randomer item table

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:02 pm

61- Tarn Map... Yup a map or rather giant Atlas detailing where Tarn has been. If returned to her and the PCs wait for her to review the Atlas she will comment on how she hasn't been to some of the places... But the most recent location is one she was just considering not 30 minutes ago.

If the group likes Tarn it ends on a final note from her, in even older age than she is, commenting on having to leave her exploration days behind her and entrust the future to her student (suitable fan boy/girl in player group's name here).

If the group doesn't like Tarn her gruesome ending is described by one of her traveling companions.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:58 pm

62- Amazin' hunters... Well not really, because they're just that good. GM start having the party start rolling perception checks "too frequently". Make lots of off hand comments and odd reactions like:
"Okay"
"Never mind"
Smile like you have something up your sleeve
Smile with your mouth covered.
Dismiss the rolls as nothing to worry about
Start rolling behind a shield or your hand
Let out a little laugh and then snap your hand over your mouth like you didn't mean to do that.
When the players start yelling at you because "something is going on" or "your up to something" look shocked like they caught you and act like a person who knows they're caught but is trying to dismiss the charge.
Have a piece of paper you keep in your pocket and occasionally take out, unfold and look at when "you think no one is looking."
If you have a player you can trust with a gag, start passing "notes" back and forth and looking at each other "knowingly".

After the party starts getting paranoid start to use one of their "perception rolls" each time the group rolls for the following table, feel free to come up with more and post them... Maybe we should start a new thread for that.
-It's too quiet
-You know that feeling you get when someone's staring at you...
-What's that? Nevermind it's just the wind.
-Did you see that? (have an NPC spend the next several minutes pointing to an area and swearing they saw something)
-You hear a loud snap come from behind you. The PCs may figure out that one of them made stepped on a stick, but didn't notice because of their mdc armor.
-Suddenly all the animal noises go quiet!! A couple minutes later someone comments its probably because they're making so much noise.
-As the party just starts to sit down for a break, someone sees a canned drink sitting nearby, without an owner. If someone grabs it they will feel the sweat in the can and that its still a little cold and half empty, they must still be nearby. After a few minutes on high alert Have an NPC from the group come back zipping their pants group and then start yelling that someone moved their drink and yelling LOUDLY yelling at someone probably drank it too.

After the party has been suitably tortured and made paranoid, as they walk on, the entire group is snatched up into snares... Even giant robots and tanks, EVERYTHING... and each snare is perfect for each person in it. A fairy is ensnared as they flew too near a small branch. Even Vampires can't mist out. These are inescapable. After the hopelessness is described to them, people seem to form from nothing, come over and cut the characters sown by hold them up by the snare line. Photographs are taken, there is laughter and congratulatory gestures. After all the pictures the characters are held on the ground face down and then there is nothing.
Have this happen to the characters a few days in a row and then whenever they get upitty, just the last emasculating part not the paranoia part.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 1:18 pm

63. Centaurs.
A large herd of 6D6 centaurs. Carrying mismatched splugorthian weapons and piecemeal armor. Wide eyed and crazy. They have obviously escaped from a slave barge.

The Ruiner · Unread post by **The Ruiner** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 8:29 pm

64. Cyber-Horsemen.
A large herd of 6D6 Cyber-Horsemen. They are carrying hocky sticks, Maple syrup and Putine(sp?). Friendly and helpfull. They have obviously escaped from Canada.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 8:55 pm

65: Giant Rolling Pin---A giant rolling pin comes careening down the path at the PCs. Those who fail the dodge get run over for 4d6 MD of damage(HALF that if the ground is soft enough to simply squash them into the soil. The rolling pin itself is some 75 ft long(plus another 25 ft for the handles) by 25 ft in diameter, weighs some 50 tons, and has 400 MDC. It moves at roughly 60 MPH and in a straight line, Once past the PCs it will keep rolling into the wilderness for some 3d6x10 yards before it is knocked off straight by the lay of the land and rolls out of sight, where upon it disappears.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:05 pm

66. A sleeping Giant. A greater norse giant. 24000mdc bio-regenerates 1D4×100mdc per minute.
All attempts to wake him fail. Any damage dealt is almost instantly healed. After one minute of attack if attacked he simply fades into nothingness.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:07 pm

