Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 6:56 pm

say652 wrote:A Stern faced man with a several times broken nose that was set badly everytime.
"Hi I'm Frank Castle and I'll be your teacher for defense against the dark arts....

"Doctor Strange was too smart to sub for Arnie, right?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:02 pm

SRoss wrote:
say652 wrote:A Stern faced man with a several times broken nose that was set badly everytime.
"Hi I'm Frank Castle and I'll be your teacher for defense against the dark arts....

"Doctor Strange was too smart to sub for Arnie, right?"

Frank Castle: "Knowledge through superior firepower."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:13 pm

"If you're unsure of the beings intention, Shoot! If startled, Shoot! If they break any laws unknowingly, Shoot!" Looking around the room looking eyes with every teacher in his vicinity "If they take your parking space......"

"Shoot!" The enthusiastic students yelled.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:40 pm

say652 wrote:"If you're unsure of the beings intention, Shoot! If startled, Shoot! If they break any laws unknowingly, Shoot!" Looking around the room looking eyes with every teacher in his vicinity "If they take your parking space......"

"Shoot!" The enthusiastic students yelled.

Frank Castle: "And if you run out of ammo for your favorite bang bang, these never run out of ammo!" (Pulls out an Arkansas Toothpick)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:49 pm

Later, in the Parking Lot...

Frank Castle's leg twitched as it stuck out of the wreckage of his car...

Annie: (Sticking her head out of the Commander's hatch of the tank on top of Castle's car) "Soooorrrrry! I still only have my learner's permit." :mrgreen:

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 8:20 pm

Draco Malfroy looking at the wreckage "He lasted longer than our last four Teachers. "

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 8:32 pm

Arnie100: "I'm so glad I'm on vacation..." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 24, 2016 8:35 pm

say652 wrote:Draco Malfroy looking at the wreckage "He lasted longer than our last four Teachers. "

"I'm sure that's the last time he ever yells at a student driver 'JUST STEP ON THE GAS, YOU LITTLE %&%&^&^&%@!!!!'"
"At least he got to 'backing up'."
"Actually that was 'put it in gear and ease it forward'."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Nov 25, 2016 9:56 pm

Charon: (Looking down at the hubcap sized figure before him) "What happened to you?"

Zor: "@#$%^&* Turkeys figured out how to pilot battle pods!!!" :badbad:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 1:12 pm

SRoss wrote:Charon: (Looking down at the hubcap sized figure before him) "What happened to you?"

Zor: "@#$%^&* Turkeys figured out how to pilot battle pods!!!"

"Their peck's not so bad, but they kick like hell..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 1:30 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:Charon: (Looking down at the hubcap sized figure before him) "What happened to you?"

Zor: "@#$%^&* Turkeys figured out how to pilot battle pods!!!"

"Their peck's not so bad, but they kick like hell..."

Steve Irwin: "Worse then Kangaroos, mate. Even I stay from turkeys."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 3:58 pm

Actually, my brother just spotted a flock of fifty wild turkey.....that's a serious concentration of beak and wattle.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 2:17 am

The Five Lion Robots form Voltron to stop the Fiddy Turkeys.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 5:24 pm

The Lion Force flee in absolute terror from the rampaging turkeys.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:44 pm

Arnie100 wrote:The Lion Force flee in absolute terror from the rampaging turkeys.

"Okay, who failed their Horror Factor save versus poultry?"

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 7:08 pm

The camera following the fleeing Giant Robot beset by turkeys.
Sitting in a diner wearing an eyepatch Hugh Jackman says "Fight my Animal Brothers, Bub."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 7:15 pm

Kyle: "Crap! They're coming this way!" :eek:

Edwards: "Quick! Climb the fence!"

ZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

"Good thing the school's barrier fence is rated for an Apatosaurus."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 7:23 pm

Charon: "Let me guess...you thought you could hide from them underwater?"
Kyle: "Honestly, how were we to know the cafeteria staff was testing a deepfrying TRENCH as a safety measure? It looked like a CANAL to me!"

