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Unread postPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:20 pm

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Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
Libations of the Megaverse
(-Or, why it’s a good idea not to steal somebody else’s drink)

“The bartender wants us to sign a waiver before she serves us. Most ominous...”

“Just what the HELL were we drinking last night?!”

(Seeing a naked elf effortlessly tearing the armor and clothes off a frantically resisting troll)
“I’ll have what she’s having.”

An exotic Megaverse means an exotic range of quaffs, tipples, libations, and refreshments to be served at any bar or liqueur store that caters to the megacosmopolitan crowd. Whether you’re ordering for your party, experimentally sampling tastes of elsewhere, or accidentally grabbing somebody else’s mug at the bar, here’s some random roll charts for what’s on tap.

f) *Presentation
g) *Stored in/Served in
i) *Bio-Compatibility
l) *Toxicity
m)*Side Effects
o) *Recommended Quaffing Method
p) *Hangover
q) *(Best)Cure for the Hangover

“And we even wash the tub between batches!”

Where did this drink come from?

01-30% Brewed locally in small batches
31-60% Brewed in industrial quantities in massive factory-like production facilities in a city.
61-85% Made in traditional manner in large quantities in an adjacent county, state, or country.
86-95%Made by (alien) faeries(+15% to Magical)
96-00% Imported from a distant alien universe

(looking at bar tab)”...just how MANY drinks did I have?”

How much does the drink cost(on average) per serving?

01-10% Cheap as *****---Less than a credit for a drink
11-45% Inexpensive---1d4 credits a drink
46-75% Moderate---Costs about 2d6 credits a drink
76-90% Pricey---6d6 credits a drink
91-00% Emperor’s Ransom---3d6x10 credits per drink

“Don’t say it...please don’t say it-”
“I don’t know what it is, but it’s green-”

What color is it?

01-05% White
06-10% Amber
11-20% Red
21-30% Yellow
31-40% Green
41-50% Blue
51-60% Purple
61-65% Silver
66-70% Gold
71-75% Coffee Brown
76-80% Black
81-00% Colorless/Clear

“Some drinks come with a swizzle stick...this one comes with a mini-jackhammer.”

How fluid is the ‘drink’?

01-05% Sludge; like drinking congealing liquid cement.
06-25%Thick and syrupy, like a stew or milkshake
26-94% Watery, like beer
95-00% Thin as lubricating oil.

“Your drink will be served shortly...we just have to turn off all the fire alarms first.”

What’s the recommended temperature for serving and drinking?

01-02% Burning Cold; it steals heat from you.
03-10% Near Frozen----Slurpee-slush. Be careful of brain freeze.
11-30% Chilled---Equivalent to a glass of lemonade with ice
31-70% Room Temperature
71-85% Warmed---Equivalent to a cup of tea.
86-99% Boiling---Scalding hot
-00% Glowing Hot---Molecules are disassociating in the crucible of this drink.

f) *Presentation
“You ain’t finished your drink until you’ve eaten the worm.”

When served, how does it appear?

01-05% Layered---Various densities of the drink’s ingredients settle into strata.
06-08% Crusted---Has a surface layer of solid material floating on it.
09-25% Foaming---The drink comes with an impressive head of foam
26-50% Bubbling---The drink appears carbonated, or at least seems to be releasing large bubbles of gas.
51-60% Steaming---Fog or steam covers the top of the liquid.
61-70% Combusting---The surface is temporarily on fire.
71-75% Glowing---Seems to be generating its own light.
76-84% Growling---The drink is actually making loud noises like hissing or groaning.
85-95% Botanical Component---Is served with a sprig of vegetation, fruit, or vegetable, steeping in it.
96-99% Biological Component---The drink is served with some sort of critter marinating in it. 30% chance of it still being alive.
-00% Very Active---Roll 1d4 times.

g)*Stored in/Served in
“I’ve seen nuclear material delivered in lighter containers...”

Roll twice to determine what the drink is stored in, and what it is traditionally served in. Some drinks, for example, may be stored in bottles, metal kegs, or wooden barrels, and served in glass flutes, metal bowls, ceramic mugs, or stone troughs. Some may be served in living containers(like certain neo-Martian meads being served in giant hand-sized honey-ants), while others have to be held in magical forcefields and sipped or sniffed through tubes or hollow reeds.

01-25% Glass
26-40% Metal
41-60% Ceramic
61-70% Stoneware
71-85% Wood
86-91% Reinforced Heavy Metal
91-95% Living Container
96-00% Forcefield

“Why’s the lettering on this bottle’s label redacted?”

