randomer item table

[taalismn]

89: T-Rex Head on a Plaque---Mounted T-Rex head on a wall plaque, ready to be hung up. Looks realistic, very realistic, almost alive. In fact, its eyes follow you, its nostrils dilate, and will even make a snapping lunge for you if you get too close, although its bite will only do 1/4th its normal damage(it lacks the full muscle strength of a complete body). Something a Gene Splicer thought would be neat.

[Zer0 Kay]

84. 24 cs troops. 7 Enforcer Robots. 10 SAMAS Power Armor. Rmb. Old style. No conversation. Seek and Destroy mission.

Dude... too serious.

[say652]

90. The Dude. An aging stoner stumbles acroos the road. Stops waves says Dude. Thumbs up and wanders away.

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

89: T-Rex Head on a Plaque---Mounted T-Rex head on a wall plaque, ready to be hung up. Looks realistic, very realistic, almost alive. In fact, its eyes follow you, its nostrils dilate, and will even make a snapping lunge for you if you get too close, although its bite will only do 1/4th its normal damage(it lacks the full muscle strength of a complete body). Something a Gene Splicer thought would be neat.

omfg i want one!

[taalismn]

91: Children's Slide---A perfectly innocent-looking children's slide set. Anybody climbing the ladder, though, is in for a surprise. Though they may appear to everybody else to be a mere 6 ft off the ground at the top, from their perspective, they'll think they've somehow climbed about a thousand feet up! And if they actually get on the slide...by the time they hit the bottom, they'll be going in excess of 75 MPH! Likewise, jumping off the ladder, they will hit the ground with the same velocity as if they'd jumped off a cliff several hundred feet tall!

[dante144]

92: 30 mdc tactical kilt. Can be worn over clothes.

93: Bottle of vodka, Kalua, cream(preserved) and an empty ice tray.

94: Folding bicycle: mountain type, multi-gear. comes with neoprene case.

95: Laser sword - 5d6 MD, 40%chance of catching flammable objects on fire.

96: Large eggs with ridges. Dragon egg. 30% abandoned, 31-60% orphaned, 61-100% momma is looking for the egg and will be likely filled with ire towards anyone with it.

97: gas mask - 2 filters, new and sealed in box.

98: holographic weapon site. +2 for close to mid ranged targets. Unless the weapon has a rail it must be installed but competent weapon's armorer or equivalent technician.

99: Beretta .22 with silencer. 144 rounds 2d6 SDC

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

100. A series of sequentially numbered cards each listing a different, unrelated (seemingly random) item. The cards bear only the items name and the minimum of relevant data in regards to the item named. No history, description, or interesting information about the item is given. They are more of a place holder/marker. There is no monetary, historical, or magical value to the cards.


Example: card 100a

Pine cone, Douglas fir
4" l x 7" w

[say652]

1. A reacher from the deep. Rifts Underseas.

[drewkitty ~..~]

1. A reacher from the deep. Rifts Underseas.

Coming out of a lave?

02: Spectacles of Deflection, causes the anger of others to be focused on someone other then the wearer.
The people around the wearer can try to save vs the effects vs 18, ME Psi bonuses are applicable.

[say652]

3. A new pair of work boots. Size twelve. Made of light mdc materials. 15-mdc.

[Zer0 Kay]

91: Children's Slide---A perfectly innocent-looking children's slide set. Anybody climbing the ladder, though, is in for a surprise. Though they may appear to everybody else to be a mere 6 ft off the ground at the top, from their perspective, they'll think they've somehow climbed about a thousand feet up! And if they actually get on the slide...by the time they hit the bottom, they'll be going in excess of 75 MPH! Likewise, jumping off the ladder, they will hit the ground with the same velocity as if they'd jumped off a cliff several hundred feet tall!

Um... Its bigger on the inslide

[Zer0 Kay]

3. A new pair of work boots. Size twelve. Made of light mdc materials. 15-mdc.

15mdc for boots? Crap I want me some full armor made of that stuff.

[say652]

Branaghan boots. new west.

[dante144]

3. A new pair of work boots. Size twelve. Made of light mdc materials. 15-mdc.

15mdc for boots? Crap I want me some full armor made of that stuff.

