The 2088th Pathfinders(parody)

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:34 pm

taalismn wrote:Yep, because every starship needs a bored amoral supercomputer to make things interesting. Just ask Vexxarr.

Vexxarr?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:Yep, because every starship needs a bored amoral supercomputer to make things interesting. Just ask Vexxarr.

Vexxarr?

Online web comic...VERY funny, with some designs clearly inspired by Robotech. It's about a snarky alien loser who, like Invader Zim, is sent to Earth to conquer it just to get rid of him, and he knows it. He loses, gets captured by the humans, and his confiscated starship effectively bootstraps humanity into the Galactic Club, Then they let him go, and the ongoing strip is of him trying to find someplace in the universe where people and events aren't trying to kill him...or worse.
Worse yet, he's got the requisite crew of misfits who are driving him up the wall(and vice versa), including an onboard AI that is actively trying to kill him, but which is held in check by Vexxarr's own cunning, and by the fact that the AI's own sub-sets and backups are vying for dominance and often monkeywrench the AI currently running the ship.
It's very funny, very snarky, and epic crazy.

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:50 pm

taalismn wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:Yep, because every starship needs a bored amoral supercomputer to make things interesting. Just ask Vexxarr.

Vexxarr?

Online web comic...VERY funny, with some designs clearly inspired by Robotech. It's about a snarky alien loser who, like Invader Zim, is sent to Earth to conquer it just to get rid of him, and he knows it. He loses, gets captured by the humans, and his confiscated starship effectively bootstraps humanity into the Galactic Club, Then they let him go, and the ongoing strip is of him trying to find someplace in the universe where people and events aren't trying to kill him...or worse.
Worse yet, he's got the requisite crew of misfits who are driving him up the wall(and vice versa), including an onboard AI that is actively trying to kill him, but which is held in check by Vexxarr's own cunning, and by the fact that the AI's own sub-sets and backups are vying for dominance and often monkeywrench the AI currently running the ship.
It's very funny, very snarky, and epic crazy.

Nice, thanks for the info I'll have to look it up one of these days.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 4:02 pm

"...ah..it's beautiful seeing the galactic pinwheel from this perspective....gives you a real sense of perspective...of your place in the cosmos...and, I can't quite put my finger on it...there's a sense of meaning that eludes me."
"It means we're bloody lost because we're not supposed to be out this far and we don't know which of those spiral arms we're supposed to be in because some bloody sod spilled his soda on the navigation console."
"...ah yes, that meaning, which I was mentally suppressing.."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 9:42 pm

taalismn wrote:"...ah..it's beautiful seeing the galactic pinwheel from this perspective....gives you a real sense of perspective...of your place in the cosmos...and, I can't quite put my finger on it...there's a sense of meaning that eludes me."
"It means we're bloody lost because we're not supposed to be out this far and we don't know which of those spiral arms we're supposed to be in because some bloody sod spilled his soda on the navigation console."
"...ah yes, that meaning, which I was mentally suppressing.."

LT.Jones: " Sorry Sir but there are no stated rules about not being allowed to eat or drink on the bridge, also *Somone!* startled me causing me to spill my drink. "

*Roy starts to sneeze*

Roy:" How the hell did I get hay fever in deep space? "

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 7:59 pm

In retrospect, Roy's smokebombing of the bridge probably wasn't a good idea...

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Jun 24, 2015 9:31 pm

taalismn wrote:In retrospect, Roy's smokebombing of the bridge probably wasn't a good idea...

EShemarian (who happens to look like Sammie): (Charging a big horkin Plasma Rifle) "I SAID NO SMOKING ON THE BRIDGE!!!"

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Jun 25, 2015 12:49 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:In retrospect, Roy's smokebombing of the bridge probably wasn't a good idea...

EShemarian (who happens to look like Sammie): (Charging a big horkin Plasma Rifle) "I SAID NO SMOKING ON THE BRIDGE!!!"

So says little Miss.Burny. :roll:

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Jun 25, 2015 12:50 pm

taalismn wrote:In retrospect, Roy's smokebombing of the bridge probably wasn't a good idea...

