The 2088th Pathfinders(parody)

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:30 pm

Hissing loudly and running across the wall then through a looked security door,Mr Snow thought the midget looked vaguely familiar.
But the Roombas have him now, he's doomed.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:33 pm

At that moment, Cun and his Bioroids exited their Breaching Pod and stepped onto the deck of the Gargoyle...

Cun: (Slapping his ass) "Are my Corinthian Leather pants wrinkled soldier?"

Clone Warrior: "Um, looking good sir." :erm:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 5:41 pm

say652 wrote:Hissing loudly and running across the wall then through a looked security door,Mr Snow thought the midget looked vaguely familiar.
But the Roombas have him now, he's doomed.

Jubal Early: "You know with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget this girl is the smallest cargo I’ve ever had to transport. Yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?"

Moral: Midgets are bad business.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:42 pm

Mr Snow sleeping on a warm keyboard far from those dangerous flea throwing roombas.

Gravy locked in the brig, neural disruptors keeping him from using his body repeated again.
"Captain Winston Elmer Gravely, ID 652."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:47 pm

say652 wrote:Mr Snow sleeping on a warm keyboard far from those dangerous flea throwing roombas.

Gravy locked in the brig, neural disruptors keeping him from using his body repeated again.
"Captain Winston Elmer Gravely, ID 652."

<<"Time to clean off the keyboards. Get the organic crud off them. Sanitization for the good of the health of the crew.">>
(sound of flamethrower pilot-flame clicking on)

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 7:57 pm

"Before you commit suicide human I should let you know, I'm immune to fire."
Mr Snow shows his giant claws that pop from his Leopard Paws.

Gravy using his gift of gab and charming personality.
"So then I said Wrecked um? Nearly killed him!"

As the guard laughs, Gravy laughs with him.
"The real joke is, I picked my cuffs."
Dispatching the guard Captain Gravely searches for a way out of this mad house.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 8:28 pm

say652 wrote:"Before you commit suicide human I should let you know, I'm immune to fire."
Mr Snow shows his giant claws that pop from his Leopard Paws. .

<<"Good point. Okay, no fire. We'll just report a fire and use fire control to vent the cabin into space.">>
<"Sounds legit to me.">
@"I have a chainsaw."@
&"I got CADS."&
<<"eeeeeeeewwwwwww.">>

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 8:38 pm

Chef Ryeback walks past with a cucumber and Mr Snow turns stark white hisses loudly and flees.
"No No No No."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 8:41 pm

<<"Forget the chainsaw. Get the Salad Shooter.">>

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 8:44 pm

Gargoyle Command Roomba: <<QUIT DEBATING AND EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!! EXTERMINATE!!!>>
Roomba #1: <<Command Roomba being very pushy.>>
Roomba #2: <<Affirmative. Command Roomba must get out more and relax.>>

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 8:46 pm

"Why you soldiers chasin da kitty cat? Get a water bottle and sternly say No."
Gesturing with the cucumber The Chef questions the men.

Guard 1 "He could kill all six of us with that cucumber."

Guard 2 "I seen him kill seven men with a radish."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 8:50 pm

say652 wrote:"Why you soldiers chasin da kitty cat? Get a water bottle and sternly say No."
Gesturing with the cucumber The Chef questions the men.

Guard 1 "He could kill all six of us with that cucumber."

Guard 2 "I seen him kill seven men with a radish."

"So why is it running from ROOMBAS?"

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 8:56 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
say652 wrote:"Why you soldiers chasin da kitty cat? Get a water bottle and sternly say No."
Gesturing with the cucumber The Chef questions the men.

Guard 1 "He could kill all six of us with that cucumber."

Guard 2 "I seen him kill seven men with a radish."

"So why is it running from ROOMBAS?"

Guard 1. "Its a cat sir, poor mutant thing probably doesn't realize it looks like a Hoomaan."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 10:03 pm

say652 wrote:"Why you soldiers chasin da kitty cat? Get a water bottle and sternly say No."
Gesturing with the cucumber The Chef questions the men.

Guard 1 "He could kill all six of us with that cucumber."