Edwards: "...fire...in ground...bad......bad...fire..." :shock:

Kyle: "Yeah, we know you have issues with fire, Edwards."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:07 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:The Lion Force flee in absolute terror from the rampaging turkeys.

"Okay, who failed their Horror Factor save versus poultry?"

Keith: "Dammit, Lance!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:09 pm

taalismn wrote:Charon: "Let me guess...you thought you could hide from them underwater?"
Kyle: "Honestly, how were we to know the cafeteria staff was testing a deepfrying TRENCH as a safety measure? It looked like a CANAL to me!"
Edwards: "...fire...in ground...bad......bad...fire..."
Kyle: "Yeah, we know you have issues with fire, Edwards."

Chef: "We have to get rid of the oil, somehow, children."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 9:20 pm

Arnie100 wrote:[

Chef: "We have to get rid of the oil, somehow, children."

Inspector: "You have a biohazard license to dispose of that stuff?"
Chef: "What, you new here? This entire CAMPUS is where other people dump biohazardous waste! Like we NEED a license to dump on our own grounds?"

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 10:21 pm

Noticing several rotting hands breaking the surface of the Lawn and Football Green, Carl Grimes turned and walked inside. "I seent it with my own One" he said shaking his head.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:25 pm

say652 wrote:Noticing several rotting hands breaking the surface of the Lawn and Football Green, Carl Grimes turned and walked inside. "I seent it with my own One" he said shaking his head.

Meanwhile, at BSS Headquarters...

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:50 pm

SRoss wrote:
say652 wrote:Noticing several rotting hands breaking the surface of the Lawn and Football Green, Carl Grimes turned and walked inside. "I seent it with my own One" he said shaking his head.

Meanwhile, at BSS Headquarters...

BSS Seargent: "Kyle! Edwards! You've been volunteered!"
Kyle: "Oh, come ON!" :eek:

Edwards:

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 12:24 am

Zombie Frank Castle appears to be leading the Zombie horde, even two days in the ground the Warrior still managed to make it to his trunk.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:25 pm

say652 wrote:Zombie Frank Castle appears to be leading the Zombie horde, even two days in the ground the Warrior still managed to make it to his trunk.

Principal: "Break out the Lawnmower."
Vice-Principle: "What good is that going to do-?!"
Principle: "You didn't hear me; break out the Lawnmower."
(in a shed adjacent to the Gym, an ominous rumble grows-)
Custodian: "First and last of the Lang-Gummer John Deere collaborations. When Bert was old and didn't give a damned anymore about regulations, and Lang was young enough to try anything....like stiff that got rejected from the MAC projects for being too dangerous and expensive for mass production. Some call it the 'Ninja', others the 'Clear Cutter', still others call it 'Tunguska'...but everybody calls it The Lawnmower." :bandit:

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:57 pm

Zombie Frank fires at the school twin M60's yelling.
The horde moves in moaning looking for flesh.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:03 pm

say652 wrote:Zombie Frank fires at the school twin M60's yelling.
The horde moves in moaning looking for flesh.

They are served school meatloaf instead.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:14 am

taalismn wrote:
say652 wrote:Zombie Frank fires at the school twin M60's yelling.
The horde moves in moaning looking for flesh.

They are served school meatloaf instead.

(The zombie horde immediately retreat underground...)

Random MCHS Student #1: "This stuff IS useful!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "Well, dayum!" :shock:

Chef: "Multi-purpose meatloaf, children!"

(Down Below...)

Charon: :eek:

"Oh, H**L, no!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:17 am

taalismn wrote:
say652 wrote:Zombie Frank fires at the school twin M60's yelling.
The horde moves in moaning looking for flesh.

They are served school meatloaf instead.

"Uuhh!" *The food was better at IceGuard!*

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 5:44 pm

School meatloaf is arguably made OF zombies.
Invokes the zombie taboo against cannibalism... :twisted:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:15 pm

taalismn wrote:School meatloaf is arguably made OF zombies.
Invokes the zombie taboo against cannibalism...

Random MCHS Student #1: "It's people! They're making the meatloaf out of people!"
Random MCHS Student #2:"You've been watching Soylent Green again, haven't you?"

(In the kitchen...)

