breast pockets...*gerk*"
Scott: "You mean...?"
Wolff: "Yep...Tripped getting out of the Alpha..ballpoint pen right through the ribs....Ironic, no?*gak*"

Scene:Rick, Lisa and Minmei standing in front of the wrecked SDF-1
Minmei:Don't worry about me I'll be all right.
Rick and Lisa turn away toward the SDF-1 as Minmei walks away.A large chunk of the SDF-1 falls on Minmei.

Ben,Lisa,and Rick in the zentraedi cell.
Rick:I you sure this is gonna work?
Lisa:yes rick this will work.
Ben:I still say I should at least wear some thing over this teddy.

Scene:The 15th A.T.A.C in the masters ship.
Louie:Lt. I got movement.
Dana:Talk to me louie
Louie:Ahh. I'm getting multiple readings in front and behind.
Sean:Where I don't see nothing.
Angelo:He's right there's nothing back here.
Louie:Look I"m telling you somethings moving and it at us.

Director:cut! okay who switched the script?

Scene: 15th ATAC on board Masters Ship

Louie: I got movement
Bowie: I got Rythmn
Angelo: I got my gun
Dana: So who could ask for anything more?

Scene: Invid Earth

Scott leaps onto his cyclone, gunning the engine ferociously as he roars off, only to discover that the steering lock is still set and he races furiously round and round in circles.

Lt Colonel Fury wrote

*Scott comes running being chased by an Enforcer, jumps on his Cyclone, fires it up, guns the engine, goes about 20 feet, comes to a sudden stop, flies over the handle bars, lands flat on his face, comes to to see the Enforcer standing over him energy gun pointed at his head*

Enforcer: Not this time, Bernard. This time we were prepared!

*Enforcer points to his Cyclone and only now does Scott see the 20 feet of cable connecting it to a building*

Scott: Son of a %$^&*!

Continued cut

Enforcer: Oh yeah those two wanted us to do it like that too for some other tv show. Something called Mythbusters...... :::Thumbing his mechas hand back towards the building where two humans are standing. One witha handlebar mustache and the other one with glasses and red hair. Both of whom are laughing.:::

Khyron:Grel what are you and the men doing?
Grel:We'er playing war games.My lord.
Khyron:good I shall be back shortly.
Grel:(As soon as Khyron leaves)Okay guys we can go back to playing Halo 3.

Exedore: "Yes..Khyron, known by his own men as the 'Backstabber'...and before that as the 'Frontal Geeker', the 'Sideways Slider', the 'Beer Stealer', the 'Four-Flusher', the 'Blue Streaker', ;The Idiot Who Doesn't Replace the Toilet Paper'...."
Breetai: "You lost me at 'Frontal Geeker'..."

*Exedore, Peace Emissary, sampling an orange micronian drink at conference...
Exedore: "Mmm...an interesting taste!"
RDF Attendant:"Have another, sir?"
Exedore: "If you insist!..Thank you! What do you call this drink?"
RDF Attendant: "We call it a screwdriver..."

Marcus Rush: "I just wish all those aliens would go away!"
Maia Sterling:(Coming up behind him)"...!?..."
(One explosion of violence later....Scott Bernard, Ariel, and the whole Officers' Club are currently looking Marcus, pinned up against the far wall by cutlery jabbed through his flightsuit into the wall behind him...he's staring in anxiety at the largest knife, just millimeters away from his groin)
Louie: "...Let us be VERY quiet around this Sterling..."(the others nod their heads)

Scene: First Robotech Film, as Minmae is falling while Rick Hunter tries to catch her in his "borrowed" Veritech...

Rick: "Don't worry, I'll save you!"
Minmae: "Heeeeeeeeellllllp!"

Rick: "Almost got you...."

Rick: "Almost got you...."

Rick pulls off a great landing, followed by Minmae *SPLAT*

Rick: "I knew we should have used a stunt double....Boy am I gonna get it."

Breetai is walking alongside Exedore down an old corridor...when....

*CREAAAAKKKKK*CRackCRACKKRACK!""WHooahheeeeee!!!!"*SPLASH*

Exedore: "Milord! Are you all right?!"

(echoing from deep down below)..."First thing we're doing tomorrow...every crewmember is learning basic hull repair...Screw what the Masters think...We going to be soldiers who can fight AND repair our own equipment!!!"