67. A Baker Norse Giant... Looking for his rolling pin roll dodge or be stepped on. 99% chance you end up in the tread on his sandal like those ants you try to smash but keep missing because of your extra grippy sneakers... Darn sneakers... Wait no, good giant sneakers.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:03 pm

68. Rhino buffalo mating season.
Six large males battling it out twenty females waiting for the winner to emerge. The females turn and flee unless cornered. The males fight to the death anything that draws their attention, then resume combat amongst themselves for the right to mate.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:15 pm

69. A spork, yup a spoon fork combo, but instead of being a spoon with prongs this has a spoon on one end and a fork on the other.

70. A spork, another spoon fork combo, but instead of a pronged spoon this is an shoveled fork... Fork with a curved tip or a spoon that had slats cut out of it. Either way, mostly useless.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:50 pm

71: Promethean Army Knife---Bigger on the inside than on the outside; besides the standard blade, spork, nail cutters, comb,compass, fish-scaler, scizzors, and file, it can also extend a table saw, power lathe, overhead drill press, spot-welder, metal stamper, steel roller, triphammer, and and metal grinder/polisher. And apparently a nuclear powerplant somewhere in there, too, because the big equipment doesn't seem to be wanting for power.

drewkitty ~..~ · Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:52 pm

72: "Amazin' Hunters" TV show Film Crew & Host.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jul 15, 2014 8:18 pm

73. Tattered Newspaper----The date reads December of 2008, and the faded headline reads "Palin Beats Obama!". Little else remains legible of the paper.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:34 am

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:72: "Amazin' Hunters" TV show Film Crew & Host.

damn you.... I'm caughing out my lungs laughing and comll isn't a known acronym! So essentially you find the crew making some other group paranoid? Lol hopefully they don't start doing like the crock hunter "Look at this beauty! Wonder what it'll do when I stick my thumb in its anus. Crikey doesn't look like he likes that much. Look at him trying ta get a bite out a me."

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:36 am

taalismn wrote:73. Tattered Newspaper----The date reads December of 2008, and the faded headline reads "Palin Beats Obama!". Little else remains legible of the paper.

can't tell if it means wins polls or pummles?

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:28 am

75) a oldman on an mdc riding lawnmower leveling rocks small trees and perfectly cut grass. He ignores the characters gives a wave and continues leveling the areas around the large trees.

drewkitty ~..~ · Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:29 pm

Zer0 Kay wrote:
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:72: "Amazin' Hunters" TV show Film Crew & Host.

damn you.... I'm coughing out my lungs laughing and comll isn't a known acronym! So essentially you find the crew making some other group paranoid? Lol hopefully they don't start doing like the crock hunter "Look at this beauty! Wonder what it'll do when I stick my thumb in its anus. Crikey doesn't look like he likes that much. Look at him trying ta get a bite out a me."

My thoughts were that they would be making a pain of themselves following the group around, narrating at times when sneaking up on or hiding from something. But you idea that they are actively "stalking" another group is good idea also.

Or you could combine both and have the annoying film crew while their partner group stalks the group.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:17 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:72: "Amazin' Hunters" TV show Film Crew & Host.

damn you.... I'm coughing out my lungs laughing and comll isn't a known acronym! So essentially you find the crew making some other group paranoid? Lol hopefully they don't start doing like the crock hunter "Look at this beauty! Wonder what it'll do when I stick my thumb in its anus. Crikey doesn't look like he likes that much. Look at him trying ta get a bite out a me."

My thoughts were that they would be making a pain of themselves following the group around, narrating at times when sneaking up on or hiding from something. But you idea that they are actively "stalking" another group is good idea also.

Or you could combine both and have the annoying film crew while their partner group stalks the group.

Any way its done = funny

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:23 pm

76. Old wizard riding something you can't see. Whatever it is is leveling rocks small trees and leaving perfectly cut golf course fairway grass, even where there was no grass. He ignores the characters gives a wave and continues leveling the areas around the large trees.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 7:28 pm

Because we missed .74.