(Skip over this section if you really don’t want to know what’s in your drink. Really, seriously.)

01-05% Processed minerals
06-30% Fermented fruit
31-60% Fermented vegetable matter(ex. barley, sugar cane, potatoes, rice)
61-70% Fermented animal secretions(ex. milk, honey)
71-75% Fermented digestive secretions
76-84% Fermented circulatory fluids
85-89% Fermented neurological fluids
90-93% Fermented biological waste secretions
94-99% Completely synthetic
-00% Cocktail of 1d4+1 of the above(roll again)

i) *Bio-Compatibility
“How can you NOT like this stuff? I’ve never had any problems with it.”

How does the drink affect different drinkers? Drink XXyz may induce acute euphoria in its brewers’ species, while causing agonizing blood poisoning in all other drinkers, or it may kill humans while only making the fur fall out on Wulfen and Kittani break out in green polka-dots. Some drinks have the dubious reputation of having different effects EVERY time they are drunk, often making them useful for stocking only for ‘do or die’ drinking contests.

01-10% Universal Effect---Has the same effect(s) on ALL drinkers, regardless of species.
11-65% Has the same effect on everybody not of the original drinker’s species.
66-80% Has the same effect only on particular species.
81-97% Has a different effect on every drinker of the original drinker’s species, but the same effect on everybody else.
98-99% Has a different effect on every new drinker.
-00% Has a different effect EVERY TIME you drink it.

“GAWD, but this tastes AWFUL!!! Gimme another, barkeep!”

How does the stuff taste?

01-05% Irresistible---Roll under ME or go nuts looking for another shot of the stuff, and get all mopey if you can’t get any more.
06-15% Delicious---Likely to rank high on your list of favorites.
16-55% Good---Can be drunk any time without objection.
56-70% Acquired Taste---Likely need to drink a few dozen or be deprived of any alternatives before it becomes acceptable.
71-85% Barely Tolerable----Just a wince away from being undrinkable.
86-95% Utterly Repellent---Can be drunk if you close your eyes, pinch your nose, have had your tongue anesthetized beforehand, and have somebody force-feed it to you while distracting you with gratuitous nudity pushed up against you, a sudden explosion, or a weapon muzzle held to your head.
96-00% Unspeakably Vile. Roll under ME or start throwing up.

k) *Intoxication
“Gonna take more than a sniff of this stuff to unwind meurpplegeenslurgh...”

Can you get drunk off the stuff? How easily?

01-10% Buzz-less---May as well be drinking distilled water. NO Hangover roll.
11-20% Weak---Going to have to guzzle a gallon or more to start feeling anything. -10% to Hangover roll
21-50% Sociable---Generally takes 2-6 glasses before one starts feeling buzzed.
51-75% Hard---Takes 1d4+1 servings before the world starts looking funny. +5% on Hangover roll.
76-90% Insta-Stoned---One glass-wow, look at the colors! +10% on Hangover roll.
91-00% Just SMELLING the stuff is enough to knock you out. Actually DRINKING the stuff gains a +20% on Hangover rolls.

l) *Toxicity
“...given his tipple of choice, poisoning his drink was rather redundant, in retrospect.”

How likely is this stuff to kill you?

01-20% Utterly benign---You could chug this stuff by the tanker truck and it would have no ill effect on you.
21-70% Mildly Toxic---About equivalent to alcoholic spirits. Downing several gallons a day on a regular basis will likely result in liver and organ problems in 1d4 years, but regular abstinence will allow the body to recover.
71-85% Slow Death---Roll versus Non-Lethal Poison every time you reach intoxication dose level. On a failed roll take 1d4 to HP.
86-98% Organ Replacement--- Roll versus Lethal Poison per glass or take 2d4 HP damage.
99-00% Drink This and You Will Die---This stuff is so poisonous you may as well be drinking straight nitric acid. Don’t bother rolling versus poison of any sort, just roll 1d20 direct to Hit Points.

m)*Side Effects
“What’s everybody doing on the ceiling?”

What other effects does the drink have on the drinker?