Which makes me wonder if Roy likes the old 80's rock band Montly Crew?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jun 25, 2015 1:46 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:In retrospect, Roy's smokebombing of the bridge probably wasn't a good idea...

EShemarian (who happens to look like Sammie): (Charging a big horkin Plasma Rifle) "I SAID NO SMOKING ON THE BRIDGE!!!"

So says little Miss.Burny.

Because a rail gun would decompress the bridge.
But yeah, a particle beam pistol would have probably have been a better choice...
Or laser arm bracers(part of the reason Shemarrians are NEVER groped on subway trains).

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jun 25, 2015 4:31 pm

EShemarrian: "The little worm groped me!!!"

Nova: "SO YOU BLEW UP THE TOKYO TRANSIT RAIL SYSTEM!?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jun 25, 2015 4:54 pm

SRoss wrote:EShemarrian: "The little worm groped me!!!"

Nova: "SO YOU BLEW UP THE TOKYO TRANSIT RAIL SYSTEM!?!"

Dana: "Actually I can't really blame her...You ever ridden the Monument City tube recently?"

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:12 am

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:EShemarrian: "The little worm groped me!!!"

Nova: "SO YOU BLEW UP THE TOKYO TRANSIT RAIL SYSTEM!?!"

Dana: "Actually I can't really blame her...You ever ridden the Monument City tube recently?"

Looks like someone is not *In Touch* with their feminine side.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jul 01, 2015 7:29 pm

"So...we were given Neutron -S missiles?!"
"Looks like it."
"I know I'm going to regret asking but...WHY???!!!"
"To wipe out future threats to navigation and the expansion of humanity into the galaxy. Don't worry, though, when High Command delivered the bombs, they came equipped with safeguards."
"Again, I regret asking..what safeguards?"
"Each missile comes with its own failsafe AI! They CAN'T go off unauthorized; they're not programmed to."
"I already have grave misgivings about this...."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Jul 01, 2015 7:40 pm

taalismn wrote:"So...we were given Neutron -S missiles?!"
"Looks like it."
"I know I'm going to regret asking but...WHY???!!!"
"To wipe out future threats to navigation and the expansion of humanity into the galaxy. Don't worry, though, when High Command delivered the bombs, they came equipped with safeguards."
"Again, I regret asking..what safeguards?"
"Each missile comes with its own failsafe AI! They CAN'T go off unauthorized; they're not programmed to."
"I already have grave misgivings about this...."

Neutron-S Missile: "I don't know why you're worried Dave? I'm perfectly safe..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:14 pm

"Don't talk philosophy with the bomb, okay?" :frazz:

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 7:39 pm

taalismn wrote:"Don't talk philosophy with the bomb, okay?"

Heh having a discusion on life with a semi sentent weapon of mass destruction with either make you see life as something wonderful and noblebright or make you sucidly depressed.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 7:46 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Don't talk philosophy with the bomb, okay?"

Heh having a discusion on life with a semi sentent weapon of mass destruction with either make you see life as something wonderful and noblebright or make you sucidly depressed.

"Let there be li-"
SNIP
"-I'm really glad I studied the schematics to these things. It's always the blue wire..."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:15 pm

taalismn wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Don't talk philosophy with the bomb, okay?"

Heh having a discusion on life with a semi sentent weapon of mass destruction with either make you see life as something wonderful and noblebright or make you sucidly depressed.

"Let there be li-"
SNIP
"-I'm really glad I studied the schematics to these things. It's always the blue wire..."

I guess talking about life an death to a weapon of planetary destruction wasn't such a *bright* idea after all.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:22 pm

Stellar Thermonuclearly bright if you choose the wrong course of philosophical discussion.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:26 pm

You know since it's already been done for the IceGuard, shouldn't we have a list of reasons you were assigned to the 2088[sup]th[/sup]?

Here's the first entry:

"I swear to God, I thought Pollinators could fly..."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:33 pm

taalismn wrote:Stellar Thermonuclearly bright if you choose the wrong course of philosophical discussion.