I want the MDC boots with the MDC kilt!

[Zer0 Kay]

3. A new pair of work boots. Size twelve. Made of light mdc materials. 15-mdc.

15mdc for boots? Crap I want me some full armor made of that stuff.

I want the MDC boots with the MDC kilt!

Do you want that pouch wit the fir trim too? And the berret like hat with the fuzzy ball and finally (I'm gonna get thwaked by old timers here) a set of bag pipes that do mega damage, not because they're magic, but because they're a development from the Scotland division of (here it comes) Lancer's Rockers!

Why yes mods I am flamebaiting, but it's a good kind of flaimbaiting. Huh? Oh, because I only expect friendly ribbing not full on flame throwers. What do you mean then I'm just friendly banned for a week? Thats not very... oh, your being sarcastic.

[say652]

Can I get my kilt shorter in pink. O wait I got something that might work. 4 inch stilletto on the boots and a corset. Hold the bag pipes.

[taalismn]

04. Predatory Waffle Iron----Moves at Spd. 10, has 10 SDC(A.R. 10) and has three attacks per melee. It wants to hook into your electrical system, but it will just as happily give you a hot snap-bite(1d4 SDC, but the hot iron hurts like a bastard!).

[say652]

some one is very witty. Lol

Hold the bag pipes.

Always the best choice.

[say652]

05. A sturdy table three chairs. And four full bowls of cereal. No spoons or milk. :/

[Zer0 Kay]

6- Cereal the really sugarry stuff with milk and a spoon... but no bowl... it looks like it's in a bowl but there's nothing there. Oh when you try it the mil is spoiled too.

[say652]

A devestated house. A large porch two old men in rocking chairs going "yup".

[say652]

If its a magnum I need three.

[CyCo]

#8

A cube (oh no, not cubes again!!). This one is about 12mm (suck it up and look it up ;p ) and has numbers on every face. Yep, it's d6. But, when you count the faces/numbers, they go up to 7....? But when you look at it, you swear it's a cube....Oh noes!! It's a non-euclidean cube!! Make a save vs insanity and lose.... d7 san points. 8p

[taalismn]

07. Intergalactic Prophylactic - A 5000 MDC condom that simply cannot be broken by anything short of a full-battery blast from a battleship or dreadnaught class vessel. Yet, it is only 0.00005 milimeters thick and provides full sensation during copulatory engagements. Also, when worn, gives the user the following benefits: +50% to Seduction, +37% to Drilling, +10% to Sexual Navigation. (Take that as you will.)

Custom-make for Zeus?
Brings new meaning to the phrase 'OLYMPIC proportions'.

[taalismn]

#8

A cube (oh no, not cubes again!!). This one is about 12mm (suck it up and look it up ;p ) and has numbers on every face. Yep, it's d6. But, when you count the faces/numbers, they go up to 7....? But when you look at it, you swear it's a cube....Oh noes!! It's a non-euclidean cube!! Make a save vs insanity and lose.... d7 san points. 8p

Tabletop Tuesdays in Ry'leh?

[CyCo]

Well, Cthulhu and the other elder gods must be gamers, after all, being locked away in the corners of the universe must be awfully dull. And they have plenty of time to play games. lol

[taalismn]

09. Mummified Dog----Actually quite friendly and not slobbery(more like sandpaper-dry). Has a collar on it inscribed "If found, return to Necromancer Bob" followed by an address only readable with an Eyes of Thoth spell. Necromancer Bob's a right nasty piece of work, but if you return his dog to him he'll actually be nice to the PCs(like not turning any of them into zombies) and might even be predisposed to doing them a favor.

[say652]

10: a Large coppper pot. Several swirly pipes and an open. Flame boiling some corn and sugar mixture.
The oldtimer CottonCandy Jenkins. Offers the pc's a sip of the shine. Roll vs non lethal poisons -6 and intoxication lasts until the character sleeps.

[taalismn]

11. Wanted Poster---A wanted poster, offering a substantial reward for the captured person, or critical parts thereof, one of the PCs in the party. The poster identifies as the issuer a town/community the PCs(and the wanted PC in particular) has NEVER been in or gone near.
30% chance of the published date of the printing of the poster being exactly one YEAR from the current day. Yep, time for temporal mind####ery.