*******

Kazianna Hesh:"I'll be needing three smoke missiles, eight rounds of tear gas, three concussion warheads, a stun gun, 1 acre of camouflage netting, 400 square feet of leather stock, a rivet gun, twelve flares, four sets of cargo shackles and lift chains, two cargo nets, and a barrel of champagne..."
Supply Officer: "I'll have the gear delivered to your squadron hangar for your mission."
Hesh:"No, to my quarters...My date gets off bridge duty in three hours."

Breetai and Exedore are meeting with Dolza as to how to capture the SDF-1

Dolza: These micronian's culture is insidious. Are you sure you've not been infected?

Exedore: No, milord, we are still pure Zentraedi.

Dolza: Good. So tell me, what do you need to complete your mission?

Breetai: I'll need five whole battleships

Dolza: What about the escorts?

Breetai: No, just five whole battleships

Exedore: And some plain light scouts

Breetai: And a coke.

Exedore: "my lord, we have discovered startling information about the micronians origins."
Breetai: "go on"
Exedore: "the three spies brought back a documentary of the micronians history. it appears that they are more ancient than the robotech masters, and originate in a far off galaxy. in technology, they appear to have regressed, for they once had thousands of starships the size of our own, and possesed a vessel larger than Lord Dolza's command base, able to destroy planets with a single blast."
Breetai: "Inconceivable!"
Exedore: "but what troubles me most is their mind powers. it appears that the micronians posses the ability to control minds, levitate objects, and see the future!"
Breetai: "we must inform Lord Dolza immediately!"

:::The scene fades in and shows a lagre mansion with an even larger recent addition. Then the camera pans to this commentator. The commentator speaks.:::

"Today at the "Drawn Together" home we've added a section for the latest addition to the cast. The leader of the initial zentraedi forces someone named Breetai. That is the reason for the recent addition to the mansion. We've also been told he seemed to fit in prefectly well. And he established a relationship with Foxy!" Unfortunately we don't have an footage of the couple but we have it on reliable sources that they are an item." :::The camera pans over the scenery and happens to pass over a short pig like person scampering back towards the mansion.:::

Scene:Lisa hayes is looking through Rick Hunter's photo album.
As she flips through the book she sees Minmei,Sammy,Kim,Miriya,and Azonia
each with huggs and kisses on them.Lisa then spots rick in one picture wearing a purple outfit,a hat with a feather in it ,strange shoes,and glitter sunglasses.

ROFLMAO!!!! I never thought of Rick as a pimp! I guess pimp my ride would be right up his alley in those shots.

Gloval: "So we're facing an enemy force in excess of 2 million ships...correct?(Exedore nods in the affirmative)...Doctor Lang, any suggestions?"
Lang:(desperately) "Well, we might have enough time to have the ship's name officially changed to 'Enterprise'..."

*Shot after Lisa Hayes gets rescued from Mars Base Sara...She;s standing on the deck, in her EVA suit, with Rick Hunter in his VF behind her..
She jumps off the hull and goes falling off into space.
Swearing, Rick slides back in to his cockpit and takes off after her..."Fifth time today already...can't the EMTs get out here any faster!?"

*Rick Hunter, floating in the water after being shot down, when the rescue chopper spots him and hoves in overhead..
This time he's conscious and waving to the SAR chopper..
....Only to have the rotor downwash drown him...

*Lisa looking upset as she visits Rick in the hospital..Steps away from his apparent snub and leaves the room...not noticing that she's stepped on the bed controls that have dropped on the floor...Behind her Rick is thrown into the wall as the power hospital bed jerks upright...

Southern Cross:

*Karno and his brothers again, confronting the escaping clones. He signals his troops to shoot the refugees, chopping down his hand to give the firing command...
...and suddenly realizes too late he's standing in FRONT of the firing line...

LOL!! Another great set of bloopers Taalismn! Please keep up the great work!

"Alaska Base to Major Tom..."


Bioroid squadrons begin streaming towards Southern Cross fleet, when a whole squadron of Bioroids falls off their AG-craft and go flying flailing through the formation...

Nova:(advancing on the 15Th in the Matrix cave)"You're all under arrest!"
Dana:"No, Nova, don't...!"
Nova: "I have my orders, and Musica is coming with me!"(keeps striding forward)
Dana:(holding up her hands) "NOVA! DON'T...!"
Nova: "Don't make this any harder on yourse--YAAAAAA!!!!"(the weakened edge of the pit gives way and Nova does a forward fall into the Flowers...)
Zor:(wincing) "Ouch...."