74. Silver Plate---A tarnished commemorative silver plate engraved with the names of several pre-Rifts state politicians, in honor of some great personage visiting their state. To a collector of pre-Rifts history, it would be worth 3d6x100 credits. To a vampire hunter or mercenary wanting silver for anti-supernatural weaponry, it would be worth 1d4x1,000 credits for its metal.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 12:49 pm

77. Cow... standing still as you approach it, it motionlessly moos. It continues to moo but only when you move. On further inspection, it is made of plastic and a motion sensor must trigger the moo. While inspecting the body passing an object under the udders causes the udders to eject liquid. It's fairly thick, you just hope its supposed to have the consistency of yogurt... but it smells disgusting. :puke:

Roll vs. psionics +3 a failed roll means that every time you hear moo you become nauseous vomiting 50% of the time.

Moo :puke:

Moo ugh

Moo ehh

Moo

well at least it doesn't make me...
Moo :puke:

Moo

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:42 pm

78. In-ground Water Sprinkler System---Pre-Rifts system with computer control, designed to draw upon local watershed, powered by solar power(solar cells hidden in local trees) and was last set in 'intruder detection mode', but has been acting quirky due to system deterioration over the centuries. The PCs will be well within the field when the sprinklers pop up and thoroughly soak them.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 3:16 pm

79. Keys... They're yours.
80. Keys... They're yours.
81. Keys... They're yours.
82. A hole in your pocket, now you know why you lose your keys.

drewkitty ~..~ · Thu Jul 24, 2014 3:43 pm

83: A flying saucer,
The ship is a flat disc with running lights around the rim with a ramp that folds down from the underside to be able to load/unload both cargo and passengers. The hull is painted with a smart paint that can change it colors and patterns down to a 1mm x1mm pixel. Unlike where many cultures build ship, the control deck near the center of the ship.

Tons; 50
SDC: 1250
AG Drives: Atmo.: Mach 10, SF: 20

Consolidated Bonuses
Plasma heat weapons only do Half Damage
Ion & Particle weapons only do Half Damage
Incoming mini-, Short Range-, & Med. Range Missiles have a 30% chance of Premature Detonation. roll for each volley.
+3 Dodge
+2 Strike w/weapons
+1 Strike w/ laser turrets
+10% piloting rolls when docking

Features
Med. Laser (opposite vehicle/cargo ramp) range: 13 miles space/1.3 miles atmo., 4d6x10 SD
Light Laser in Retractible Concealed turrets (2) One on top & other on bottom. range: (s)6 mi./atmo. 0.6 mi., 1d6x10+6 SD
Trans-Atmo. Capability
Basic Sensors Upgrade
Auto-pilot (90%)
Standard Crew Quarters double wide (room w/attached bath) "Captain's quarters"
Standard Crew Quarters (3)
Normal FF 285 SDC
Tracking Radar & Combat Comp. (+2 strike, +1 dodge
Atmosphere Recycling System
Sleep Stasis beds (4)
Vehicle Storage Bay (internal) rated 10 tons.(for hover ATV, cost pro-rated from the fighter bay costs, 75,000 cr.)
Magnetic Shield
Grapple 100 ton rated
Normal FF Rated at 649 SDC
Auto. Hull Sealing Systems
Motion, Perimeter, & Collision Warning System full
4 modules/tons of cargo space w/10 cases of mili'spec meal packets: 20 count each.

glitterboy2098 · Thu Jul 24, 2014 4:23 pm

84: a flying saucer. no, not that kind. a simple china saucer, basically a tiny plate about 3-4 inches across, white with floral design on the edges. within this pattern, in gold leaf, are the words "Whoever sitteth on this saucer and willeth in thought to be taken up and set down upon other site will, in the twinkling of an eye, be borne thither, be that place nearhand or distant many a day's journey and difficult to reach." in very tiny lettering. (note: users will not shrink to fit, and large individuals trying to sit on it will most likely break the fragile saucer.)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 4:25 pm

85: Redundancy Hound---Like a HellHound or DemonHound stat-wise, but it's a much nicer-dispositioned slob and effectively unstoppable as a literary device. It smells useless redundancies and homes in on them, devouring the redundancy, opening the energy and space in space/time for other things to grow there, after which it will belch, wag its tail, and then run off to seek more wasteful redundancy to devour.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 4:46 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:83: A flying saucer,
The ship is a flat disc with running lights around the rim with a ramp that folds down from the underside to be able to load/unload both cargo and passengers. The hull is painted with a smart paint that can change it colors and patterns down to a 1mm x1mm pixel. Unlike where many cultures build ship, the control deck near the center of the ship.