[say652]

12: Paternity Suit.
A small village thirty people May be. Upon entering the local Hotel. A young woman Physical Beauty:25 goes up to the male pc with the lowest pb. Yup its his. Dang moonshine.

[Zer0 Kay]

Is that pb a negative 25?

[say652]

Post edited

[taalismn]

Is that pb a negative 25?

It's part of the insult to injury; the guy who's NEVER been able to attract women, and he CAN'T remember ever having sex with this GODDESS (aka 'Titania Syndrome'), but he's going to pay child support until the heat death of the universe.

[taalismn]

14. Boeing 747---Fully functional and fueled up Boeing 747 jet airliner. Problem is, it's only six inches long, and anybody riding it would have to be the size of a deer tick.

[Zer0 Kay]

13. Small Flightless Bird - This 5 SDC bird does nothing but sit on the ground and silently stare at the PC. It has no other function whatsoever. After 4 hours of being starred at, PC must save vs HF 18 or suddenly jump up and run away, screaming with a fright that cannot be named. If this happens, the Small Flightless Bird will then go in search of another PC to stare at. It can be easily killed with a rock, however.

but only a rock... Dang that thing has better limited invulnerability than a vampire!

[Zer0 Kay]

Is that pb a negative 25?

It's part of the insult to injury; the guy who's NEVER been able to attract women, and he CAN'T remember ever having sex with this GODDESS (aka 'Titania Syndrome'), but he's going to pay child support until the heat death of the universe.

yeah I got it I was commenting on how you used a '-' before the 25 instead of a colon so it doesn't get mistaken as a negative

[dante144]

15. A bag. The large kind you get at a convention. It is cloth and seems to be 2.5 x 3 feet on both faces and 3 inches wide. The mouth has shoulder strap from one narrow end to the other. The bag has 30 MDC. Can be repaired by magical means. Should the MDC be expended bad things happen. The bag is a portal to a pocket universe. You can store whatever you can fit in the bag. Once a day or 1d4 days it can be stretched large enough to allow a vehicle in. If the MDC is depleted you will lose all belongings stored within. 1-25%There will be a 4d6x100 mega damage explosion 100 foot radius. 26-50% Everyone in a 10 foot radius will be sucked into a a pocket universe. If not rescued within 30 minutes the portal will close and you will be permanently trapped. 51-75% There is a bright flash and a loud noise and you have lost your belongings. 76-100% A greater demon appears(GMs choice) very angry at anyone near by.

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

- Cowbell without the dinger inside.

It's good for what ails you!

[taalismn]

17: Thumb Tack---It's about 15 ft in diameter, 9 ft long, and weighs about seven tons.

[taalismn]

19. Electrical Switch---Not connected to anything, but if flipped, a random member of the party experiences 1d4 seconds of utter and completely mindblowing bliss(depending on the disposition of the person, this can be akin to a drug high, an intense spiritual experience, or a really intense orgasm).

[taalismn]

21. Sixpack of Whupass----Opening a can in this sixpack will instantly reduce the person to 1 Hit Point/SDC/MDC, all without breaking the skin(recover/repair the damage as normal) and leaves the victim feeling as if they've just been whaled on by a very angry god of beatdowns.

[taalismn]

23: Big Knockers---A set of large brass door knockers, fairly stylistic, worth about 25 credits for the brass, 45 credits to a collector of the particular style. If fastened to any door of Nightfactory's, using them will result in the door being blasted in, with 1d4 SDC backpressure damage to the person doing the knocking. That's getting off light; the doorbell had a claymore directional mine wired to it, and the bell cord would have dropped giant leeches on the poor sod. Wear protection always.

[Zer0 Kay]

22. Snuff of Snuffing - This snuff, when thrown into the air, will snuff out any snuffable light source for 1D10 melee rounds within a 10' radius including torches, lanterns, LED lights, flourescent and incandescent lights, lasers, glowsticks, Zero Kay's toupee, bioluminescent lights, and even spells such as Globe of Daylight and Lantern Light. 2 pinches per box.

that was great, thanks. Now I'll just have to get one, though I'll probably never need it, for the time I meet you at a POH.