01-% Temporarily DOUBLES the drinker’s Hit Points/SDC/MDC for 2d4x10 minutes
02-05% System Purge---Works on your bladder and intestines faster than a mop head pushed by city fire hose water pressure. You have 1d6x10 seconds to make it to a lavatory before the floodgates blow open.
06-07% Incredible Sense of Well-being---You are HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY. Empathic Suggestion will not work on you, nor will any other form of depression-style insanity. Effects last 2d4 hours.
08-% Hair Growth---Increase your overall body hair coverage and quantity by 1d10 times over the next 1d8x10 minutes.
09-11% Suicide Juice---Acute Depressive. Swallowing antidepressants and anti-psychotics by the handful hardly takes the edge on the downer this drink induces. Roll versus non-lethal poison or become a heatsink of joy for 1d4 hours.
12-14% Soporific---Roll versus non-lethal poison or go down in z’s for 4d6 minutes.
15-16% Personality Flip---The character will slip a level in alignment and begin acting the opposite of how they normally do. Milquetoast characters will act like wildmen, he-men will act effeminate, mice will act like cats, and career politicians will tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Effects last 1d4 hours.
17-18% Creative Fugue---The drink awakens something deeply creative in you; for 1d4 hours you will be fixated to the exception of all else on using one of your creative/artistic talents at +20% in some creative endeavor. This could be writing a song, painting a picture, composing poetry, or simply writing out an essay or dissertation. While this artistic possession is taking place, the character is at HALF all other skill and hand to hand bonuses.
19-20% Sensory Deprivation---Temporarily(1d4 hours) knocks out (01-30%) your sense of taste,(31-60%) your sense of smell, or (61-00%) both.
21-% Badassery---Whether it’s the reputation of the drink or some chemical effect acting on you, but people seeing you finish the drink will react to you as if you had an Intimidation Factor of 10+2d4. This aura of badassery only lasts 4d6 minutes.
22-24% Gas Factory---01-50% marathon belching, 51-00% acute flatulence. 1d6x10 minutes.
25-27% Temporary Loss of Short Term Memory---Lose the last 1d4x10 minutes of whatever you were doing.
28-30% Cravings---Roll under ME or be stuck with a craving for something(typically something to eat, like salty foods) for 1d4 hours.
31-33% Double Vision--- Everything starts getting 1d4 extra images around it. -1d4 to strike. 1d6x10 minutes
34-% Liquid Meal---The drink actually provides all the calories(and maybe nutrition) of a regular meal.
35-37% Speak in Tongues---Speech turns to gribblegrubbleyenyangpollygobble. 1d6x10 minutes
38-39% Simulates the effects of hypoxia---Breathing becomes shallow, skin turns pale shading to blue. Fatigues at DOUBLE the normal rate. Lasts 2d4x10 minutes.
40-% De-wormer---Toxifies your body so much that any parasites are either killed or abandon ship. +1 to save versus disease. Lasts 3d6x10 minutes.
41-42% Momentary Paralysis---Lose control of your voluntary muscles for 4d6 minutes.
43-45% Loose Tongue---Removes your inhibitions with regards to controlling what you say, so watch it, fatso, because you can’t afford to show off how absolutely stupid you really are. Oh, and you’re ugly, too. Lasts 2d4x10 minutes.
46-47% Rule of Attraction---01-80% this drink makes other people look suddenly much more attractive to you, 81-00% makes YOU look more attractive to others. Lasts 2d4x10 minutes.
48-50% Hallucinations---Really vivid; you’ll swear you really ARE on the Mayflower, talking to a glowing pink gorilla about the drama of Jean-Paul Sartre. Lasts 2d4x10 minutes.
51-53% Feeling of Invincibility---You feel great! You feel unstoppable! You feel no pain! You don’t realize how bad you’re really hurting. Lasts 2d4x10 minutes.
54-56% Body-Robber----Saps your strength until you feel like a wet noodle, chicken variety, with a P.S. of 1. Lasts 1d8x10 minutes. HALF strength for an additional 2d6x10 minutes afterwards.
57-58% Induced Synthesia---Your senses swap places, so now sounds have flavors, colors have tactile values, smells provoke splashes of color. Really neat. Lasts 2d4 hours.
59-63% BattleStations---Makes you hyper-aggressive and looking for any excuse to SMASHDESTROY!!!! +1 to Initiative for decking somebody. Lasts 2d4x10 minutes.
64-66% Diminished Libido---Roll a d20...on a 1, you’re having second thoughts about trying to get somebody in the sack tonight. On a 20, you forget about the idea of gender and sex entirely. Lasts 6d6 hours.
67-% Cancer Cure---If you don’t have cancer, this will cause any aberrant growths (like warts)to drop off your body.
68-69% Induced Baldness----All your hair drops out. Re-grow hair as normal.
70-73% Skin-Change---Lasts 1d6 DAYS. 01-15% Break out in painful acne blisters and scabs(-1 to initiative/dodge due to the irritation), 16-60%Change skin color(use Color table above, and gain a Horror Factor of 10+1d4 if the clear/colorless selection is rolled), 61-70% become photosensitive(-1 to initiative when exposed to bright light), 71-80% skin texture changes to the opposite of what it normally is(-1d6 to P.B.). 81-90% touch-sensitive(+5% to skills requiring tactile sensitivity, but -1 to initiative and parry due to the painful sensations of being touched, -1 APM if heavly covered/clothed due to the claustropobic feeling of being covered all over), 91-00% vascular vulnerability(take +1 point of extra damage from painful bruising and bleeding, and suffers from feelings of being cold all the time due to increased heat loss).
74-76% HyperStimulant---Goshjeewhizthisreallyperksyouupmakesyouclimb-wallsrunmilesinplace. Be. Prepared. To. Crash. Lasts 2d6x10 minutes.
77-78% Religious Epiphany---Save vs insanity or (01-50%) feel compelled to join a religion,(51-00%) feel compelled to START one.
79-80% Time Slow---From the perspective of the drinker time seems to get really slow even though only they can perceive it. Lasts 4d4x10 minutes(but feels a LOT shorter).
81-82% Time Acceleration----Time seems to speedupthoughthedrinkerseemstobestuckinmolassescomparedtoeverybodyaroundthem. Lasts 2d4x10 minutes(but feels a LOT longer).
83-% See Absolute Truth---Everything makes horrible sense now. Make a save vs random insanity.
84-87% Stimulated Sex Drive--- You’re ready to rutrumba until your pelvis cracks. Roll a d20...on a 1, you’ll only go after the best lookers in the room, while at the other end of the scale, on a 20, you’ll hit on anything that would have you. Lasts 1d8 hours.
88-89% Sex Change----Flip your gender to the opposite(01-75% chance of being purely in your head, 76-00% of being an actual physical change, +25% if the drink is magically active). Lasts 1d8 hours.
90-94% Zombie Mode---Enhanced suggestibility. Consider your ME HALVED for purposes of resisting persuasion and mind control attempts. Lasts 1d8 hours.
95-% Roll in Heroes/Powers Unlimited for a Random Superpower. Lasts 5d6 minutes.
96-99% Roll Twice
-00% Roll 1d4+1 times