Tons; 50
SDC: 1250
AG Drives: Atmo.: Mach 10, SF: 20

Consolidated Bonuses
Plasma heat weapons only do Half Damage
Ion & Particle weapons only do Half Damage
Incoming mini-, Short Range-, & Med. Range Missiles have a 30% chance of Premature Detonation. roll for each volley.
+3 Dodge
+2 Strike w/weapons
+1 Strike w/ laser turrets
+10% piloting rolls when docking

Features
Med. Laser (opposite vehicle/cargo ramp) range: 13 miles space/1.3 miles atmo., 4d6x10 SD
Light Laser in Retractible Concealed turrets (2) One on top & other on bottom. range: (s)6 mi./atmo. 0.6 mi., 1d6x10+6 SD
Trans-Atmo. Capability
Basic Sensors Upgrade
Auto-pilot (90%)
Standard Crew Quarters double wide (room w/attached bath) "Captain's quarters"
Standard Crew Quarters (3)
Normal FF 285 SDC
Tracking Radar & Combat Comp. (+2 strike, +1 dodge
Atmosphere Recycling System
Sleep Stasis beds (4)
Vehicle Storage Bay (internal) rated 10 tons.(for hover ATV, cost pro-rated from the fighter bay costs, 75,000 cr.)
Magnetic Shield
Grapple 100 ton rated
Normal FF Rated at 649 SDC
Auto. Hull Sealing Systems
Motion, Perimeter, & Collision Warning System full
4 modules/tons of cargo space w/10 cases of mili'spec meal packets: 20 count each.

Awesome... Too useful

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 4:47 pm

glitterboy2098 wrote:84: a flying saucer. no, not that kind. a simple china saucer, basically a tiny plate about 3-4 inches across, white with floral design on the edges. within this pattern, in gold leaf, are the words "Whoever sitteth on this saucer and willeth in thought to be taken up and set down upon other site will, in the twinkling of an eye, be borne thither, be that place nearhand or distant many a day's journey and difficult to reach." in very tiny lettering. (note: users will not shrink to fit, and large individuals trying to sit on it will most likely break the fragile saucer.)

Lol perfect amount of useful and useless.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 4:48 pm

taalismn wrote:85: Redundancy Hound---Like a HellHound or DemonHound stat-wise, but it's a much nicer-dispositioned slob and effectively unstoppable as a literary device. It smells useless redundancies and homes in on them, devouring the redundancy, opening the energy and space in space/time for other things to grow there, after which it will belch, wag its tail, and then run off to seek more wasteful redundancy to devour.

What?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 6:11 pm

Zer0 Kay wrote:[

What?

Don't worry about it. The metaphysics would make your head explode.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 6:40 pm

taalismn wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:[

What?

Don't worry about it. The metaphysics would make your head explode.

Naw, I thought you were referring to my redundant post, that really isn't redundant but is now just the most common event to happen in the random item generator. Now you are as likely to find Jesus as loose your keys but more like to find your keys as find Jesus in the way to a Vegas show.

drewkitty ~..~ · Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:24 pm

86: A phone with Carl Castle's voice answering it's voice mailbax.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:32 pm

87: Discarded Fast Food Franchise Napkins---About a dozen soiled napkins and about a half-dozen fresh ones, plus several empty fast food boxes and containers, all bearing the franchise icon of a pre-Rifts fast food franchise. Thing is, these things look like they couldn't have been dropped more than a couple of days ago...

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 3:05 am

taalismn wrote:87: Discarded Fast Food Franchise Napkins---About a dozen soiled napkins and about a half-dozen fresh ones, plus several empty fast food boxes and containers, all bearing the franchise icon of a pre-Rifts fast food franchise. Thing is, these things look like they couldn't have been dropped more than a couple of days ago...

