The 37th Deep Ones ASC Sea Sqaud(Paordy)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 4:15 pm

The sub diverts from the River Styx to the River Lethe...

"Um, what were we doing again?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 6:15 pm

SRoss wrote:The sub diverts from the River Styx to the River Lethe...

"Um, what were we doing again?"

"How'd we end up in the Mediterranean?"
"I have NO idea, sir."
"Business as usual, eh?"
"...I don't smell alcohol in here, so it can't be the usual.."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 10:31 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:The sub diverts from the River Styx to the River Lethe...

"Um, what were we doing again?"

"How'd we end up in the Mediterranean?"
"I have NO idea, sir."
"Business as usual, eh?"
"...I don't smell alcohol in here, so it can't be the usual.."

Cut to: The Navigator plotting their course using his trusty Red Lobster[sup]TM[/sup] placemat.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 11:43 pm

SRoss wrote:[

Cut to: The Navigator plotting their course using his trusty Red Lobster[sup]TM[/sup] placemat.

"Why does this bridge smell of melted butter?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 12:17 am

Navigator: "I don't know what you're talking about, Sir!" (Munching on a lobster tail...)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 12:30 am

Arnie100 wrote:Navigator: "I don't know what you're talking about, Sir!" (Munching on a lobster tail...)

Da Shrimp: "Ay! ain't no body better try and take a bite outta da Lobster Mobster!!! Sic em Vinnie!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:30 am

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Navigator: "I don't know what you're talking about, Sir!" (Munching on a lobster tail...)

Da Shrimp: "Ay! ain't no body better try and take a bite outta da Lobster Mobster!!! Sic em Vinnie!"

(Vinnie finds itself in a boiling pot in the boat's galley...)

Vinnie: :badbad:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 1:24 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Navigator: "I don't know what you're talking about, Sir!" (Munching on a lobster tail...)

Da Shrimp: "Ay! ain't no body better try and take a bite outta da Lobster Mobster!!! Sic em Vinnie!"

(Vinnie finds itself in a boiling pot in the boat's galley...)

Vinnie:

Morgan: "Anyone want to explain how a crab gets a CADS sword, and all I've got is a rusted saber I looted from a Conquistador's grave?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 7:17 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Navigator: "I don't know what you're talking about, Sir!" (Munching on a lobster tail...)

Da Shrimp: "Ay! ain't no body better try and take a bite outta da Lobster Mobster!!! Sic em Vinnie!"

(Vinnie finds itself in a boiling pot in the boat's galley...)

Vinnie:

Morgan: "Anyone want to explain how a crab gets a CADS sword, and all I've got is a rusted saber I looted from a Conquistador's grave?"

"Bad choices in your youth, Captain?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 8:18 pm

"Neglecting filing proper requisition paperwork coming back to bite you in the ass?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Jan 02, 2017 8:54 pm

Preying Mantis Shrimp - A mutant species of Mantis Shrimp. The size of a boxcar, the Preying Mantis Shrimp attacks by punching it's target to pieces. Normally this wouldn't be that impressive except it's punches travel at hypersonic velocity, even though water. The 37[sup]th[/sup] has lost a dozen powered armours, three mecha and several submarines to attacks by this territorial carnivorous predator.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:02 pm

SRoss wrote:Preying Mantis Shrimp - A mutant species of Mantis Shrimp. The size of a boxcar, the Preying Mantis Shrimp attacks by punching it's target to pieces. Normally this wouldn't be that impressive except it's punches travel at hypersonic velocity, even though water. The 37[sup]th[/sup] has lost a dozen powered armours, three mecha and several submarines to attacks by this territorial carnivorous predator.

No, actually, ironically, it's everybody ELSE who's lost a dozen powered armours, three mecha and several submarines to attacks by this territorial carnivorous predator. They just don't believe the reports of the 37th, who have been the only ones to have actually encountered this monster, observed its attacks, and lived to tell of it.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 2:28 am

Zentreadi: "Those shrimp taste good with butter!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 1:08 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Zentreadi: "Those shrimp taste good with butter!"

Later...

Charon: "Let me get this strait, you were beaten to death by a shrimp?" :lol:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 3:36 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Zentreadi: "Those shrimp taste good with butter!"

Later...

Charon: "Let me get this strait, you were beaten to death by a shrimp?"

Zentreadi: "Shouldn't have tried to eat them raw..." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 7:05 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Zentreadi: "Those shrimp taste good with butter!"

Later...

Charon: "Let me get this strait, you were beaten to death by a shrimp?"