“This stuff’s as magically inert as Emperor Prosek’s heart...but somehow whenever the Flooper’s drink it, I swear they start glowing like a gandolf....”

Does the drink have any sort of magic effects on the drinker? One man’s liquid bread is another man’s magic potion.

01-75% None. Not EVERYTHING has to be magic, you know? This stuff has NO magic, get it? No fizzy, funny, happy, magical effects. Zilch, zip, nope, not even.
76-80% Negatively Magic---Drinking it actually LOCKS magic abilities. Cannot perform any magic until the drink is metabolized(typically 2d4 hours).
81-90% Mildly Magical; either gives a boost of 3d6 PPE, or induces a low-level spell(levels 1-4) in the person, for a duration equivalent to 1s4 levels of the spell.
91-98% Faerie-Draught---The drink can be considered equivalent to a faerie-brewed tipple with regards to magic activity.
99-00% Liquid Magic Storm----The stuff is the equivalent of liquid PPE, conferring a shot of 2d4x10 PPE. However, unless the person has magical or psychic abilities, this temporary reservoir cannot be tapped for anything useful. The bad aspect of this is that it makes the drinker light up like a road flare to those sensitive to PPE, including predators. Lasts 3d6x10 minutes.

o) *Recommended Quaffing Method
“Small, quick, sips, to give you time to drop the drink and seek immediate medical attention if you feel your lips catching fire.”

What’s the best way to drink it?

01-03% Sipped slowly, one molecule at a time
04-06% Taken with an accessory flavor-enhancer chemical(powdered lime, salt, clay ball, tobacco, etc.)
07-10% Taken with an antidote(comes with an atropine injector or chelation substance)
11-30% Taken with a chaser(01-75% plain water, 76-90% juice or milk, 91-00% another alcoholic beverage)
31-45% Drunk through a filter(cheese cloth, bread stick, silver mesh, etc.)
46-94% Chugged straight---Bottom’s up.
95-98% Inhaled---Needs to be vaporized or breathed in.
99-00% Taken Intravenously

p) *Hangover
(sound of cellphone chiming)

If you overindulge, how bad is the aftermath?