True but it does make for a *Hot* debate topic

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:36 pm

SRoss wrote:You know since it's already been done for the IceGuard, shouldn't we have a list of reasons you were assigned to the 2088[sup]th[/sup]?

Here's the first entry:

"I swear to God, I thought Pollinators could fly..."

" Sure I might have embressed our female CO by removing her clothing with a pin point fold operation juring the first contact with Zerg but it was an honest mistake, I forgot to cary the decmel two places. "

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:39 pm

"All I did was ask for directions to the bathroom at Cosmic Corp. HQ, and I wound up here...."

"I was minding my own business when some guy said 'here, put on this spacesuit!', so I did, and some other guy then grabbed me and hustled me aboard..."

"I thought nuclear weapons were surgical strike ordnance like they are in Rifts!"

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:42 pm

taalismn wrote:"All I did was ask for directions to the bathroom at Cosmic Corp. HQ, and I wound up here...."

"I was minding my own business when some guy said 'here, put on this spacesuit!', so I did, and some other guy then grabbed me and hustled me aboard..."

"I thought nuclear weapons were surgical strike ordnance like they are in Rifts!"

" How was I to know that bottled alien booze was subject to quarentn protcals. "

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 9:01 pm

"Yeah I lit a match. How else was I supposed to find the oxygen leak?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 9:04 pm

"How was I supposed to know we didn't REALLY use Midi's in first contact situations."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 10:23 pm

"That was Rand's idea..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jul 02, 2015 11:12 pm

"So I told the so-called admiral what I thought of the elitist war-mongering organization of the fleet and his presumptive ordering of me around! It's the people's RIGHT to express their dissatisfaction and protest orders that are issued without a common consensus!"

"Okay, I get the message my folks are trying to tell me about discipline in my life. Can I go home now?"

"I'm pretty sure defaulting on student loans isn't supposed to have this sort of penalty..."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Fri Jul 03, 2015 6:19 am

taalismn wrote:"So I told the so-called admiral what I thought of the elitist war-mongering organization of the fleet and his presumptive ordering of me around! It's the people's RIGHT to express their dissatisfaction and protest orders that are issued without a common consensus!"

And so it came to pass that Lynn Kyle findly did something right with his useless, failed, misrable life when he *volentered* to be a *good will* scrafice to the unholy Gods Of Terror juring the 2088th's first contact with the Dark Reapers of Painmort. :mrgreen:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:05 pm

Yeeah, the 2088th keeps a Zentraedi stasis locker full of expendables....too dumb to put to work, too smartass to leave awake and bored...

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Fri Jul 03, 2015 11:00 pm

taalismn wrote:Yeeah, the 2088th keeps a Zentraedi stasis locker full of expendables....too dumb to put to work, too smartass to leave awake and bored...

Yep not quite the *Deep Freeze* of the Ice Guard but it does tend to *chill out* the more troublesom cannon fodder....brave *volenters*

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jul 03, 2015 11:10 pm

"So how many Kyle clones do we have for suici - first contact missions?"
"Plenty"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jul 04, 2015 8:08 pm

"Hell, I didn't even know Xerox MADE cloning equipment."
"Well, after the thousandth copy without cleaning the rollers or refreshing the source DNA, they come out looking pretty distorted to the point it's a mercy killing them off quick."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Sat Jul 04, 2015 8:10 pm

taalismn wrote:"Hell, I didn't even know Xerox MADE cloning equipment."
"Well, after the thousandth copy without cleaning the rollers or refreshing the source DNA, they come out looking pretty distorted to the point it's a mercy killing them off quick."

" Is it Real or is it Memrox? "

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jul 04, 2015 8:27 pm

"This DNA helix is two dimensional."
"So's the person it belongs to."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Sun Jul 05, 2015 10:55 am

taalismn wrote:"This DNA helix is two dimensional."
"So's the person it belongs to."

No depth of personalty eh?, I'm sure many world leaders would want that in their Dogs Of War/killbots, I mean look what the Robttech Masters did with the zents.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Jul 05, 2015 1:44 pm

Edwards: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!! They are so talking about YOU!!!"
Kyle: Sniff "I HATE YOU."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Sun Jul 05, 2015 7:36 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Edwards: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!! They are so talking about YOU!!!"
Kyle: Sniff "I HATE YOU."