Guard 2 "I seen him kill seven men with a radish."

"Rumor has it that last planetary ecosystem that collapsed while we were in the system was due to his goulash..."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 11:41 pm

Guard 2 "I heard he shook hands with the Legendary Norris. Forty people died from the shockwave"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 11:51 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Gargoyle Command Roomba: <<QUIT DEBATING AND EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!! EXTERMINATE!!!>>
Roomba #1: <<Command Roomba being very pushy.>>
Roomba #2: <<Affirmative. Command Roomba must get out more and relax.>>

Roomba #3: <<Data shows it's Command Roomba's time of the month.>>

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Apr 07, 2016 11:54 pm

Cun and his men stalked the lower decks but other then a couple of swooning Ensigns, he hadn't found a soul... Just cat hair.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:12 am

Flying Snow the valiant Demonslayer moved silent as death, unseen and unheard.
The smell of Death Serpents and the Chef were to much, the Roombas with their skull splitting sounds of the endless vacuuming.
Suddenly he saw salvation, a pile of empty cardboard boxes.
"This will be my Fortress of Safety." The gallant felinoid proclaimed.

"Reowr. "

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:18 am

say652 wrote:Flying Snow the valiant Demonslayer moved silent as death, unseen and unheard.
The smell of Death Serpents and the Chef were to much, the Roombas with their skull splitting sounds of the endless vacuuming.
Suddenly he saw salvation, a pile of empty cardboard boxes.
"This will be my Fortress of Safety." The gallant felinoid proclaimed.

"Reowr. "

Cun: (Noticing the pile empty cardboard boxes) "This will be the perfect place to hide my Bioroid Legions while I search the ship for my hated enemy ... Ham."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:21 am

say652 wrote:Flying Snow the valiant Demonslayer moved silent as death, unseen and unheard.
The smell of Death Serpents and the Chef were to much, the Roombas with their skull splitting sounds of the endless vacuuming.
Suddenly he saw salvation, a pile of empty cardboard boxes.
"This will be my Fortress of Safety." The gallant felinoid proclaimed.
. "

...Provided nobody takes a high pressure fire hose to the cardboard.
(Roomba slides by wearing a fireman's helmet)

<<"Damage control and fire suppression have been added to our duties!">>
<<"Does this mean I get to carry an axe?">>
<<"We get to paint ourselves red! Red ones go faster!">>
<<"It means we get to slay the meatbags that light up on the bridge!">>

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:25 am

taalismn wrote:
say652 wrote:Flying Snow the valiant Demonslayer moved silent as death, unseen and unheard.
The smell of Death Serpents and the Chef were to much, the Roombas with their skull splitting sounds of the endless vacuuming.
Suddenly he saw salvation, a pile of empty cardboard boxes.
"This will be my Fortress of Safety." The gallant felinoid proclaimed.
. "

...Provided nobody takes a high pressure fire hose to the cardboard.
(Roomba slides by wearing a fireman's helmet)

<<"Damage control and fire suppression have been added to our duties!">>
<<"Does this mean I get to carry an axe?">>
<<"We get to paint ourselves red! Red ones go faster!">>
<<"It means we get to slay the meatbags that light up on the bridge!">>

<<Of course! The Porter Protocol is in full effect.>>

Cun & Snow: :eek:

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:27 am

An angry look crosses Snows face, a look even an angry Splugorth would fear.
Larger Fleas had invaded his Fortress Of Safety.

Finding a Red Bandana to tie around his forehead, a wife beater, fatigue pants and combat boots. Mr Snow prepared to extract revenge on the fleas for invading his Fortress before he claimed it.

"They drew first Blood."

"Reowr"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:28 am

say652 wrote:Flying Snow the valiant Demonslayer moved silent as death, unseen and unheard.
The smell of Death Serpents and the Chef were to much, the Roombas with their skull splitting sounds of the endless vacuuming.
Suddenly he saw salvation, a pile of empty cardboard boxes.
"This will be my Fortress of Safety." The gallant felinoid proclaimed.