01-10% None
11-30% Mild---Can get through it with some aspirin and focus. Roll versus non-lethal poison(and +2 at that) and the hangover goes away in 4d6 minutes, otherwise it lasts 1d6x10 minutes. -1 to initiative and -5% to skill rolls.
31-60 % Strict Reminder--Mild enough to power through on sheer willpower and lots of liquids, but painful enough to remind you that the binge was a BAD idea. -1 to initiative, strike, parry, dodge and roll, -10% to skill rolls for 2d6x10 minutes.
61-75-% Head-Pounder---- Has you reaching for the extra-strength painkillers and wondering if that last drink was REALLY worth it. -1d4 to initiative, strike, parry, dodge and roll, -15% to skill rolls for 3d6x10 minutes.
76-90% Hammer-Buzz---Like concussions or riding inside washing machines. Yeah, pretty much feels like that...for 2d6 HOURS. HALF all bonuses for hand to hand, APMs, and skill rolls.
91-00% Deathwish---Write off the rest of your day, because you’re going to be praying for the bliss of a coma. Limited to 1 APM, and NO initiative or bonuses, HALF skill rolls, for 4d6 hours.

q) *(Best)Cure for the Hangover
“Well, the -fast- cure for this sort of thing is the fresh hot raw liver of a mammal. Call room service for me, will you?”

01-20 % Plenty of (nonalcoholic) fluids
21-25% More alcohol(just not the same kind)
26-30% Off the shelf painkiller
31-35% Oxygen---or vigorous breathing for 15 minutes of purified, enriched atmospheric gas(whatever your character normally breathes).
36-40% Exercise----4d6 minutes of vigorous exercise will accelerate the process of flushing it from your system.
41-45% Mild Stimulants(caffeine)
46-50% Vegetables or Vegetable Juice---Eating certain vegetables will cure the hangover in half the time(GM’s prerogative; can be rare or out of season fruits or vegetables, like trying to find coconuts in Anchorage, Alaska)
51-55% Hair of the Dog-- Ingesting 1d6 strands of hair of a canine will reduce duration and damage of the hangover by HALF. Negates it completely if the canine has bitten the ingestor beforehand.
56-60% Raw Meat(or fresh blood)---At least 6 ounces of raw bloody meat must be consumed to HALVE the hangover effects.
61-66% Bloodletting---Bleeding out(includes leeches and vampires) 1d4 Hit Points’ worth of blood will cure the hangover. The blood loss on the other hand....
67-80% Magic ---A simple Purge spell will do the trick, and Impervious to Poison will reduce the duration/damage by HALF.
81-85% Cold---Icepacks, cold showers, or really powerful air conditioning will reduce the after effects by HALF.
86-90% Spice----Black pepper, chili pepper, and/or a combination of potent herbs and spices with enough punch to clear your sinuses and ablate your taste buds off, served in a concoction vile enough to make yourself purge yourself even if the chemicals don’t do the job(see ‘Utterly Repellent’ under j)*Flavor above).
91-95% Pain---An external or secondary source of acute pain(electrical shock, biting into ice cubes wrapped in tin foil, red hot iron. etc.). Doesn’t necessarily cure the hangover, but gives the sufferer something more immediate to worry about.
96-97% Chocolate---At least 6 ounces of chocolate(ideally dark chocolate) must be ingested to do its magic.
98-99% Prayer----At least 2d4 minutes of sincere prayer and possibly a small sacrifice to a deity of libations(Dionysus, Ninkasi, Silenus, Mbaba Mwana Waresa, Radegast, etc. ). The Porcelain God does NOT count.
-00% None; there is no known cure for the hangover induced by the drink, except time.

"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling

Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 8:45 pm

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Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 3:38 pm
Posts: 5144
I'll have two more please.

Boss Drum motivating Rhythm of Life
Cultural revival - this is Survival
Natural Magical Patterns of Percussion
Is the Discussion, so listen up close
Let it connect you to the Powers that Be
With healing Rhythmic Synergy
Techno Tribal and Positively Primal
Shamanic Anarchistic Archaic Revival

Boss Drum by The SHAMEN

Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 8:54 pm

User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Posts: 42019
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
DhAkael wrote:
I'll have two more please.

(sound of coaster sliding down bar counter)

"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling

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