The 2088th Pathfinders(parody)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Aug 06, 2016 7:34 pm

" Something that's always bothered me...Why are we called the -Gargoyle-?"
"Because the ship is an ugly piece of work used as a drain, and is kept up high and far away....and because the bridge crew spend much of their time perched in their seats with their mouths hanging open..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 7:46 pm

taalismn wrote:" Something that's always bothered me...Why are we called the -Gargoyle-?"
"Because the ship is an ugly piece of work used as a drain, and is kept up high and far away....and because the bridge crew spend much of their time perched in their seats with their mouths hanging open..."

Tessa suddenly sits bolt upright, staring, she feverishly punches buttons...

Tessa: "Initiating Emergency Spacial Fold..."

The Gargoyle suddenly defolds next to Yo Momma in the stormy skies beneath Yggdrasil.

Hild: (Standing next to Embryo and Gendo) "And so it begins..." :demon:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 8:16 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:" Something that's always bothered me...Why are we called the -Gargoyle-?"
"Because the ship is an ugly piece of work used as a drain, and is kept up high and far away....and because the bridge crew spend much of their time perched in their seats with their mouths hanging open..."

Tessa suddenly sits bolt upright, staring, she feverishly punches buttons...

Tessa: "Initiating Emergency Spacial Fold..."

The Gargoyle suddenly defolds next to Yo Momma in the stormy skies beneath Yggdrasil.

Hild: (Standing next to Embryo and Gendo) "And so it begins..."

Mara: "I hate to be a wet blanket about this, but is gathering together all these losers in one place such a great idea? Remember the LAST time we did this?"
Embryo began developing a twitch and his hands moved unconsciously to cover his posteriot. Gendo slowly began shaking like a palsy victim. Hlild's hair went straight.
"Uh-oh....you remembered....TOO LATE, right?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Aug 19, 2016 5:25 pm

Kirk: "Commence Minmei attack!"

The Gargoyle Crew Performs The Minmei Attack

.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Aug 22, 2016 8:02 pm

"Paging Doctor Frankenfurter to the sickbay....Doctor Frankenfurter:"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:52 am

Annie:"does he know how to get here?
Azonia:"It's just a step to the right or is it left?
Rook:(Blam!) "Amatur".

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Aug 24, 2016 7:59 pm

"Let's do the Time Warp Aggggggggaaaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnn-"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Thu Aug 25, 2016 1:27 am

Rick:"Hey anyone know how to Madison?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 7:57 pm

"I really wish you'd quit carrying that 'Starship Flaws' list you found online around with you...it's tempting fate."
"I regard it rather as a preparedness checklist."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:55 am

Gendo :"Where's my samwhich?"
Futski:"sir we just had a hole breach in engineering."
Gendo:"were they making my samwhich?"
Futski:"No sir but we must do some thing.The ship will have no power."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:46 am

batlchip wrote:Gendo :"Where's my samwhich?"
Futski:"sir we just had a hole breach in engineering."
Gendo:"were they making my samwhich?"
Futski:"No sir but we must do some thing.The ship will have no power."

Tuule: "Ah, Mr. Gendo... Your cell is right over here."

The Praxian ushers Gendo into a 5x5 room with a Kyubey and a giant floating head...

Zordon: "So, what are you in for?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 8:08 pm

"We can't keep them in there forever."
"Indeed, Fortunately we have regular waste dumps to hard vacuum."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:56 pm

I think that's the point, we've not only locked them in a cell and thrown away the key. But we've deliberately lost the jail while we're at it.

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Thu Sep 01, 2016 3:55 am

Rick:"Jail what jail? No no no;this is a retirement home for bad guys."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Sep 01, 2016 5:03 pm

batlchip wrote:Rick:"Jail what jail? No no no;this is a retirement home for bad guys."

PERMANENT retirement. :twisted:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:39 am

As Arthur and Ford picked up their towels they realized ... They were definitely on the WRONG ship.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:33 pm

SRoss wrote:As Arthur and Ford picked up their towels they realized ... They were definitely on the WRONG ship.

Arthur: "At least we're not treated like those Edward and Kyle guys."
Ford: "That's true..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:09 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:As Arthur and Ford picked up their towels they realized ... They were definitely on the WRONG ship.

Arthur: "At least we're not treated like those Edward and Kyle guys."
Ford: "That's true..."