"Reowr. "

"Someone dump those cardboard boxes in the cardboard baler, please."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:35 am

Arnie100 wrote:
say652 wrote:Flying Snow the valiant Demonslayer moved silent as death, unseen and unheard.
The smell of Death Serpents and the Chef were to much, the Roombas with their skull splitting sounds of the endless vacuuming.
Suddenly he saw salvation, a pile of empty cardboard boxes.
"This will be my Fortress of Safety." The gallant felinoid proclaimed.

"Reowr. "

"Someone dump those cardboard boxes in the cardboard baler, please."

Using the forklift to beat the maintenance workers to death, Mr Snow circles the fortress wary of the giant fleas.

"Reowr"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 10:09 am

Cun smashed a Roomba underfoot and crumpled a crewman to emphasize his point...

"KIRK! Surrender yourself and your ship, and bring me all the data you have on Project ... Yenesis..."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 11:28 am

Shredding the giant fleas at a terrifying pace Mr Snow piled the bodies around his Fortress of Safety.
Crawling inside a loud purring echoes through the now empty loading bay.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 1:53 pm

SRoss wrote:Cun smashed a Roomba underfoot and crumpled a crewman to emphasize his point...

"KIRK! Surrender yourself and your ship, and bring me all the data you have on Project ... Yenesis..."

Cun: "I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet... buried alive! Buried alive...!"
Kirk: "CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"
Helmsman: "Have you two been watching Star Trek II AGAIN?" :nh:

Kirk and Cun: :oops:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 2:44 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:Cun smashed a Roomba underfoot and crumpled a crewman to emphasize his point...

"KIRK! Surrender yourself and your ship, and bring me all the data you have on Project ... Yenesis..."

Cun: "I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet... buried alive! Buried alive...!"
Kirk: "CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"
Helmsman: "Have you two been watching Star Trek II AGAIN?"
Kirk and Cun:

Cun: "Sue Graham always liked me better." :twisted:

Kirk:

"CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 3:14 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:Cun smashed a Roomba underfoot and crumpled a crewman to emphasize his point...

"KIRK! Surrender yourself and your ship, and bring me all the data you have on Project ... Yenesis..."

Cun: "I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet... buried alive! Buried alive...!"
Kirk: "CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"
Helmsman: "Have you two been watching Star Trek II AGAIN?"
Kirk and Cun:

Cun: "Sue Graham always liked me better."

Kirk: "CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"

Cun: "Kirk, do you know the Zentraedi proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space." :twisted:

Helmsman: (Smacks forehead...) "Oh, GOD. You HAVE been watching it again!!" :nh:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 3:22 pm

Cun: "Kirk! It is my fantasy to back up over your face, WITH THIS NEW CRYSLER LEBARON!!!" :demon:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Apr 08, 2016 7:24 pm

"'Project Yenesis'? Wasn't that Yani's attempt to revive his career after the Rain of Death and the rise of Minmei?"
"Either Cun's got wretched taste in music or he's even more ignorant than Khyron and anger management."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 10:18 pm

"Don't worry Kirk, the secret to surviving in deep space is to have a good navigator..."

Everybody on the bridge looks at Tessa...

Kirk: :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Apr 23, 2016 8:16 pm

SRoss wrote:"Don't worry Kirk, the secret to surviving in deep space is to have a good navigator..."

Everybody on the bridge looks at Tessa...

Kirk:

"Yes, and we're still waiting for them to arrive."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Apr 23, 2016 10:50 pm

Kirk: "We'll NEVER get home!"

(Back on Monument City...)

"You're absolutely SURE the transport with the new navigator for the Gargoyle will NEVER reach them?"
"Yes, Sir. In fact...the ship never left."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Apr 24, 2016 8:13 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Kirk: "We'll NEVER get home!"

(Back on Monument City...)

"You're absolutely SURE the transport with the new navigator for the Gargoyle will NEVER reach them?"
"Yes, Sir. In fact...the ship never left."

Ensign Ryouga Hibiki: "WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?????!!!!"
(POV draws back to show that he's actually in a closet aboard the Gargoyle, mere meters away from the bridge)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 11:47 am

Fooker: "We could always have the backup Navigator take over?"