Louie & Dante are trapped in the Mothership cargo bay by Karno's troops...
Louie: "They've got us trapped..."
Dante: "Looks like it..."
Louie:"Figure this is it?"
Dante: "Ain't over 'til the fat lady sings..."
Louie: "What is this obsession with a fat lady?!"
Dante:(hearing the vibrations of a Hovertank battloid advancing behind the wall---catches Louie's eye and grins)"You think they have any idea what's coming?"
Louie: (As the wall begins caving in) "Not a chance..."

LOL Very good Taalismn! I hope these keep coming!

Halfway through the Rain of Death performance of 'Stagefright', Lynn Minmei's hairpiece falls off...

In the episode "Booby Trap" two giant silicone implants inflate under the front of the SDF-1 raising it up a few degrees.

-The SDF-1 falters as its anti-grav units tear loose, sending the ship crashing back down;
***CCCRRRAA*BBBAMMPFFF!!!FFFFHHHHTTTTT!!!!!SSSSSHHHHHHHHH***
Gloval: "Everybody all right?"
Claudia: "I think the airbags snapped Lisa's neck...."

Exedore: "Yes, Khyron is infamous among our people,,,it was he who first had a cup holder installed in a battlepod..."
(Cut to Khyron tossing back a coffe in his OBP...then glares at the cup..."They call this HOT?! What lukewarm machine-urine are they trying to pass off! I wanted boiling hot, I specified boiling hot! You will pay for this insult, micronian scum!"...Blasts a Starbuck's to rubble)


Zor's Bioroids face off against the 15Th at the mounds...
Zor: "THis is _our_ neighborhood now! We have superiority here! Hot it, boys!"
(Sketchy music starts in the background as the bioroids start breakdancing, forming mecha pyramids, doing acrobatics*, and generally doing the sort of maneuvers combat mecha just don't do...)
Dante: "These guys are good..."

*I actually had a Rifts Earth circus that had an acrobatc team of bioroids that would do tumbles, run atop giant balls, juggle acrobats, etc...

Taalismn wrote
[quote]Zor's Bioroids face off against the 15Th at the mounds...
Zor: "THis is _our_ neighborhood now! We have superiority here! Hot it, boys!"
(Sketchy music starts in the background as the bioroids start breakdancing, forming mecha pyramids, doing acrobatics*, and generally doing the sort of maneuvers combat mecha just don't do...)
Dante: "These guys are good..." [quote]



One of the 15th activates the speakers in his mecha and starts playing something to breakdance too. Dana, Louie and Bowie's hover tanks in battloid mode start doing very intricate moves. Including all three spinning on their heads to end the move on their sides with the hover tanks right arm supporting the head and the right arm on the hips.:::

Zor to his bioroids.::: "We've been served"

oops......I've been served by the Redundancy Department of Redundancy....


Okay, here goes...

The Photo Album Incident-
Rick Hunter's getting up out of his fighter when he sees Lisa walking towards him determinedly and decidedly upset about something...
Rick: (Thinking)"..uh-oh...I'm in for it about -something-..."
-Sp determined is Lisa that she pays no heed to the line of other aircraft before Ricks...
***PHHHHFFFTTTTTTTZZOOOFFFFFFFFPPHHTP*SQUIKK!!!***
-and promptly gets sucked in the intake of an idling Veritech...
Rick: (watching the ground crew go into panic-scramble mode) "...saved..."

Southern Cross:
-The 15TH ATACS vs the Black Lions in the fly-boys' bar...
Black Lion Pilot(Muntz): "Hey, donja want a glass of coffee?"
15th Trooper(Royce): "No tha--gah!"(gets coffee thrown in his face)
Muntz: "Hah! Nothing like a good cup of java I sa--*BLAM*rgghh!"*Thud*
Bowie:(lowering rifle) "Never bring decaf to a gunfight."

(space dogfight)
Black Lion Pilot: "Lieutenant Crystal? I can never get it straight- Are we flying AJAC HELICOPTERS or CHOPPERS?----AAAGGGkkk!"
(gets blown away by attentive Bioroid)
Marie:(dodging enemy fire) "That's why we never bother with that question!"

Musica: "My sisters and I share feelings, share thoughts, we are on....Allegra, why are you...wearing a thong?"
(Allegra looks everywhere except at her flustered sisters, while the rest of the cast goes crosseyed)

The Armies of the Southern Cross you never saw...
(Biosanitation Brigade) Soldier in rubber-gloved armor raises his combat plunger...
(Office Combat Unit) Filing cabinet in an office in Monument City rolls open and a machine gun tips up into firing position....
(Bikini Combat Squad) A suntanned woman in...*koff*koff*koff*

LOL I like the last set the best!