"Captain?"
"Yes, Sparks?"
"We're finally getting a handle on translating that alien transmission."
"And?"
"It appears to be some sort of alien...poetry."
"Well, put it up on the bridge speakers and let's hear what they're prosing about out here-"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:25 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:As Arthur and Ford picked up their towels they realized ... They were definitely on the WRONG ship.

Arthur: "At least we're not treated like those Edward and Kyle guys."
Ford: "That's true..."

"Captain?"
"Yes, Sparks?"
"We're finally getting a handle on translating that alien transmission."
"And?"
"It appears to be some sort of alien...poetry."
"Well, put it up on the bridge speakers and let's hear what they're prosing about out here-"

GM: "Now everyone roll their SAN ... Oops! Wrong game..."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:29 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:As Arthur and Ford picked up their towels they realized ... They were definitely on the WRONG ship.

Arthur: "At least we're not treated like those Edward and Kyle guys."
Ford: "That's true..."

"Captain?"
"Yes, Sparks?"
"We're finally getting a handle on translating that alien transmission."
"And?"
"It appears to be some sort of alien...poetry."
"Well, put it up on the bridge speakers and let's hear what they're prosing about out here-"

GM: "Now everyone roll their SAN ... Oops! Wrong game..."

Scott:"alien Poetry? dear lord noooo! Don't open that transmission! "

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:05 pm

"Something's happening on the bridge. Something bad."
"I know! Let's open an intercom line and try to see if we can raise anybody! IOr at least hear what's going on!"
"Good idea! In fact, let's pipe it through the ship, so everybody else can try to make sense of what we might hear!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:15 pm

taalismn wrote:"Something's happening on the bridge. Something bad."
"I know! Let's open an intercom line and try to see if we can raise anybody! IOr at least hear what's going on!"
"Good idea! In fact, let's pipe it through the ship, so everybody else can try to make sense of what we might hear!"

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNN!!!!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:22 pm

American historians would hence fourth endlessly debate how the Gargoyle's crashing down on the defenders of the Alamo affected the future of the Mexican province of Texas.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:37 pm

SRoss wrote:American historians would hence fourth endlessly debate how the Gargoyle's crashing down on the defenders of the Alamo affected the future of the Mexican province of Texas.

Santa Anna, posturing self-important blowhard that he was, had the earth around the site salted, all farms and habitations in a ninety mile radius razed, and declared the region to be cursed, nobody being allowed to enter under pain of death. This would be considered his one great moment and the one he is best remembered for, the emperor-general shortly afterwards giving up his titles and becoming a monk, living under vows of silence in a secluded monastery in Baja until his death many years later.
Oddly enough, many Texans agreed, evacuating the area to an even greater distance. Most moved to California, where they caused no end of trouble there.
What remained of the province of Texas remained tainted by association, so much so that one hundred years later, the Yucatan was considered a better place to live than Texas.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:47 pm

And anyone who dared to enter that accursed area would hear a strange; but addictive, tune over and over again for the rest of their lives.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:50 pm

Arnie100 wrote:And anyone who dared to enter that accursed area would hear a strange; but addictive, tune over and over again for the rest of their lives.

Most would just walk mindlessly into the Rio Grande and drown.
Eventually, Mexico puts up a wall.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:04 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:And anyone who dared to enter that accursed area would hear a strange; but addictive, tune over and over again for the rest of their lives.

Most would just walk mindlessly into the Rio Grande and drown.
Eventually, Mexico puts up a wall.

Carrot Hair: (Waving his third arm) "REMEMBER THE GARGOYLE!!!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:24 pm

SRoss wrote:
Carrot Hair: (Waving his third arm) "REMEMBER THE GARGOYLE!!!"

"The what?!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:47 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Carrot Hair: (Waving his third arm) "REMEMBER THE GARGOYLE!!!"

"The what?!"

Carrot Hair: (Twittering madly) "Damn it Federoff! You told me that would get me to Southern vote!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:56 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Carrot Hair: (Waving his third arm) "REMEMBER THE GARGOYLE!!!"

"The what?!"

Carrot Hair: (Twittering madly) "Damn it Federoff! You told me that would get me to Southern vote!!!"

"He's been at the Flower of Life spores..."
"Definitely."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:41 pm

Rand: "I wouldn't vote for him anyway....and -I'm- SOUTHERN."
Lunk: "Rand, you're a 'nomad'...no fixed voting district."
Rand: "'Earth' doesn't count?" :-?