"Mutual Assured Diet---when you're both on the same tier of the food chain, and have no scruples about eating -sideways- on it."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:42 pm

"We keep telling them that just because they harvest the shallows of the sea doesn't mean they know everything that lives in it. We warned them that not all the fishing boats that don't come back fall victim to bad weather, bad maintenance, or Zentraedi Malcontents...but do they listen? Noooooooo,,,"
"You're just annoyed at missing the opportunity to have some new mutant species named after you, right?"
"Well, maybe..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:00 pm

"Coffee-flavored rum, sir?"
"No, rum-flavored coffee...I have an appearance to maintain, but I can't afford to be drunk ALL the time, arrrrrrrrrr."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:35 am

EBSIS Sailor: "We; on the other hand, are drunk all the time!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:08 pm

Arnie100 wrote:EBSIS Sailor: "We; on the other hand, are drunk all the time!"

Lt. Jones: "Is that a brilliant zig-zag pattern, or are they freaking ####-faced drunk up there?! It's so damn hard to get a decent torpedo plot laid on them!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:54 pm

"Captain! I think there's EBSIS ships in the area!"

Hydrophone

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 12:09 am

"De-prioritize the target. It's not the Navy. It's the Village People."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:46 am

Morgan: "Explain to me again how we were captured by the naval branch of the Young Pioneers!?!" :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:09 pm

SRoss wrote:Morgan: "Explain to me again how we were captured by the naval branch of the Young Pioneers!?!"

Jones: "Look at the bright side; if they make us walk the plank we're home-free."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Feb 07, 2017 3:58 pm

EBSIS Sailor: "Captured by a bunch of youngsters! BAHAHAHAHAHA!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:19 pm

Arnie100 wrote:EBSIS Sailor: "Captured by a bunch of youngsters! BAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Worse; they get rescued by Tr'Tahn and his traveling band of hedonistic mer-Zentraedi.
"HAHAHAHA!!! YOU OWE ME MUCH, CAPTAIN MORGAN!!!"
Morgan: "...and if yah only hold still long enough for me to get a bead on yah, I'd give you everything you deserve, yah scurvydog!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:39 am

The 37[sup]th[/sup]'s Lookout sees his first full sized Quadrono skinny dipper...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:44 pm

SRoss wrote:The 37[sup]th[/sup]'s Lookout sees his first full sized Quadrono skinny dipper...

Dr. Scoleiosis: "...I didn't think the Zentraedi made spearguns this big....I'm going to need a cutting torch for this."
Lookout:"...totally worth it..."
Dr. Scoleiosis: "The girl or the drugs?"
Lookout:"..both..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:01 pm

"-in the latest news, controversy still continues to boil around the latest allegations made by the new president of the UEG council that his staff's communications were being tapped by the GMP, despite the latter agency's denials of any such activity-"
"Mister Jones, while we're still attached to the deep cable, dial up the East Bloc connection and put in a request for another shipment of that high-class vodka, to be sent by ship, of course..aaaarrrrrrr.....tell'em the stress is nagging, the media circling like sharks, and we need some liquid relief our way and put it on our tab, ar-har-har!"
"At once, Captain!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 5:21 pm

EBSIS Supply Clerk: "I wonder how long before those foolish Deep Ones realize we replaced all the vodka on those ships with Wood Alcohol?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:20 pm

SRoss wrote:EBSIS Supply Clerk: "I wonder how long before those foolish Deep Ones realize we replaced all the vodka on those ships with Wood Alcohol?"

EBSIS Radar Operator: :shock:

"INCOMING CRUISE MISSILES!!! ETA, uhm...(stands up, drops pans, bends over, kisses own posterior)
EBSIS Depot Commander(to Supply Clerk) : "Not long at all, I'd say."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu May 04, 2017 11:04 pm

Captain Morgan: "Ok, how'd we run aground this time?"

Navigator: "Well, female Zentraedi were sunbathing, and we were busy fighting over the para scope."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu May 04, 2017 11:10 pm

SRoss wrote:Captain Morgan: "Ok, how'd we run aground this time?"

Navigator: "Well, female Zentraedi were sunbathing, and we were busy fighting over the para scope."

"We henceforth navigate by sonar!"
"Won't help, sir, HFS(*High Frequency Sonar) on a full-sized female Zentraedi? Like a very sexy ultrasound, and add in the 3D imaging software? Back to square one, distraction-wise."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu May 04, 2017 11:18 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:Captain Morgan: "Ok, how'd we run aground this time?"

Navigator: "Well, female Zentraedi were sunbathing, and we were busy fighting over the para scope."

"We henceforth navigate by sonar!"
"Won't help, sir, HFS(*High Frequency Sonar) on a full-sized female Zentraedi? Like a very sexy ultrasound, and add in the 3D imaging software? Back to square one, distraction-wise."

"I wonder if the navigator from the Gargoyle is available?" :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri May 05, 2017 10:27 am

SRoss wrote:[

"I wonder if the navigator from the Gargoyle is available?"