[Zer0 Kay]

24- Baby rattle of cuteness. Anyone picking up this item can't discard it and as long as they're holding it those around them have to roll vs. An awwwww factor of 16.
On a failed roll:
Women will develop an intense maternal instinct to the person. Roll vs. Magic or try to nurse the holder.
Men roll vs. Magic or try to give the holder a piggy back ride.

[taalismn]

25. Thumb Drive---A small high-capacity flash drive. Inserting it into a computer to read its contents, however, infects the hardware with a low-IQ AI troll program that scrambles your readouts like a keyboarder who doesn't believe in a spellchecker, proper syntax, complete sentences, proper use of capital letters, or punctuation. It will also make inane statements that make no sense whatsoever("why Yu haTe disney?" "like see moar DRaguns!" , etc...). If the computer has an verbal interface, the AI will chatter nonstop about nothing in general, and nothing in particular. Removing the troll virus will require several hours of Computer Programming work, but there's a 25% chance that it will only lie dormant for 1d6 days before popping up again, requiring another hours-long session of wipe and reboot.

[taalismn]

26. Shatner's Cursed Phaser - This MDC phaser pistol does 5D6 MD to any target it is fired against, range 500', and has an effectively unlimited payload. Unfortunately, with each pull of the the trigger, there is a +10% cumulative chance that the person firing it will begin to talk exactly like William Shatner. Should the an individual be afflicted with this curse, they suffer the following penalties: -50% to Be Taken Seriously, -25% to Bang A Showgirl, -5 to Save vs. Infomercials, and will be afflicted with Male Patern Baldness. On the plus side, neither Chantico nor his followers will ever attack the PC. Throwing away the weapon has no effect and Remove Curse is also ineffective. The only way to rid oneself of the Curse is to seek out the City At The Edge of Forever and sacrifice a uncircumsized male wombat to The Shatner at midnight during a solar eclipse.

...or buy several million credits worth of junk from PriceLine.

[taalismn]

27. Little Bunny Slap Slap - This object appears to be little more than an SDC children's toy, a cute bunny rabbit. However, once per hour, it will say in a cute voice, "Fluff the bunny!" If the possessor pets it, nothing will happen. If they do not, though, it will animate and slap them with a supernatural PS of 250, doing 6D6x10 MD damage. Those who are not killed outright will be knocked through the air for 1D4x1000 miles, suffering an additional 1D6x10 MD damage upon hitting the ground, and with a healthy new respect for cute fluffy animals. Floopers are immune to this attack.

Hence the working rule of one of the adventuring parties I was once on; "It's cute. It's fuzzy. Kill it."

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

27. Little Bunny Slap Slap - This object appears to be little more than an SDC children's toy, a cute bunny rabbit. However, once per hour, it will say in a cute voice, "Fluff the bunny!" If the possessor pets it, nothing will happen. If they do not, though, it will animate and slap them with a supernatural PS of 250, doing 6D6x10 MD damage. Those who are not killed outright will be knocked through the air for 1D4x1000 miles, suffering an additional 1D6x10 MD damage upon hitting the ground, and with a healthy new respect for cute fluffy animals. Floopers are immune to this attack.

Put the bunny back in the box

[taalismn]

28. Jar of Ghost Peppers---One quart jar of ghost peppers. Anybody with a P.E. of less than 16 taking a bite of these mean-hot beauties must roll versus non-lethal poison or be incapacitated(-1d4 to initiative, dodge, strike, and parry) for 1d4 melees as their taste buds scream for mercy, their sinuses flare, and their eyes water. There are about 50 peppers in the jar, worth about 50 credits for the whole jar(more to a spicy foods enthusiast or dietary masochist).

[taalismn]

28. Jar of Ghost Peppers---One quart jar of ghost peppers. Anybody with a P.E. of less than 16 taking a bite of these mean-hot beauties must roll versus non-lethal poison or be incapacitated(-1d4 to initiative, dodge, strike, and parry) for 1d4 melees as their taste buds scream for mercy, their sinuses flare, and their eyes water. There are about 50 peppers in the jar, worth about 50 credits for the whole jar(more to a spicy foods enthusiast or dietary masochist).

"Dietary masochist".

Not all masochists wear leather collars or gimp suits. Some drink straight tabasco.