Chef: "Mustn't let the children see the recipes."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 8:01 pm

A lone Turkey wearing Star Spangled body armor, a shield on his back watches the display hidden from view.
"They must be stopped, it's not just us they Eat." He whispers solemnly

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 8:57 pm

say652 wrote:A lone Turkey wearing Star Spangled body armor, a shield on his back watches the display hidden from view.
"They must be stopped, it's not just us they Eat." He whispers solemnly

In the Cafeteria, the Cook lathers himself with lard in order to squeeze into the Iron Man Armor. "This is how it's to be bird!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:01 pm

say652 wrote:A lone Turkey wearing Star Spangled body armor, a shield on his back watches the display hidden from view.
"They must be stopped, it's not just us they Eat." He whispers solemnly

"Ben Franklin, your secret conspiracy to replace the eagle as the symbol of America has born fruit at last!"

"THIS IS ANOTHER ABUSE OF ANIMAL STEROIDS IN OUR FOOD SUPPLY!!!"

Red Skull: "Why do I have a sudden hankering for stuffing and sweet potatoes?" :demon:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Dec 02, 2016 2:51 pm

taalismn wrote:
say652 wrote:A lone Turkey wearing Star Spangled body armor, a shield on his back watches the display hidden from view.
"They must be stopped, it's not just us they Eat." He whispers solemnly

"Ben Franklin, your secret conspiracy to replace the eagle as the symbol of America has born fruit at last!"

"THIS IS ANOTHER ABUSE OF ANIMAL STEROIDS IN OUR FOOD SUPPLY!!!"

Red Skull: "Why do I have a sudden hankering for stuffing and sweet potatoes?"

Turkey:

{Gobble...gobble?!} (Translation: "Can we be...diplomatic about this?!")

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:44 pm

Arnie100 wrote:[

Turkey: {Gobble...gobble?!} (Translation: "Can we be...diplomatic about this?!")

Red Skull: "Yes. You can walk in front of our flamethrowers and I will accept your unconditional surrender."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:53 pm

An angry and furry lunch lady holding a spoon eyes Red Skull suspiciously, "Aren't you Red 5, the meatloaf flavoring....."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Dec 02, 2016 10:59 pm

Charon: "Say, aren't you the Pink Ooze, the meat supplement filler?"
Red Skull: "Oh, do shut up..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:38 am

Chef: "Gagkh is good for you, children!"
Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"So why is it moving?!"
Random MCHS Student #2: :puke:

guardiandashi · Sat Dec 03, 2016 3:29 am

Arnie100 wrote:Chef: "Gagkh is good for you, children!"
Random MCHS Student #1: "So why is it moving?!"
Random MCHS Student #2:

Klingon Chef "because its best if its FRESH! and NASTY if its not."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:06 am

Guest Chef Week at school, no?

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:55 am

Gordam Ramsey storms in the cafeteria "How do you expect any pudding if you don't eat your Meat!!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:21 pm

say652 wrote:Gordam Ramsey storms in the cafeteria "How do you expect any pudding if you don't eat your Meat!!"

A Wall promptly falls on him.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:32 pm

taalismn wrote:
say652 wrote:Gordam Ramsey storms in the cafeteria "How do you expect any pudding if you don't eat your Meat!!"

A Wall promptly falls on him.

Roger Waters: (Walks away whistling)

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:53 pm

"Today on Iron Chef Monument City High #69! The battle is between: Klingon Chef and Gordon Ramsay! The ingredient is...whatever you can think of!"
Chairman Kaga: (Picks apple...) "Begin!" (Takes bite out of apple...)

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:31 pm

Suddenly a 69 Charger crashes through the wall, a drunken Guy Fieri stumbles out wiping his red nose.
"You can't spell Iron Chef without an S, I."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:27 pm

(Guy Fieri finds a batleth embedded in his chest...)

Guy Fieri: "Well...that sucks..."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 6:24 pm

"I bleed pure hotsauce!" He yells triumphantly

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Dec 03, 2016 8:34 pm

say652 wrote:"I bleed pure hotsauce!" He yells triumphantly

"And that's part of the problem; poor oxygen-carrying capacity."