Kargan3033: " Kyle for what it's worth we only talk about you becuase we find you *Intresting* unlike that old has been Edwards. "

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:26 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"This DNA helix is two dimensional."
"So's the person it belongs to."

No depth of personalty eh?, I'm sure many world leaders would want that in their Dogs Of War/killbots, I mean look what the Robttech Masters did with the zents.

....We ARE talking about Lynn Kyle here, you realize. Either loudmouthed alcoholic hypocritical creep cousin-stalker, or bearded uniformed obsessive creepy cousin-stalker.

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 9:17 am

taalismn wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"This DNA helix is two dimensional."
"So's the person it belongs to."

No depth of personalty eh?, I'm sure many world leaders would want that in their Dogs Of War/killbots, I mean look what the Robttech Masters did with the zents.

....We ARE talking about Lynn Kyle here, you realize. Either loudmouthed alcoholic hypocritical creep cousin-stalker, or bearded uniformed obsessive creepy cousin-stalker.

Good point, could you imagen being a fly on the wall juring the family cousoling sessions?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:48 pm

"On the positive side, even though I wind up getting killed in proxy, I AM seeing a greater part of the universe than I might have otherwise."---Lynn Kyle

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 4:33 pm

taalismn wrote:"On the positive side, even though I wind up getting killed in proxy, I AM seeing a greater part of the universe than I might have otherwise."---Lynn Kyle

Rabid female robotech fan: " There you are sweetie, time to play. "

*Holds up an Adult Toy covered in razor sharp, rusty, electrfied barbwire that is leaking glowing mutagenic acids*

Rabid female robotech Fan: " What was your AC agian?, don't matter, think warm thoughts because this is going to be might cold. "

Kyle: :eek:

Rabid Female Robotech Fan: " Don't worry Minmei your turn will come next, usualy it's Ladies first but since men and women are now equal it doesn't matter who goes forst, besides your no lady. "

Minmei: :eek:

*Starts to franticly claw at the locked 50 ft thick steel door.*

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 5:48 pm

If any of the diehard Macross fans who haunt 4chan wandered into that...it's small wonder they hate us....

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:08 pm

taalismn wrote:If any of the diehard Macross fans who haunt 4chan wandered into that...it's small wonder they hate us....

Where do you think that I got the idea for this? :mrgreen:

4chan is my other home away from home.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:26 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:If any of the diehard Macross fans who haunt 4chan wandered into that...it's small wonder they hate us....

Where do you think that I got the idea for this?
4chan is my other home away from home.

That was certainly nastier then my Kyle and Minmei's adventures on Gor idea. Or Roy and Claudia meet Fencer of Minerva.

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:32 pm

SRoss wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:If any of the diehard Macross fans who haunt 4chan wandered into that...it's small wonder they hate us....

Where do you think that I got the idea for this?
4chan is my other home away from home.

That was certainly nastier then my Kyle and Minmei's adventures on Gor idea. Or Roy and Claudia meet Fencer of Minerva.

I take it those are some type of fiction stories?

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:54 pm

Actually the first one was a very short crossover, The Macross Folded in, the Bridge Bunnies held Gloval and the other males at bay with spears, while Lisa and Claudia Folded them out. (Just before Kyle could brand Minmei) Fencer of Minerva was mentioned during that.

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:00 pm

SRoss wrote:Actually the first one was a very short crossover, The Macross Folded in, the Bridge Bunnies held Gloval and the other males at bay with spears, while Lisa and Claudia Folded them out. (Just before Kyle could brand Minmei) Fencer of Minerva was mentioned during that.

Where is this story at?

You know this gives me an idea for an *Intresting* story

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:41 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:Actually the first one was a very short crossover, The Macross Folded in, the Bridge Bunnies held Gloval and the other males at bay with spears, while Lisa and Claudia Folded them out. (Just before Kyle could brand Minmei) Fencer of Minerva was mentioned during that.

Where is this story at?

You know this gives me an idea for an *Intresting* story

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