Ah, the old random rift in a trashcan theory.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 2:26 pm

88. You find a APFSDS kinetic penetrator lodged in you entering your right shoulder on the rear and exiting just under your left rib in the front. There is no blood and you can push it back and forth painlessly. It can only go as far forward as the fins. As you push it out the other way something clatters on the ground and emits sparks. If you were using a finger on the pointy end it stops at your skin. The other end can now be moved about in a wide range, as if the point where it is touching your skin is a pivot point. If you finish pulling out the KP as soon as the point leaves contact with your skin something clatter on the ground and emits sparks. There is nothing wrong with you or the KP... well except that you may be confused on whyaKPwouldbeinyouorhowitwasinyouorwhyyouweren'thurtorwhereitcamefromor... but the KP is just fine and has no issues though it may be wondering why your holding it and staring at it like that... creeper much? Or you may just be transferring human thought onto a non-human object.

Damn Promethian practical jokers, for when the fake arrow through the head, head band won't work...

drewkitty ~..~ · Tue Jul 29, 2014 4:30 pm

*groans*

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 6:27 pm

That reminds me of the Japanese game show that apparently had as its objective giving its contestants heart attacks...such as bursting into the schmoe's studio-paid hotel room early in the morning with a mob of guys in black firing automatic-fire cap guns.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:14 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:*groans*

yeah, it's made only slightly funnier because of their stoic outer appearance.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 1:55 pm

89. A thread necromancer... A person in dark robes is surrounded by many pieces of string which seem to be poorly animated. The strings are pulling themselves free from worn out clothing. You don't know how you can tell but all the string seem for turn and look at you. [if the PC is wearing new or at least good condition clothes] the strings charge you and rip of your clothes. [if the PC is wearing old clothes] the strings loose interest and continue to sample about the thread necromancer.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:41 pm

90. Area denial spell experiment sight.
You've returned to where your home town should be... No wait this isn't it.

A mage was attempting to develop a spell that would deny an enemy an area by use of force. He failed. What he managed to make is a field that makes everything in it non existent to those outside. Your home town is four feet away. Not only do you no longer remember it being here but you will do all you can to not enter the field. Hopefully someone who remembers you on the inside will reach out and pull you in. It will give you a headache that will incapacitate you as your mind copes with the two realities but once you stabilize in 3d20 minutes you will not be able to be affected by the particular field again.

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:24 pm

Zer0 Kay wrote:90. Area denial spell experiment sight.
You've returned to where your home town should be... No wait this isn't it.

A mage was attempting to develop a spell that would deny an enemy an area by use of force. He failed. What he managed to make is a field that makes everything in it non existent to those outside. Your home town is four feet away. Not only do you no longer remember it being here but you will do all you can to not enter the field. Hopefully someone who remembers you on the inside will reach out and pull you in. It will give you a headache that will incapacitate you as your mind copes with the two realities but once you stabilize in 3d20 minutes you will not be able to be affected by the particular field again.

it needs a better name, then fully statted out as a new spell. i like it

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:11 pm

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:90. Area denial spell experiment sight.
You've returned to where your home town should be... No wait this isn't it.

A mage was attempting to develop a spell that would deny an enemy an area by use of force. He failed. What he managed to make is a field that makes everything in it non existent to those outside. Your home town is four feet away. Not only do you no longer remember it being here but you will do all you can to not enter the field. Hopefully someone who remembers you on the inside will reach out and pull you in. It will give you a headache that will incapacitate you as your mind copes with the two realities but once you stabilize in 3d20 minutes you will not be able to be affected by the particular field again.

it needs a better name, then fully statted out as a new spell. i like it

Sorry... it was a mistake and abandoned.

I guess this would be a study in Somebody Else's Problem field.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:12 pm

A river in Egypt spell?