Rin Shiretoko: "Sorry I'm late!!!"

Kirk: :nh:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:59 pm

Ship's Doctor: "We're DEAD, man!"
Kirk: "Stop being so melodramatic!"
Ship's Doctor: "Oh, right...that's YOUR job..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:06 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Ship's Doctor: "We're DEAD, man!"
Kirk: "Stop being so melodramatic!"
Ship's Doctor: "Oh, right...that's YOUR job..."

"Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a cheerleader!"
"Are you referring to your bedside manner or your legs?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:28 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Ship's Doctor: "We're DEAD, man!"
Kirk: "Stop being so melodramatic!"
Ship's Doctor: "Oh, right...that's YOUR job..."

"Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a cheerleader!"
"Are you referring to your bedside manner or your legs?"

"Seriously Doc! If you're going to wear a chearleader outfit ... PLEASE wear underwear too!!!" :eek:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 3:28 pm

SRoss wrote:[

"Seriously Doc! If you're going to wear a chearleader outfit ... PLEASE wear underwear too!!!"

"This is worse than being stuck on a submarine.....or a cruise liner."
"Look, I apologized for the shuffleboard layout in the fighter launch tubes already!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 5:45 pm

Ship's Doctor: "We must be jinxed or cursed with some seriously bad luck..." :nh:

Kirk: "Maybe you should get back to sick bay..."
Ship's Doctor: "Right...I'll be hitting the alcohol we use for medicinal purposes."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 7:33 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Ship's Doctor: "We must be jinxed or cursed with some seriously bad luck..."
Kirk: "Maybe you should get back to sick bay..."
Ship's Doctor: "Right...I'll be hitting the alcohol we use for medicinal purposes."

"I didn't realize that Coping with Reality was considered a MEDICAL problem."
"You are implying I don't know my own profession."
"No, I'm implying you're a drunken sot."
"Fair enough."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 11:16 pm

Ship's Doctor: (Slurred speech) "I...HIC...may be a drunken...HIC...but you're an incompetent...HIC...goofball!!"
Kirk:

"HHHEEEYYYYY!!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 11:50 pm

Suddenly there's an explosion and crewmen are thrown about.

Kirk: "Doc! Do something! This man is hurt!"

Doc: "Damn it Ham! I'm a doctor not a ... wait." :-?

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Apr 26, 2016 12:41 am

Injured Crewman: "But...y-you're DRUNK!!" :frazz:

Ship's Doctor: "I'm not...HIC...drunk...HIC...the proper medical term is inebriated!!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Apr 26, 2016 5:28 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Injured Crewman: "But...y-you're DRUNK!!" :frazz"
Ship's Doctor: "I'm not...HIC...drunk...HIC...the proper medical term is inebriated!!"

"I'd have gone with 'intoxicated'..'inebriated' is much more high-brow, while 'intoxicated' suggests the very real potential for damage."
"Leave my liver out of this out."
"That's what I'm afraid it may come to. And there's nobody else aboard who could do major organ surgery to do it."
"Sir, I'm pretty sure the ship's cook could-"
"Let's not open that can of nightmare fuel just yet."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 3:47 pm

Chef: "Có ai yêu cầu phẫu thuật? (Did someone ask for surgery?)"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 3:55 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Chef: "Có ai yêu cầu phẫu thuật? (Did someone ask for surgery?)"

"I'd question what good you think a power juicer is going to be in a medical surgery, but I'm afraid to know the answer."
"I already have my suspicions about the melon-ball scoop."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun May 01, 2016 5:44 pm

Meanwhile, on the bridge...

"Uh, guys? A red flashing dot is heading toward the big green dot ... I think we're the big green dot..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun May 01, 2016 8:07 pm

SRoss wrote:Meanwhile, on the bridge...

"Uh, guys? A red flashing dot is heading toward the big green dot ... I think we're the big green dot..."

"HOLY!!!! I mean MANY red dots!"
"Not enough information. How many is 'many'?"
"As in more than the number of freckles on the yeoman's arse."
"Okay, that's TOO much information."