Another Southern Cross Army that never got any coverage...

The ASC SCA...
---A group of armored cavalrymen on horses with barding, flying pendants and plumes, swinging swords and morningstars, go riding onto the field...only to get vaporized by a single strafing run by a Blue Bioroid...

ROFLMAO! Nice abbreviation! It's too bad they didn't kick the Bioroids rear!

-The 15th ATAC is driving through the Tirolian city aboard the Mothership, gawking at the inhabitants.
Bowie: "They're all human..."
Dana: "They must be all clones.."
(Suddenly three clones in blazers with attache cases step out in front of the Hovertanks)
Clone 1: "Humans!"
Clone 2: "Consider Yourselves Served!"
Clone 3: "You are Hereby Sued for Willful Damage of Tirolian Property!"
Clone 1: "Criminal Trespass and Emotional Duress Inflicted on Citizens!"
Clone 2: "Standing in the Way of Manifest Destiny and Rightful Global Domination!"
Clone 3: "We Plan on Asking for Eight Trillion Dollars Compensation!"
Bowie: "No, they're not ALL human..."
Dana: "Oh, why did they have to clone LAWYERS?!"
Dante: "You're not going to tell me NOT to kill these guys, right, Lieutenant?"

Rick hears a nock on hit Barrkes door:
Door "Pizza guy"
Rick: I didnt order pizza
from Door "Telegram"
Rick "I'm not expecting a telegram... I have email"
from Door "Land Shark"
Rick "ah, Guess I better get it" *Opens door*
Ben in a shark outfit "Live from Macross-city, its saturday night"

taalismn wrote:oops......I've been served by the Redundancy Department of Redundancy....


Okay, here goes...

The Photo Album Incident-
Rick Hunter's getting up out of his fighter when he sees Lisa walking towards him determinedly and decidedly upset about something...
Rick: (Thinking)"..uh-oh...I'm in for it about -something-..."
-Sp determined is Lisa that she pays no heed to the line of other aircraft before Ricks...
***PHHHHFFFTTTTTTTZZOOOFFFFFFFFPPHHTP*SQUIKK!!!***
-and promptly gets sucked in the intake of an idling Veritech...
Rick: (watching the ground crew go into panic-scramble mode) "...saved..."

Southern Cross:
-The 15TH ATACS vs the Black Lions in the fly-boys' bar...
Black Lion Pilot(Muntz): "Hey, donja want a glass of coffee?"
15th Trooper(Royce): "No tha--gah!"(gets coffee thrown in his face)
Muntz: "Hah! Nothing like a good cup of java I sa--*BLAM*rgghh!"*Thud*
Bowie:(lowering rifle) "Never bring decaf to a gunfight."

(space dogfight)
Black Lion Pilot: "Lieutenant Crystal? I can never get it straight- Are we flying AJAC HELICOPTERS or CHOPPERS?----AAAGGGkkk!"
(gets blown away by attentive Bioroid)
Marie:(dodging enemy fire) "That's why we never bother with that question!"

Musica: "My sisters and I share feelings, share thoughts, we are on....Allegra, why are you...wearing a thong?"
(Allegra looks everywhere except at her flustered sisters, while the rest of the cast goes crosseyed)

The Armies of the Southern Cross you never saw...
(Biosanitation Brigade) Soldier in rubber-gloved armor raises his combat plunger...
(Office Combat Unit) Filing cabinet in an office in Monument City rolls open and a machine gun tips up into firing position....
(Bikini Combat Squad) A suntanned woman in...*koff*koff*koff*

ROTFLMBOE!

LOL Good ones guys! They were great!

Counter Response to the Minmei Attack:

"We are the Zentraedi Who Say 'Nee!''NEE!' 'NEE!'"
Verietch Pilots: "AAAARRRGGHHH!!!!"(they spontaneously explode or go out of control...)
Gloval: "Claudia...how is our arboretum stocked for shrubbery?"

And don't forget the Herring!

...And what were Max and Ben doing when they got separated from Rick and Lisa aboard Breetai's flagship?

-Max is dragging Ben away from a bunch of Praxians who ahve taken up residence in an abandoned part of the flagship, eking out a primitive living between the walls...
Praxian Cultist: "Oh, we accidentally left the Protoculture sign out! We must be punished!"
Praxian Cultist 2: "We must be spanked!"
Praxian Cultists: "Spank us! Spank us!"
Max:(PUNCH)"I'll get you out of here, Ben! "(BACKHAND! JUDO THROW!)
Ben:(slung over Max's shoulder)"I've got it under control! I don't need help!"

-Image of the blue-white globe of Earth slowly turning,,,as the POV pulls out, we see it framed in some sort of screen with a control board underneath it...
A red-gloved hand comes into the frame, hovering over the controls..
VO:"What a glorious new world to conquer! What shall it be first, Klaatus? Hot hail?"

....Before there can be an answer, the Earth lights up as the Zentraedi Grand Fleet commences its Rain of Death....

Klaatus: "Actually, sire, I don't think it's going to make any difference..."

:::This spherical ship about a mile accross slowly makes its way thru the zentraedi debris ring around the earth. I descend towards the surface. Nothing can hide the incredible bombardment scars from the reflex weaponary used on the planet less than 24 hours ago. The ship comes down to lightly touch the surface near what used to be New York, NY. A massive door opens and a gargantuan figure steps from the ship. His purple armor made of material that would make most MDC armors seem light as a feather. Moving his pnderous head around to examine the damage to earth. His voice sounds reverberating with both hunger and anger.::: "Even barbeque sauce can't make this mess taste good. I shall make those who interfered with my meal pay.................So swears Galactus!"

*Rook cyclone-leaps into the air...and promptly wraps herself around the microphone gaff...
"Fifth one today" moans a sound technician

*The Regis's shadowy form poses in the center of the Hive, gesturing grandly..."This world on which we will evolve to our ultimate form!(does a grand open arm gesture)(*SNARFFF!!!**off-camera scream*)...Oops...sorry about that...I didn't devolve him too badly, did I?"
(Offcamera):"...squeak...?"

LOL Excellent Taalismn!

Scott, Rand, and Annie are speeding through the tunnel 'exit'(or so they think) of the Gensis Pit when they come to its end...
...Instead of an exit, or a tropical jungle on the other end, they come screaming out of a pair of doors(*CRASH!*) onto a small command balcony...In their surprise they run over a shocked looking guy in red-tinted sunglasses and a beard(*WHOMMP!*), before they plunge(Annie: "YYYIIII!!!!") over the edge of the balcony, past another command deck and the astonished bridge bunnies there(Rand: "WHHHOOOOHHHH!!!!"), off three large computer banks on the next level(*CLANG!*), off onto another level(**SLAMMM!!!), and finally out (*SCCCREEECHHH!!!!**)a pair of doors(Scott: "Look, Rand! 'EXIT'!"*WHAMPF!!!) at the front of the cavernous room, and disappear(*VVVrrrooommmm...)...
The grey-haired man who avoided being run over on the uppermost level looks at the roadkilled form of his commander, then gazes up into the eye...
Fuyutsuki: "Well, Anno, was THIS in your scenario?"

Remember: GENESIS PIT-GEOFRONT
Do NOT Get THem Confused!

Huh! It sounds funny! I'm just not sure of the other characters mentioned.

Aramanthus wrote:Huh! It sounds funny! I'm just not sure of the other characters mentioned.

Neon Genesis Evangelion, written by Hideaki Anno...described by various fans, because of the depressing series ending, as 'one messed up sod'.

Killing Gendo(the commander) has been a fan pastime for years....

What We DIDN'T See on the Bridge of the SDF-1...

*Lisa and Claudia playing rock-scizzors-paper to see who gets to fire the Main Gun this time around...

*The Bridge Bunnies tapping into the secret surveillance cameras in the pilots' locker rooms...

*Gloval fortifying his coffee from a hip flask...

*The techs playing tennis on the lower deck holo-display(or the basketball hoop mounted just under the rim of the bridge deck)

Scene:After the battle with Dolza's fleet.Miriya's VT lands and out jumps a little red headed girl who looks at a shocked Max and says"What're you stupid?"

Claudia: "Sir, it seems Miriya's accomplished her original mission with regards to Max Sterling.."
Gloval: "WHAT?! You mean...!!?"
Claudia: "Yep..rough sex..."
Rick: "Thought it would be her cooking that would get him..."

LOL!!! Ouch poor Max! He should have told her no handcuffs.

Yeah, I guess so

No handcuffs, no ropes, no whips, no chains... One can only imagine what she might be into for kinky.

And don't forget to ban any plastic bags!

Lt. Colonel Fury wrote

Aramanthus wrote:
And don't forget to ban any plastic bags!


........and car batteries with jumper cables!!!!

And the licroice whips!