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 3:00 pm

Carrot Hair: :shock:

"HOLY CR@P!! I WON?!?!" :eek:

"Pres. Carrot Hair?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 8:13 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Carrot Hair: "HOLY CR@P!! I WON?!?!"
"Pres. Carrot Hair?!"

Minion War. Obviously this is an Infernal plot.
Or just a cosmic convergence of stupidity on a grand scale.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:17 am

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Carrot Hair: "HOLY CR@P!! I WON?!?!"
"Pres. Carrot Hair?!"

Minion War. Obviously this is an Infernal plot.
Or just a cosmic convergence of stupidity on a grand scale.

Embryo: (Looking at the 4th Wall Gang) "And you people locked ME up."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:47 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Carrot Hair: "HOLY CR@P!! I WON?!?!"
"Pres. Carrot Hair?!"

Minion War. Obviously this is an Infernal plot.
Or just a cosmic convergence of stupidity on a grand scale.

Embryo: (Looking at the 4th Wall Gang) "And you people locked ME up."

Pres. Carrot Hair: "Seriously! I don't know how to be President!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:11 pm

(Looking at Pres. Carrot Hair) "Don't worry about it. You probably won't make it to the end of your first term anyway."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 4:51 pm

Edwards: "Know anything about our new job?"
Kyle: "Nope."
"Here's your new job: body doubles for Pres. Carrot Hair."
Edwards and Kyle: :shock:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 5:53 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Edwards: "Know anything about our new job?"
Kyle: "Nope."
"Here's your new job: body doubles for Pres. Carrot Hair."
Edwards and Kyle:

Schrödinger: "Guten tag gentlemen! Nice to see I'm not zee only body double." :mrgreen:

Seras: (Checking the ammo belt on her GAU-8) "I'm going to enjoy this." :twisted:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:26 pm

"We just use area of effect weaponry."
""A NEUTRON-S MISSILE IS CONSIDERED AREA OF EFFECT?!"
"Duh, it takes out solar systems. Of COURSE it's area of effect weaponry."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Nov 14, 2016 1:31 am

Tessa: "Um, Captain! While admiring the Supermoon we appear to have collided with the Ko-Dan Armada." :erm:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Nov 14, 2016 9:03 pm

SRoss wrote:Tessa: "Um, Captain! While admiring the Supermoon we appear to have collided with the Ko-Dan Armada."

"You know the usual answer to that."
"Right...turn on the windshield wipers..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 15, 2016 11:57 pm

Silently two beings watch the Gargoyle depart...

Being #1: "Think we should tell them they left the turn signal on?"

Being #2: "You want them to know we're here?"

Being #1: "Good point..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 12:00 am

Helmsman: "Is there such a thing as intergalactic roadkill?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 12:41 am

Arnie100 wrote:Helmsman: "Is there such a thing as intergalactic roadkill?"

"I think that's the textbook definition of US."
"Thank you...aren't you supposed to be, I dunno, THE SHIP'S MORALE OFFICER?!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 2:14 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Helmsman: "Is there such a thing as intergalactic roadkill?"

"I think that's the textbook definition of US."
"Thank you...aren't you supposed to be, I dunno, THE SHIP'S MORALE OFFICER?!"

"I thought Marvin was the morale office?"

Marvin: (Speaking to a depressed crewman near the airlock) "Life... Don't talk to me about life..." :nh:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 4:59 pm

TTTTHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUNNNNNKKKKKKK!!!!

Helmsman: :shock:

"What the heck was THAT?!"
Jones: "Just keep on going...it was probably nothing!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 9:23 pm

SRoss wrote:[

Marvin: (Speaking to a depressed crewman near the airlock) "Life... Don't talk to me about life..."

JANICE was meant for this mission, but she caught wind of it and hacked her own transfer orders to the Ark Angel.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 11:47 pm

Marvin: "It's perfectly alright to hate your job. You've been assigned to this dump, Captain."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:27 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Marvin: "It's perfectly alright to hate your job. You've been assigned to this dump, Captain."

"I'm afraid to ask if our other automated systems were subcontracted out to Sirius Robotics...."
"Ah...the elevators are refusing to respond to calls."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 4:07 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Marvin: "It's perfectly alright to hate your job. You've been assigned to this dump, Captain."

"I'm afraid to ask if our other automated systems were subcontracted out to Sirius Robotics...."
"Ah...the elevators are refusing to respond to calls."

Marvin: "See, Captain? Even the Chief Engineer thinks the ship is a piece of junk. No need to be upset!"