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:42 pm

91. Wha? Roll twice and COMBINE THEM
92. Seriously! Roll three times and COMBINE THEM
93. That's just not possible. Roll four times and COMBINE THEM
94. Okay so who did this? Roll five times and COMBINE THEM
95. Wait... What? Roll six times and COMBINE THEM
96. That's not even funny. Roll seven times and COMBINE THEM
97. I just can't comprehend this. Roll eight times and COMBINE THEM
98. WTH!? Roll nine times and COMBINE THEM
99. How is that even possible!! Roll ten times and COMBINE THEM
100. Uh... I refuse to admit to seeing that on the grounds that it may make me insane?! Roll eleven times and COMBINE THEM

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:55 am

randomer item game again!

Post two items after the first poster (items 1 & 2) the first item must be related to the last item posted, your second one can be whatever you want! Lets have fun aaaaand..... GO!!

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Thu Aug 14, 2014 3:10 am

01: SCREAMING FEATHERY DEATH FROM ABOVE!! 1d6x10+5 damage is taken. No save, no parry, no dodge. NO MERCY!
+
02: Players will notice the immediate area (20 ft radius in all directions, even up!) is doused with blood, bits of bone, and gobbets of flesh; as if a bubble of gore suddenly and violently burst. Any type of magic or psionic ability used to determine what happened will yield the following result. WTH did you see that!? There was a screach, something blured past and Dave exploded!

Thanks to Zer0 Kay and Thinyser for the inspiration for these.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 3:50 am

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:01: SCREAMING FEATHERY DEATH FROM ABOVE!! 1d6x10+5 damage is taken. No save, no parry, no dodge. NO MERCY!
+
02: Players will notice the immediate area (20 ft radius in all directions, even up!) is doused with blood, bits of bone, and gobbets of flesh; as if a bubble of gore suddenly and violently burst. Any type of magic or psionic ability used to determine what happened will yield the following result. WTH did you see that!? There was a screach, something blured past and Dave exploded!

Thanks to Zer0 Kay and Thinyser for the inspiration for these.

LOL

3. You find Al Gore. he says nothing but has a self satisfied grin upon his face. Using a power to find out what's up results in:

WTH did you see that!? There was a screach, something blured past and the climate exploded!... I was right the ice caps melted and the sea rose.

Just don't tell him it was the return of Atlantis and the glaxiers are just fine.

4. A petrified hamburger falls out of the sky from no where. If your wearing armor there is a big thud and a petrified hamburger falls to the ground. If your not wearing armor... You come too on the ground with a raging headache. There is a petrified hamburger next to you.

CyCo · Unread post by **CyCo** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 9:35 am

#5

A hamburger in a styrofoam container with a logo that looks like a pair of Golden Arches[sup]TM[/sup]. You find it simply laying on the ground. When you pick it up and open it, you see a Big burger. Has a light dusting of dust on it. If wiped off and eaten, it will provide you with a portion of a meal. You will feel the need to have some fries, a diet cola, 6 nuggets with your favorite sauce, an apple pie and a sundae. What those things are, and where you can get them, you have no idea. But at least you didn't get sick from the burger. Possibly a first.

#6.

A bucket of buckshot. There is 1d10x1d100 in the bucket.

Oh, they're bucks (male deer), and alive and kicking.

That's a big bucket, but you should have seen the size of the shotgun!!!

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 11:04 am

7. A full size Zentradi in hunting coveralls. He is carrying a giant shotgun and looking on the ground for something. He is friendly toward humans, but is distracted and may accidentally step on you. This sight brings beckons a few thoughts, and for some reason neither are about what he's looking for, as if that's already taken care of.

What the heck does he think he is camouflaged with, you can't quite figure out the pattern.

What the heck is he hunting?

What freaking gage is that shotgun?

Should I really be around to find out what he is hunting?

Do those coveralls come in your giant robots size and who makes them?

8. The reason chickens cross the road... and you don't like it. You know how birds are supposed to be descendants of dinosaurs? Ya may not know but back in the 00s they did an experiment to see if they could tweak the birds genes and it grew teeth. Weeeeeell apparently this chicken has devolved. You follow this rather tall (6') poultry to its nest and find not only baby chicken raptors but what must be the population of a small town in bones....

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 5:51 pm

Godot is no longer here. Wait for him someplace else.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 6:53 pm

taalismn wrote:9. Waiting Godot.

What? Common! Two items were doing a game, awww man, why'd ya have ya go and mess it up?