"We're registering WATER PRESSURE outside the hull!"
"Not again."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed May 10, 2017 4:42 pm

Morgan: (Confronting a group of EShemarians wearing very skimpy sexy armour) "Um, no, I don't know anyone named Shinji?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed May 10, 2017 9:57 pm

SRoss wrote:Morgan: (Confronting a group of EShemarians wearing very skimpy sexy armour) "Um, no, I don't know anyone named Shinji?"

"Now, would you please have your giant squid submarine release my ship?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue May 16, 2017 8:03 pm

"Bioluminescent wakes...that's how the orbital weapons platforms were targeting us on the surface at night. We were stirring up glow-in-the-dark zooplankton. Anything on the surface not showing a transponder signal, a definite civilian hull plan, or a random bloom pattern, got zapped. Mind you, whoever was taking potshots at us still went through a few other possibilities, and I hear that there were a couple dozen incidents of midnight yacht cruises and fishing expeditions getting zorched, but they apparently figured it was worth it to try potting us."
"Sooo..,how'ed you defeat it?"
"Inflatable fishing boat attached to our mast and stolen transponders....we're currently a UEG senator's 'love boat' to the IFF hailers."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue May 16, 2017 9:23 pm

taalismn wrote:"Bioluminescent wakes...that's how the orbital weapons platforms were targeting us on the surface at night. We were stirring up glow-in-the-dark zooplankton. Anything on the surface not showing a transponder signal, a definite civilian hull plan, or a random bloom pattern, got zapped. Mind you, whoever was taking potshots at us still went through a few other possibilities, and I hear that there were a couple dozen incidents of midnight yacht cruises and fishing expeditions getting zorched, but they apparently figured it was worth it to try potting us."
"Sooo..,how'ed you defeat it?"
"Inflatable fishing boat attached to our mast and stolen transponders....we're currently a UEG senator's 'love boat' to the IFF hailers."

At that moment Sue Graham parachuted aboard expecting to get the scoop of a lifetime.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue May 16, 2017 10:09 pm

SRoss wrote:[

At that moment Sue Graham parachuted aboard expecting to get the scoop of a lifetime.

<<"DIVE! DIVE!">>
"Wait-!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat May 27, 2017 10:32 pm

Morgan: "Raise to launch depth! We've received orders to launch a full missile strike! Target: Minmei!!!"

"From who sir!?!"

Morgan: "The Blooper Reels..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun May 28, 2017 2:08 pm

///SCCCCCCCCRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH///
Sonar Operator:(throwing headphones off in pained anger) "DAMN IT! I TOLD YOU GUYS NOT TO DRAG THE ANCHOR ACROSS THE INDUCTION PLAINS!!!!" :badbad:

"Hee-hee-hee."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun May 28, 2017 2:24 pm

SRoss wrote:Morgan: "Raise to launch depth! We've received orders to launch a full missile strike! Target: Minmei!!!"

"From who sir!?!"

Morgan: "The Blooper Reels..."

(Minmei lays atop her sniper's mat...watching her targets through the 8x scope mounted atop her .50 Cal Barrett M107 when she hears the sound of several large objects heading towards her at top speed...)

Minmei: (Looking up...) :shock:

"Nuts...just as I was about to kill Edwards and Kyle again..." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun May 28, 2017 9:07 pm

Arnie100 wrote:[

Minmei: (Looking up...) "Nuts...just as I was about to kill Edwards and Kyle again..."

"Well, there's always....what? Next post."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun May 28, 2017 11:35 pm

Morgan: (Pointing at the Bolo on the dock) "I don't care if he's volunteered for sub duty! He's not coming aboard!!!" :badbad:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun May 28, 2017 11:47 pm

SRoss wrote:Morgan: (Pointing at the Bolo on the dock) "I don't care if he's volunteered for sub duty! He's not coming aboard!!!"

Morgan: "Besides, he can't fit and he's not qualified for underwater service!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon May 29, 2017 9:21 pm

Bolos don't float; they run along the bottom and use their air defense weapons to blast ships out of the water above them....

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed May 31, 2017 12:33 am

Bolo: "I WANNA RIDE IN THE CONNING TOWER!"

Morgan: "YOU'RE BIGGER THEN THE SUB!!!" :badbad:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Jun 04, 2017 9:50 pm

Bolo: (Towed on a barge behind Typhus) <Full sized female Zentraedi nude sun bathers detected.>

Crew: "Yyyeeesssss!!!"

Bolo: <Firing hellbores...>

Crew: :eek:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:37 am

"Captain! I traded that Bolo to IceGuard! No more problems!"

Morgan: "Good work! Now then, why should those MCH #69 kids have all the fun lets go android hunting too!"

Crew: "Yay!"

Typhus encounters their first Android

"Oh Crud." :shock: